


Sweet Tooth

by sweet_bellyache



Series: Sweet Skeleton Lovin’ [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ;)))))), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Canon LGBTQ Character, Coffee, Coffee Shop, Depression, Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Executive Dysfunction, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Hope This Is Okay, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overstimulation, Pet Names, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader-Insert, Sans (Undertale)/Female Reader - Freeform, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Slow Updates, Smut, Steady increase, Sweet Sex, You have a bad ex now, abusing idea of love, but you didn’t mean to, but you’ve been having a good time ;), comforting sans, i swear I’m trying, im sorry, im trying a slow burn, papyrus is a sweetheart, reader is straight, sans is here to help, sans is sweet and yet sometimes a douche, shitty chapter names !!! not sorry, well not just sad, you have problems, you just sad bro, your dad died
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2020-06-29 22:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 69,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19839400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_bellyache/pseuds/sweet_bellyache
Summary: You find yourself in a whirlpool of regret when you have a one night stand with a random skeleton who you hit it off with after your boyfriend cheats on you.  Your anxiety has worsened and made it impossible for you to be alone, but you won’t tell anyone that.





	1. Son Of A Bitch: A Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JuniperJoy101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniperJoy101/gifts).



You couldn't believe your eyes.

After three loving and happy years of dating him, he snuck behind your back and hooked up with your coworker.

You were standing, mouth agape, eyes wide, boiling with rage, as your boyfriend scrambled to come up with some excuse as to why they were under the blankets with your bitch of a coworker, Lina.

"(Y-Y/N)!" He yelped. "I-It's not what it looks like, I-I-I swear!"

You felt an outrageous amount of betrayal land heavy on your heart, pulling and twisting with your recently excited mood.You had gotten off early from work, so you were excited to finally get some time with him alone.

Oh, God, but the sight!

Life was so cruel to you.

Your mouth gathered poison on the tip of your tongue, ready to shout at your unfaithful lover.

Oh, God, the rage.

You were _fuming_.

"Not what it looks like?!"You screeched at him, finally gaining your voice back."You're fucking my coworker!What else is it?!You cheating bastard!"Your rain of a thousand screams continued, drowning out whatever pathetic excuse tried to make its way out of his mouth.

"Three god damn years!I threw away three years with you just for you to fucking cheat on me!"You cried, unwanted tears welling up in your lids.Your voice cracked at you abused it, throaty sobs and bellows of vexation flowing out of you.

"(Y/N), baby—"

"Don't you fucking 'baby' me!"You howled at him, drops of your weakness spilling down your cheeks, reddening your eyes."Get the Hell out of here!Pack your shit and go!I don't want to see your fucking face anymore!"

You stormed out of the room, slamming the door as hard as you could behind you.You grabbed your purse and your keys from the coffee table and sloppily rammed into the door to open it.

You ignored the calls of your name coming from the bedroom as he chased after you, unwilling to give him another chance.

You were thunderously crying, not yet attending to your sadness-and-betrayal-born tears while you proceeded to get as far away from that asshole as possible.

You recklessly jumped into your car, almost shattering the window with how hard you slammed your door shut.As the engine roared to life, you finally tapped into the emotions that caused the hot, fat tears to roll down your face.With a quivering lip and squinted lids, you let out a defeated scream.

Life really wouldn't give you any victory, would it?

You pounded your hands against the steering wheel in a burst of fury, letting out shrill shrieks of disbelief in between.

Nothing ever seemed to go right.

~

You were at a local bar, mindlessly swirling a glass of bourbon in your hand. You felt so broken. Oh, God, you felt torn. Just ripped.

A fresh sting of new tears pinched your eyes, and they leaked out freely without your consent.

You didn't even bother to wipe them away, knowing more would just return to follow paths down your cheeks. You bubbled out a sob, resting your head in your arms to hide your upset heart.

_Three years._

_You loved him._

_You were in love with that bastard._

_That awful, cheating, stupid, handsome, sweet, funny, loving—_

"hey, what's got you so _down_?"

Oh, God.

Was that a _pun_?

You lifted your head to see who was talking to you, and you found yourself face-to-face with a skeleton.

A monster?

You knew about monsters. They had come up to the surface about two years ago, and while some humans were rather outraged by the new species that began living amongst yourselves, you found yourself unbothered by them. In fact, they seemed to be better mannered than humans. All your exchanges with monsters had been pleasant, with a couple of exceptions.

The monster that was in front of you was wearing a grin, a blue hoodie, and black basketball shorts with a white stripe down the side— from what you could see. He didn't seem very tall, maybe an inch or two tallerthan you. He was waiting for your reaction, too, patiently smiling at you with his perfect white teeth and soft lights of pupils in his black sockets.

Your lip tugged upwards just slightly at the bad pun, and you wiped a tear from your face.

"I'd rather not _taco_ 'bout it," you replied. You noticed the grin of the skeleton curved a little bigger, and a soft chuckle erupted from him. 

"that's okay, i'm just glad i didn't _whiskey_ opportunity to talk to you."

You picked up on the low tone of his voice, sounding deep yet smooth. You also noticed the slight pick-up line he used...? Along with the pun he made with it?

Was he hitting on you?

Your smile bloomed a little more, although your mood stayed upset. Needing the burn of alcohol, you took another swig of your drink, but you turned to the skeletal stranger to continue a conversation.

"(Y/N)." You stuck your hand out for a shake. He looked a little surprised, but he smiled as he returned the shake.

"sans, sans the skeleton," he smiled warmly.

You snorted, earning a curious gaze from him.

"Your name is Sans the skeleton?" You asked, still giggling. He turned a light shade of the sky in the cheeks, hardly noticeable.

"well, no, but that's just how i greet people. not about to go around giving out my last name so easy," he shrugged. You chuckled again, and took another lengthy sip of your drink. You winced after the alcohol had lasted in your throat, scorching its path on its way to your stomach.

"So what are you coming to a bar for?" You asked after you had gotten used to the taste of the bourbon on your tongue.

"are you kiddin'?" he asked, though you could clearly hear the humor in his tone. "i come to grillby's every night. he's like my best friend."

You hummed in response, filing down the urge to joke about him being an alcoholic in fear he might actually have that problem.

There goes your social anxiety, scolding yourself despite not even saying it.

"i know ya said ya didn't want to talk about it, and this'll be the last time i pry, but what's your reason?"

You deadpanned at the reminder.

You expression turned cold, eyes burning to remind you of your previous tears. You downed the remnants of your drink, and turned back to Sans.

"Boyfriend cheated on me with one of my fucking coworkers."

Your voice had venom trickling from each letter, but your lifeless tone soon cracked, thus revealing your heavy emotions.

With a stupid reminder of the man you loved, you found your heart breaking all over again. You saw the image of him and Lina in your bed again, the sweaty and startled faces of both of them burned into your brain. 

All those dates, all those times he met up with you during your work, all those times you hung out with friends with him—

_Gone_.

You started crying again. Waves upon waves of tears spilling out of your red eyes. You hiccuped and sobbed in front of the skeleton, though you were quite sure he was gone by then.

Until a gentle and cool hand landed on your back.

Sans rubbed small circles around your back, attempting to soothe your bothered mood.

It was silent for a few moments. Several seconds of you crying and Sans awkwardly comforting you passed, and you finally began to calm down.

"sounds like a real asshole," he finally spoke. "i'm sorry about that, kiddo. shit fuckin' sucks."

"Yeah, three god damn years thrown away," you seethed with a dry throat. "I don't even know know why he did it." You cursed at yourself in your head for remembering him again. The image reappeared.

Oh, God.

You blinked back forming tears, wanting—

No—

_Needing_ to forget it.

To forget _him_.

You beckoned the bartender for a double of what you just had.

Sans asked for a ketchup.

_What_?

"Did you just ask him for...?"

"ketchup? yeah. 's pretty good. ya wanna try some?" he offered. You made a face of disgust, your lips tugging up into a grossed out smile.

"Ew!" You squealed. "I take ketchup on my fries, not straight down the hatch."

"maybe we should _ketchup_ on each other since i don't really know ya?" He joked with a grin. Despite yourself, you ended up laughing at the dumb pun, joining him in a fit of stupid giggles.

"I _relish_ the fact that you _mustard_ enough courage to ask me that," you laughed, downing quite a bit of your drink while Sans choked on his ketchup.

He set the bottle down, hacking up the red condiment as he laughed, coughing and sputtering guffaws of laughter. It splattered some of the ketchup on the counter, making you laugh harder.

Every time he tried to calm down, he just ended up laughing again, restarting the cycle of choking and coughing.

You, by that time, were cracking up, laughing so hard that you couldn't even breathe. It was definitely the result of being buzzed, but it really was funny. 

Once Sans finally swallowed down his ketchup, he got out some painless laughs with you about it.

Although, that only lasted about a second, because tipsy you accidentally leaned too far back on your barstool, and you tipped over, falling to the floor.

Sans started laughing even harder.

You were howling by that time, wheezing and holding your stomach.

"a-are ya... pfft... are ya okay?" he grinned at you from the bar, still snorting at your state.

You stood up from your fallen seat, picking it up and sitting back on it normally. You were still giggling uncontrollably, but you answered with a small nod.

"H-Holy shit," you sputtered through a laugh. "I haven't laughed that hard in forever."

After another moment of calmed chuckles and giggles, you were finally able to start talking again.

~

Several drinks and two hours later...

You rifled through your wallet, pulling out a plastic card, and tossing it on the counter towards Sans.

"what's this?" he asked with a slight slur in his voice. You smirked at him.

"My library card," you informed him victoriously. "I'm checking you out." He snorted, much to your liking.

"alright, that was pretty good," he caved. "but i got a better one."

You were in a heated pick-up line competition with Sans. How it started, you don't remember. All you knew was that you had to beat him.

He started patting down his pockets, searching for something that you thought he misplaced.

"damn, i musta lost my number," he mumbled so you could hear. "can i get yours?" His grin turned mischievous, a smirk blooming.

You giggled, and decided to follow through with his.

"Actually, yeah, lemme see your phone," you smiled. His eye lights and his grin brightened, eagerly pulling it from his pocket and handing it over.

You typed it in to his contacts, and put (Y/N) as the contact.

"hell yeah! i didn't think that'd work!" he chuckled, and put his phone away. You bit your lip at his funny reaction, and readied another one. It was a bit desperate, sure, but he was winning.

"Are you a ring theorist? Because that ass is maximal ideal."

Sans' eyes widened, and his grin turned surprised. In fear that you might've scared him off with your nerdy pick up line, you covered your face with your hands, turning a bright red.

"Augh! I knew it was too nerdy!" You groaned at yourself.

You were busy wallowing in your own humiliation when you heard a soft sound of laughter and felt your hands being pulled away from your face.

"nah, that wasn't too nerdy. actually, was right up my alley. i love that sort of shit."

It was your turn to widen your eyes.

"Really? Are you a mathematician?" You asked him curiously. He shrugged, wincing as if to tell you 'not really'.

"'s more of a hobby than a job," he passively answered. "but you've inspired me."

You perked up at the sentence, and excitedly got ready for his pick up line.

"it needs some participation, okay?" he told you, and his cheekbones dusted a soft blue.

_What did that mean?_

"Hey, your cheeks are blue," you told him with interest piqued. They turned a little bit darker, like the shade of the ocean.

"heh, 's cuz i'm a little bit nervous."

You were about to ask about it further, except he cut you off.

"anyway, so let's say you have two points, and you keep cutting the distance between them in half," he prompted you, facing his body towards you completely, so you did the same. You quickly finished off your drink, allowing the alcohol to infect your veins and flow through you. "do those points ever touch?"

You shook your head no.

His grin twinged with challenge.

"let's test it out."

"let's take the distance between you and me," he winked at you, and your cheeks burned just a bit. "and cut it in half."

You scooted closer to him, just closer to the edge of your seat, and he did the same. He put his hand up to stop either of you from moving anymore.

"that's perfect," he told you. "let's cut it again." You scooted on the very edge of your seat, significantly close to him. He scooted a little bit further as well, leaving barely a few inches.

You felt your heart drumming in your ears.

_What were you doing?_

The voice in your head was telling you this was wrong.

So very wrong.

_Stop, you can't do this!_

You ignored it.

You wanted this.

With just about three inches between your faces, Sans said lowly, "what happens if we cut it again?"

_Stop!_

_You shouldn't do this!_

_Think about Henry!_

You felt your anger spike with the reminder of your unfaithful lover, the very reason you came to get drunk.

**Screw Henry.**

**He fucked you over, and you don't need him.**

Your eyes shifted to his teeth.

"I think—" you leaned forward— "this."

You gently placed your lips where his would be, making him freeze in his spot.After hardly a second, you felt him relax against your kiss, succumbing into you.

Kissing a skeleton felt... weird... but nice.His teeth were cool, yet you still felt him kissing back.

He placed a hand on the back of your neck, slowly snaking it through your (H/L) hair.Your knee brushed against his femur, which was where you laid your hand.He ever so slightly deepened the kiss, tilting his head to get another angle.

Something wet prodded your lips, and you soon realized it was his tongue.When your lips parted to accept it, you felt him dominate the inside of your mouth. 

~

You weren't clear minded.

Not at all.

You didn't know where you were, but you assumed it was Sans' room, considering that you were on a bed.

_Pinned down._

You couldn't use your hands as Sans was holding them above your head.

Hot breaths were filling the room.

Hot breaths and _your moans._

He was biting and sucking on your exposed neck.

_Where were your clothes?_

You didn't care.

He growled against your skin, low and gruff, not like how he spoke at Grillby's.

"ya so soft," he murmured."and ya taste so **fucking good.** "

You weren't even aware of what was leaving your mouth.

So when you openly squealed out a moan, you weren't mindful enough to try and shut up.

"oh, god, and ya sound so perfect," he grumbled, almost a whine."keep makin' those noises, sweetheart.i **fucking love them.** "

So you did.

_You're so fucking drunk._

_You don't even remember half the shit that happened._

Your brain skipped again, like it didn't want you to remember what happened.

_All you remembered was pleasure..._

_Being slammed against a wall..._

_Nailed into the bed..._

_Taken control of..._

_He was merciless..._

_And you fucking loved it..._

_You wasted freak._


	2. The Morning After

You finally awoke.

Regret seemed to swallow you whole as you finally put your mind to use.

Well, regret and _pain_.

_Throbbing pain._

You had a hangover.

_Great_.

You felt nauseous, like you'd throw up right then and there.

Thankfully, you held your stomach enough so that you kept your dinner from last night.

What even _happened_ last night?

You threw the duvet off of yourself, but you stayed in your same spot, unwilling to move.You were so tired.Your head was pounding, your legs were sore, your mouth tasted dry, of faint bourbon, and... was that ketchup?

You swore you hadn't had ketchup in forever, so why were you tasting it—

_Oh_.

That's when it came rushing back.

You weren't in your own room.

You had _kissed_ Sans—

Well, you had made out with Sans.

_Was that it?_

_Why were you in his room then?_

Oh, god.

_That wasn't it._

Little slivers of last night pinned your memory, but nothing complete.

You hooked up with him.

He fucked you senseless.

He ruined you last night.

And you were _loving_ it.

You shot straight up in his bed; your cheeks burned a hot blush. You looked down to see you were wearing nothing. You were bare naked in a stranger's home.

You silently sat, cursing yourself heavily in your head.

_A one night stand?!_

_You've never done that before!_

Oh, god!

You held your head in your palms, and that's when your anxiety kicked in.

Your breathing quickened, a result of the straining in your throat. Tears sprung to your eyes, and you started whispering little things to yourself.

"Oh, god, oh, shit! What were you thinking, you idiot?! Why don't you use your brain for once?! My, god, you just got out of a relationship, for Pete's sake! You dumbass! Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god—"

A light knock on the door shut you up quick. You had even stopped breathing.

You didn't respond, in fear of who it might've been or how your voice might've sounded.

After another moment, you heard a voice.

"you're supposed to say 'who's there?'"

Despite your anxiety, you answered.

"Um, w-who's there?" When you spoke, you noticed your real voice sounded raspy, and throaty.

_Screaming. You were moaning and wailing last night. He drove you straight over the edge, and you were voicing every little thing he did to you._

Idiot. You fucking slut. Your throat is sore from _moaning_ too much?

"snow."

"Snow who?"

"snow use asking if ya just let me in."

You felt a smile bloom to your face, but then you remembered you were naked.

"Oh, wait! Um, before you come in, I-I have to get dressed," you told him, flushing a bright red you were thankful he wasn't in the room to see.

"oh, uh, sorry, i'll... i'll come back later," he apologized quickly. "but, i wanted to ask how ya take your coffee?"

You felt your surprise capture you for a second before you answered.

"Um, with cream and sugar?" You replied.

"is that a question?"

You giggled.

"Sorry, no, I'm just... not used to this sort of stuff... I guess?"

"it's good. i'll be back with some coffee.take ya time."

You thanked him, and started to get dressed so you'd look decent when he came back.

Thankfully, you hadn't gone out in a dress. In fact, you were in rather comfortable clothes when you were at the bar.

You slipped on your undergarments, and pulled your (F/C) crop top over your head. Right as you got it completely on, you felt a wave of pain tear into your head again.

"Fuck... God, ow!" You winced, clutching your head and buckling over. Your eyes squinted shut as you waited for the pain to pass.

A couple minutes later, it left— still throbbing, but you could withstand it at least.

You yanked your ripped jeans over your sore legs, and searched around for your phone. When you found it, you realized it was dead.

"Damn it!" You hissed.

Another knock on the door.

"hey, uh, is everything okay in there?" You heard him ask.

"Yeah, it's... it's fine. I'll come out now." You shoved your phone in a pocket and opened up the door.

He was standing there, coffee cup in one hand, and two pills in the other.

You made a questioning face.

"What? You gonna drug me?" You joked. He laughed, but shook his head.

"nah, i thought you could use some pain-killers. ya had a lot to drink last night, so i can imagine you've got a _killer_ hangover."

He wasn't wrong. You shrugged, and thanked him.

"i can get ya some breakfast, too, if ya need it," he offered, handing the coffee and pain-killers over.

You downed the pills, and widened your eyes at the taste of the coffee. It was insanely good. Like the best cup you'd ever had.

"Breakfast sounds good— Wow, this is delicious," you commented, taking a large sip. "What'd you put in here?"

"extra cream, brown sugar, and a little cinnamon. ya seemed like the sweet tooth type. oh, and there's just a little bit of monster magic in there. should help with the hangover." You took another sip, then began stammering.

"I, um... thank you. I... sorry, I've... I've never had a... a one night stand before.... I'm not entirely sure how these go. And I'm really sorry, I mean, I'm not the type to even have a one night stand, and I'm just really sorry about it—"

"don't worry about it," he assured you. "here, lemme make ya some cereal or something.i _cereal_ -ously don't mind."

You giggled, then smiled at him thankfully, and released a sigh.

"Thank you."

~

You were scarfing down cereal rather quickly, sitting across from a calm Sans.

Man, you were exhausted— he drained you.

"h-hey, i was, uh," he stuttered. "i wanted to... to apologize for last night." You looked up at him, and immediately flushed a bright red.

"No, no, no, I should be apologizing to you," you stopped him, making him look at you with a confused face. "I got really drunk, and I just got out of a relationship—"

"i know," he interrupted you. "that's why i wanted to apologize. ya weren't ready for a one night stand, and i'm really sorry that it happened. and i'm..." He mumbled something after that you couldn't make out.

"I'm sorry, what?" You asked, swallowing another bite of cereal to ask.

"i'm sorry..." he mumbled off some gibberish that you didn't understand again.

"Could you repeat that one more time?"

"i'm sorry for being so rough with ya," he finally murmured out, just loud enough for you to hear. If you could turn a brighter red, you were sure you did.

"It's... just, um... don't worry about it," you stammered out.

_Being pinned down, bitten at. He was fondling with your breasts, going down every so often to bite and lick at your sensitive nipples._

_He rammed into you, making you choke on your breath. When he thrusted again, you were only able to scream out his name in pleasure, but no real words were escaping your lips except his name._

"It's... It's fine."

"no, it's really not fine, i was practically feral and i really shouldn't have—"

"I said don't worry about it."

He flinched at the sudden harsh tone you used, but he didn't say anything. Instant guilt washed through you, and you started to apologize.

"Sans, I'm so sorry—"

"it's fine."

You didn't talk much after that. 

You thanked him again for the painkillers, the coffee, and the cereal, and told him you were going to leave.

"well, hey, lemme give ya a ride.ya don't have a car and there are some sketchy strangers around this part."

You shook your head, not wanting to burden him any more.

"Oh, no, I couldn't do that, you've already done so much, and this would just be rude of me," you assured him."I'll be fine."

"no, really, ya probably need a ride.please just let me give ya a ride." He was looking at you pleadingly, like he was scared for your well being.

_Kinda sweet._

"Sans, I swear it's fine.I'll just head back now."

"sweetheart, please, just lemme help—"

"I'm sorry, but, don't call me sweetheart."

Sans' cheeks tinted a soft blue.

"oh, god, i'm sorry, i sorta do that subconsciously."

You furrowed your brows.

"Um, how many girls have you taken home before?If you don't mind my asking?" You were completely turned towards him.

His blue cheeks darkened.

He stayed silent.

Your mouth dropped open, and disgust twisted into your features.

"Oh, my god!I was just another girl that you've taken home!" You groaned in frustration.

"no, wait, (y/n), i'm sorry!"

"Save it, Sans.I'm going home."

"(y/n)!" But you had already left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw...  
> sans is kind of a hoe...  
> but don’t worry! he’s sorry :)


	3. Rough Encounters

You sped walk down the road, immediately letting your mind roam to all the idiotic things you did.

_You drank bourbon?_

_You haven't had bourbon since your dad died._

**I don't want to think about it.**

_Fucking Hell, you made yourself think about it.Don't do stupid shit like that.Bourbon gets you drunk faster than anything else._

**I know!Cut me some slack!**

_Not just bourbon, but you had a one night stand?_

_You've only ever had sex with Henry!_

**I know!**

You couldn't help but think of Henry and what he'd say.

He'd be really forgiving.

When you weren't dating.

He'd be helping you through it, although, you'd still have to get through a rough talk with him about responsibilities and everything.

But _he_ was the _cause_.

And _he_ cheated on _you_.

You just wanted to get home.

God, but you couldn't speed walk for much longer. Your sore legs were already starting to hurt again.

_Slaps of flesh against bone filled the room. You screamed out in pleasure as Sans continued rutting into you like a crazed animal. His pelvic bone was kinda hurting you with the force he used, and you were 90% sure you'd have a large bruise, but God, the sex was just way too good._

You slowed down your pace, taking a leisurely stroll down the sidewalk.

Wait, what was the time?

Groaning in frustration, you shoved your dead phone back in your pocket.

_You sort of wished you had taken a ride from Sans._

**No you don't!**

_Yeah you do._

You groaned inwardly.

You continued walking down the strange road, and gaining some attention from strange people.

Maybe it actually was pretty sketchy here?

You felt your lungs tighten. You could breathe, but it was getting harder.

You kept your eyes trained on the pavement ahead of you, still looking for any signs of familiar territory.

_This was such a stupid idea._

_Oh, god, you were gonna get lost forever._

You subconsciously started scratching at your forearm, a tick you had developed at a young age, and something you were trying to stop.

You realized you were scratching when an annoying pain raced up your arm.

Immediately, you stopped, and kept glancing around to find any spots you might've known.

No such luck.

Thankfully, after only a minute, you gathered up the courage to ask a stranger what the time was.

They told you, and sympathized with your dead phone, saying they could let you borrow theirs.

Again, your anxiety decided to kick you in the ass, and you declined politely.

_Idiotic move- you have no ride and you're lost!_

**At least you know it's 12:54.**

_Holy shit, how much did Sans wear you out? Was the sex_ that _tiring?_

**Shut up about the amazing sex!**

_I never said it was amazing._

**We're the same god damn person.**

_And you're arguing with yourself._

You screamed at yourself in your mind, staying silent on the exterior.

Oh, god, you hated being alone.

You hated listening to yourself.

_Well, you're an idiot, so it makes sense._

**Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!**

A biting pain clawed into your forearm, for you had begun to scratch yourself again.

You needed to talk to someone.

"Hey, there, little lady~" When you were about to try and avoid that voice, you felt a hand squeeze your behind, and your anxiety kicked it up to 1000.

You froze. What the hell were you supposed to do?

_Oh, god you're going to get raped!_

**Please stay calm!**

You wanted to tell them to get away.

You wanted to.

"Come with me for a good time, yeah?~" You felt his hand leave your rear, but your microscopic moment of relief vanished as quick as it arrived when you felt squeezes on both of your breasts.

"P-Please get away from me," you mumbled, shoving yourself sloppily out of his grip.You started to hurry away from him, but you didn't get so far as a foot. 

He held a tight grasp on your wrist, which you were struggling to rid from your skin.

"It wasn't a question, bitch," he snapped."Now get over here."

_Where was your voice?_

_Come on, (Y/N), yell!Do something!_

You froze, absolutely petrified.The fear of being raped was so astounding in your mind that you couldn't even move.

You gained back some control when you struggled to release from his grip.

The man was pulling you towards an alleyway, a dimmed place considering not much sun could reach inside of it.

"hey, leave her alone," a baritone voice said."she's obviously not having a good time." You sort of recognized that voice.Who was that again?

"Shut up!She's having a great time," he growled, trying to yank your smaller body into his frame.You couldn't see the face of the person who intervened, but you were thankful that they knew you were scared and uncomfortable. 

"G-Get away from me!" You yelped.Your hands were pressed against his chest as you writhed in his grasp.

"uh, no, she isn't."

You felt a force pull the creep off of you, and you saw a blue hoodie with basketball shorts and pink slippers shove him away.

_Sans!Oh, thank god!_

**That guy is a dick!What are you talking about?**

_He's_ saving _you— what are_ you _talking about?_

"don't touch her," Sans told him, standing like a barrier between you and that harasser.

"She ain't yours!I can do whatever I want with her!" He argued, sending a punch to Sans, which he dodged quite easily.

"back off, asshole." Sans held his hands up, still standing like a wall to protect you.

_Kinda sweet._

The jerk sent another punch to him, and again, Sans dodged it.

"calm down," Sans told him sternly.After the guy growled like a freak at him, and threw another punch (which Sans dodged, yet again), Sans grabbed the guy by his shirt and used his momentum to throw him away from you.He didn't use enough force to make him fall over, but enough to distract him.

"(y/n), get in the car," Sans told you quickly, gesturing to the red convertible parked on the street.He lightly placed a hand on your shoulder to direct you towards the car protectively.

You shrugged his hand off you, and sent him a glare.

"I'm not getting in your car," you told him.

_Oh, god, you're so stupid._

**He's an asshole!**

_You just got harassed!At like 1 pm!These streets are dangerous even in daylight!_

"(y/n), i swear ya not safe here, and i know ya lost, so please just get ya head out of ya ass and get in the car!" The urgency in his tone obviously replaced the filter.

"I'm not safe around _you_!" You protested, glaring at him again.Before he could argue, you felt a hard yank on your hair.

You were pulled away from Sans and into the arms of the same jerk that assaulted you in the first place.He groped at you again, squeezing your ass like he did the first time.Your breath hitched in your throat, and you messily tried to shove him away.

"i said **don't touch her!** " You heard a sharp crack, and the stranger yelp out in pain.When you turned around, Sans had his first curled, and the creep had stumbled back with his hands covering his nose.

"Ah, shit!"

"please, (y/n), get in the car, i'll be there in a sec—"

"Fucking bastard!I'll kill ya!Ya broke my fucking nose!" He was staring at Sans with a heaving chest, crimson blood dripping from his nostrils.It was scary.Honestly scary.And you had woken up not even two hours ago.

He charged at him, and Sans dodged another punch, and sent one to the guy's gut.

"get in the damn car!" he yelled at you while throwing the guy away from the car.

_Get in the fucking car!_

**Oh, please be okay, Sans!**

You hastily opened the car door and jumped in, terrified of what might've happened had Sans not been there.

"I'll kill ya, and then I'll kill that bitch in ya car!" The man barked.

" **you won't lay a fucking finger on her!** "

They were wrestling.

And Sans was horribly winning.By far.

He laid punch after grueling punch into the psycho's kidney and gut.When the man was hardly babbling out threats that were unintelligible (and spitting uncontrollably), Sans threw him towards the alley he was attempting to pull you into, and the man made no effort to fight against it.

Sans quickly rushed to the driver's side of the car, pulled his keys out, and started it as fast as he could.The tires screeched against the road as Sans drove off in the direction that you had come from.

Sans finally let out a sigh after you had been in the car for a minute.

You weren't looking at him.

_You should thank him._

**For what?Taking you home like any other girl he's done before?**

_He beat someone up for you._

**...**

"listen, (y/n)—"

"Thank you."

It surprised you that the words left your mouth, but you didn't stop them. You stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for him to respond.

"oh, god, please don't thank me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sans feels bad :(


	4. Apologizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone is so apologetic :/

His response completely threw you off guard, and you turned to him with a confused scowl.

"You beat someone up for me," you spoke slowly, as if maybe the words hadn't sunk in to him yet. "He sexually assaulted me and you beat him up— I'm sorry, do you _not_ understand what you did?"

He chuckled at your taunting tone, and shook his head.

"the guy was a huge dick. he was probably overcompensating," he chuckled lightly. You smiled at the foul humor.

You always were a fan of inappropriate humor.

"but i swear i'm not... ya shouldn't be thanking me, swee— (y/n)," he stumbled. "i'm really sorry for last night, and i'm also sorry for telling you to get your head out of your ass.i probably haven't brought as many girls home as you think, but it was a fucking asshole move of mine.i've been the biggest jerk to ya, and i totally understand if ya never want to see me again."

You practically flinched at the bluntness of what he was saying.

"Whoa, slow down," you told him."I never said that.I'm just a little upset at you.I appreciate the apology, but I'm just... not sure I'm ready to see you for a... just a little while."

You sighed, and ran a hand over your face.

"I'm sorry, I'm not usually this forward, and I'm kind of nervous right now." A smile crossed your face, and a light giggle escaped you."And that was really badass of you to kick that guy's ass."

He laughed, and his sockets widened with his grin, like he was about to defend himself.

"that guy totally deserved it!are ya kidding?wish i broke his arm too!" You giggled at him again, the protective nature of him only making you laugh.

_Henry was protective._

**Henry wouldn't have beaten that guy up for you.**

_He probably would've._

You laughter soon died out, and you quieted down.

_It doesn't matter, though, does it?_

_He's not going to protect you ever again.He's off with what's-her-face, and he doesn't care for you anymore._

**I just want to talk to him.**

_I know._

**Why'd he cheat on me?**

_I don't know._

**This isn't fair.**

**We were happy.**

**We're never happy.**

_I know._

_But you can't talk to him._

**Why not?**

_You'll go running back into his arms._

**Why is that such a bad thing?**

_Because he doesn't love you._

_If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you._

"—i'm so sorry, if i did something again, or if i said something... oh god, please, (y/n), just please say something, please, i'm so sorry."

You blinked yourself back into reality.

The reality in which you were helplessly crying, and not responding to Sans' pleas for your attention.

You hastily wiped your tears away, immediate guilt and embarrassment washing through you like a drug.

"I'm... This is so embarrassing... I'm sorry, I was just... um... tuned out... I guess," you apologized profusely, drying your tears."I promise, Sans, it was nothing you did.I was just... thinking about... about my ex."

Your eyes moistened again.

Were breakups always this hard?

_It was three years.You're in love with Henry.It's going to be hard._

You sniffled, and wiped your eyes again.

"Gah, sorry," you repeated, clearing the lump rising in your throat."I'm on day two: crying sporadically and craving ice cream."

"i think i've been half broken up with," Sans said."i'm craving ice cream."

You chuckled out a thick giggle, and wiped your drying eyes one last time.

"and i'm gonna be completely honest," he briefed you."i have no clue where ya live, so i've sorta been driving around aimlessly."

You snorted again, and started laughing like an idiot.It was your favorite kind of laughter.Stupid laughter.

"Okay, well, numbskull, I just live near Muffet's, and I'll help you out from there."

"sounds like a plan," he winked.

~

You hopped out of his car and walked around so you were facing him in the driver's seat.

"Thank you so much for the ride. And thanks for getting rid of that garbage person," you smiled gratefully. Sans shrugged it off.

"was just taking out the trash, sweet tooth," he grinned.On the ride, you had briefly talked about Muffet's, and you mentioned that because of your regular attendance at her establishment, you got many discounts.Muffet really was just a sweet spider that wanted to help out her spider friends.That, and an amazing baker.

You smiled at him, and felt a light blush taint your cheeks.Definitely unnoticeable though.

"Is that my name now?" you teased with a widening smile.He hummed in faux thought, then turned back to you with his grin and nodded.

"afraid so, sweet tooth," he winked.You giggled again, and smirked at him as you walked towards the door.

"Alright then, slippers," you winked back.Sans laughed, and turned a light blue with a small wince. "It was gonna come up at some point!"

"was hoping ya didn't notice," he chuckled.You laughed again, and waved bye.

As you watched him drive off in his convertible, a satisfied sigh blew from your lungs, and your contented smile stayed put.

You turned around, head facing the ground, and bottom lip rolled behind your teeth.

_You clicked with him really well._

**Yeah, he was really sweet.**

_And you both apologized like seventy times to each other._

**I was nervous.**

_Shut up, you're always nervous._

**Because of you!**

_Sounds like a whole lotta 'you problem'._

Lady Anxiety was quite ruthless to you, and you regularly had like 30 conversations with her daily.

Not like you wanted to.

That voice was just horrible to you.

She hated you.

_Can you blame me?_

**Not... Not really.**

_Exactly_.

Your smile was basically gone, but thankfully, you were reminded of those stupid puns Sans told you, and it twinged your lip up just barely.

You unlocked your door, and stepped inside your apartment. It was quiet, except for the light noise of feet, and dread quickly invaded your heart.

"Someone here?" You asked, hoping you were wrong about your gut instinct.

But you were right.

Henry walked out from around a wall in the next room, and you couldn't even find the strength to look him in the face. Your eyes, glued to the wall, kept a cold and betrayed look.

"Why are you here?" You seethed. The words already brought a twinge to your eye, never wanting to feel that much hate in your heart for the man you loved so dearly.

"Where were you?"

Your expression turned into a sour scowl, and you crossed your arms over your front.

"Was that a joke?" You asked him, raging nerves biting at your tone."You fucked my coworker in our bed, after three fucking years, and you have the balls to ask me where I was?"

He didn't respond, but instead eyed you up and down.

"What?" You asked him, accidentally clawing at your arm again.

"You look like sex."

You burned a hot red, eyes staring disbelievingly into his at his bold accusation.

_How did he know?_

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You snapped at him. He didn't flinch. "Get out."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't deny it," he remarked. "You hooked up with someone, didn't you?"

Your eyes shifted between his, your blush kicking it up a notch. 

_Maybe you shouldn't have had a fucking one night stand._

**We can't tell him that!**

"N-No!" you protested. "Of course I didn't! Not that it would matter, because we're through. So, like I said before, get out."

You were thankful that Lady Anxiety let you at least argue that point across.

_Liar_.

_You did have a one night stand._

**You almost made me blow it. It totally sounded like a lie.**

_Because it was._

He didn't budge.

"It was with that guy that just dropped you off," he said bluntly. "You went to the bar, then went home with a stranger."

"That's not what happened—"

"Hypocritical, really," he commented, interrupting you. "You slept with someone within 24 hours of finding out I slept with Lina." Tears welled up in your eyes.

_You're just as bad as him_.

**No I'm not! I wouldn't have done that when we were together! Never!**

_But you did it the day you broke up._

You were viciously scratching at your arm, near drawing blood from your blemished skin. He sighed, and stared back into your hurt eyes.

"I was going to come here to apologize," he admitted, then started walking towards you.

_Get away, get away, get away, get away—_

**Hold me, hold me tight, hold me close—**

He walked right by you, opening the door, and turned back to you over his shoulder.

"But you've obviously moved on."

He walked out, and shut the door calmly behind him, leaving you more broken than before.

Silence.

Deafening silence invaded your ears, only interrupted by the lightest sound of a water drop hitting the wood floor.

Your breath sputtered out, hiccuping back unstably into your lungs as soft sobs bubbled out. Your lip quivered, and the irrationally heavy heartbreak set in.

The waterworks began, and hot, fat tears leaked off of your lashes.

**Fuck!**

**Everything is shit!**

You screamed at the closed door, emotions thick in your throat and welling out loudly.

You turned away from the door, recklessly rushing into the kitchen for the counter.

You stabled yourself, using your palms to slam against the surface, wobbly knees and weak breath wanting to make your body limp. It hurt the balls of your palms because of the force you used, but you didn't pay your pain any mind. You clenched your teeth tightly, seething breath hissing from the small spaces. Your vocal chords whined in rage, despair singing out with every breath.

Your whines grew louder, like whimpers of an injured animal, or hums of agony.

Salty drops rushed like rivers off your skin, no longer damned to your vision. Fuming, you coiled your palms into fists, shoving yourself off the counter and staring into material like it had wronged your family.

Without putting thought to mind, you used all and any effort you had left to punch the ledge of your counter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sans is sweet but also a douche but also he’s trying.
> 
> he has problems too.
> 
> he jus need some lovin.


	5. Hospital Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you meet dr. alphys!!!! :)

"Is there any pain? Throbbing? Stinging? Burning, maybe?" The nurse questioned you, looking intently into your eyes. You nodded, and went on to explain.

"It's throbbing where it's broken, but it was way worse when I first got it. It was just like a lot of pain, like a weight had dropped on it. Like a ton of pressure, or something." You looked down to your bandages that had tinted a soft pink with a blood.

"So, how did this happen?"

You fumbled for any string of lies to tell the nurse that wasn't you punched your counter.

"I, um, I..." Your voice trailed off, and you glanced down to your bandaged hand, which had been swelling like a balloon around your broken knuckles."I smashed my hand with a hammer."

_You really just fucking lied to a nurse._

**THEYKNOWILIEDTHEYKNOWILIED**

The nurse looked at you, obviously skeptical.Their narrowed eyes and furrowed brows bore into your pupils, and they didn't type anything on their computer.

"A hammer?" He asked, obviously disbelieving."I don't mean to press, but your wounds would've had to have taken several blows by a hammer to have the number of broken bones you have." He sighed, and pushed his glasses up to figure his eyes.

"Did you really break your hand with a hammer?" He inquired again, staring deeply into your eyes.

You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you tried to speak.

When your hand went to scratch your arm, it got cut short by the intense tightening of your muscles in your hand.

"I-I-I swear it was a hammer! I a-accidentally hit my hand, and then I... dr-dropped the hammer on my hand again." Your lies sounded so easy to debunk, as there probably wouldn't have been nearly enough force from dropping it to break another knuckle.

But the nurse only stared into you, as if pulling you apart by your vital strings.

"Okay," he finally said after you stayed quiet. "Doctor Alphys will be in shortly to help the broken bones." You breathed a sigh of relief as the nurse stood up to leave, but your worry immediately returned when he halted in the doorway.

"By the way—" he gave you a knowing look— "You should get better at lying." You burned a bright red, akin to a tomato at his accusation. He left the room briskly, and you were alone with your thoughts.

_First, a one night stand..._

**Let that go, it was a mistake—**

_Second, you punch your marble counter..._

**I was upset—!**

_Third, you lie to a nurse..._

_Will you ever do the right thing?_

**Please stop...**

_You used Sans._

_You broke your hand._

_I'll stop when you stop being one big excuse._

**I didn't mean for this to happen!**

Pain scorched through your bandage when you tried to scratch your arm, the abuse of the injury only worsening it.

**I wish Henry was here.**

**I wish he didn't cheat on me.**

_But he did._

_And it was your fault._

**How in the fuck was this my fault?**

_You were boring._

_Someone wouldn't cheat if they were contented and happy with their partner._

**...**

_You're pathetic._

_Boring._

_Weak._

_Moron._

**I can't help it...**

_Worthless piece of shit._

_No one will ever love you._

**I know!**

You moved your bandaged hand around, trailing your vision up your forearm.Your other hand hesitated as it traced the faded white scars, bad memories flashing in your mind like small blasts of pain.

**Forget.**

**Forget.**

_Trying to forget got you into this mess._

**The scars...**

_They were your own fault._

You winced, and steered your vision clear of the old scars.

"Um, M-Miss (Y/N)?" A soft voice asked. You perked up, and noticed a yellow dinosaur monster that had entered the room. She was about your height, hardly an inch short.

"Oh! You must be Dr. Alphys?" You asked anxiously. The dinosaur smiled a timid smile, and nodded, pushing her glasses up against her face.

"Y-Yes, I am," she stuttered again. You wondered if it was a nervous tick or just a stutter she had. Either way, you didn't pay it mind. "I-I'm here to assess your brok-broken bones."

She sat down, and held her four-fingered, scaly palm out for you. You placed your bandaged hand in hers, staying quiet as she unwrapped the stained material.

Your hand looked gross, to say the least.

It was swelled where the bones broke, and the blood had dried all over your skin, which painted your hand a reddish pink while the swelling and bruising tainted it a bluish yellow.

"O-Oh my, and y-you said this was a ha-hammer that did this?" She lifted a couple fingers, analyzing the breaks amongst the knuckles. Wincing, you nodded, and made a small noise of affirmation.

Humming in thought, she let go of your hand, and scurried her way over to a computer.

"H-How did the hammer h-hi-hit your hand exactly?" She asked you, typing away at the keys. You felt your breath stammer at the question.

"I was just, um, hammering a nail, and I accidentally hit my hand with it, then I dropped the hammer and it hit my hand again." You attempted to use your old story, and your hopes soared when Alphys kept typing furiously.

Then she stopped.

"Wait," she paused. "Y-You said you dr-dropped the hammer on your hand a-again?" You nodded weakly.

"I-I-I'm sorry for pry-prying again, but I'm n-not entirely sure that w-would make sense." She turned her chair towards you, giving you an apologetic smile. "H-How would the hammer have dr-dropped on your hand if y-your hand wasn't un-under it?"

When you only stammered out fragments and blushed up an embarrassed storm, burning all the way up to your ears, Dr. Alphys smiled softly at you.

"Y-You didn't break your hand with a ha-hammer, did you?"

_Sympathetic, understanding._

She was making you feel horrible.

_Good_.

You sighed.

_Come clean, slut._

"No," you muttered. "My boyfriend cheated on me, and... and I got really mad, so I punched my counter."

"Ouch."

At her short response, you perked up. She turned a tomato red, completely contradicting to the bright golden scales you had been talking to.

She scratched her scalp nervously, and faced back towards her computer. You swore you saw a bead of sweat trickle down her scales.

It was quiet for a bit.

"S-So, when you p-p-punched your counter, w-was it immediate pain?" Her voice was meek again. You nodded.

It went silent again.

You looked over your bruised and broken hand again, trying to ignore the pressure in your knuckles.

Dr. Alphys sighed.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I-I get really nervous a-around people, a-a-and I don't know wha-what to say most o-of the time." She had stopped typing, but was still staring solemnly at the keys.

_Hey! She feels like you, fuck up!_

**Does she have anxiety?**

You felt a half-hearted smile cross your lips.

"Yeah," you said softly. "I get that, too. Don't worry about it." She was turned towards you, staring surprisedly into your eyes. She ended up smiling back at you, then turning back to her computer.

After another few minutes of silence while Dr. Alphys typed on the computer, she came back over to you.

"Okay, I-I just need a few me-measurements of your hand a-and wrist so that I can safely atta-attach a robotic stabil-stabilizer." She swiftly drew her measuring tape out a few times across your broken hand, then scurried back to her desk.

You were left a little confused and worried, but you didn't say anything.

In a little less than ten minutes, she came back over to you with a metal hand.

She had _made_ a metal hand for you in _a little less than ten minutes._

"S-So, this hand should connect to your wri-wrist, so that e-every movement you make will mi-minimize the amount of e-ef-effort you have to use."

You widened your eyes.

"And you just made that?" You were extremely interested in how quickly she did it. She giggled nervously, pushing the glasses on her face back up.

"O-Oh, it was n-n-no big deal," she scratched the back of her neck. "I-I've had to make it b-b-before, so I just re-remembered how to put it to-to-together."

You had a gaping mouth in awe, and you were just looking at her.

"That's so cool!" You squealed. "Sorry, I, um... That's just awesome!"

Dr. Alphys's scales shimmered a salmon's tone, and she laughed nervously while avoiding eye contact with you.

"O-Oh, th-tha-thanks!It's r-really easy to at-attach too!" She smiled pleasantly at you, obviously grateful for your gushing.

**But come on.**

**She made that in like ten minutes!**

**She's brilliant!**

She gently placed the metallic figure on your knuckles, which immediately adjusted and began glowing a soft yellow around where you had broken your bones.

You tried to straighten out your fingers carefully, and you were delightfully surprised when the contraption moved with you, easing you through the movement. 

You curled your fingers as much as you could, rendered, once again, baffled at how well the contraption was doing to help. Your pain had significantly decreased, and the machinery would glow a brighter yellow in the spots it seemed to be painful.

"Whoa," you breathed. "It doesn't hurt like at all." You turned your hand over, happy that it was working so well.

”O-Oh! Yes, it is using m-mo-monster magic so that it will heal ra-rather quickly,” she explained. “How-However, it isn’t as much magic a-as a normal monster has on ha-hand, so it’ll take a b-bit longer to he-heal.” 

“About how long will it take?” you asked her.

She hummed in thought, then gave you an iffy motion with her hand.

”Ro-Roughly a week,” she said. “S-So-Sorry it’ll take so long.”

Your mouth hung open. 

“Just a _week_?” You stared at the glowing hand again. “That’s so quick!”

Dr. Alphys blushed again, smiling nervously while avoiding eye contact. She fiddled with her thumbs, and it seemed she wasn’t able to wipe the smile from her face.

”O-Oh, th-tha-thank you!” She squeaked out. “I-If that was all you ne-needed then I can wri-write up the cost and sen-send you off.”

You thanked her again, adding in a few compliments here and there about her brilliance. She scampered out of the room to grab the paper she had typed up, leaving you alone for about a minute. 

_She’s so nice._

**Yeah, maybe we should hang out with her sometime?**

_Are you kidding me? You’re annoying. There’s no way she’ll want to hang out with you_.

**Maybe!**

When she entered the room again, you made a decision to ask her to coffee.

”H-Here’s the cost, and y-you can just take that to the fro-front,” she said. “It was s-so nice meeting you!”

She had on a bright smile, and it just killed you to see her so happy. You wished she would smile more. It really was a pretty smile. 

“Hey, Dr. Alphys?” You stood from your chair. “I was, um, wondering if you wanted to maybe get a coffee sometime?”

At that, she turned a shade that could give a tomato a run for its money.

”C-C-Coffee? Li-Like a date?” She stuttered out, then stammered on some mumbles that were definitely not English.

“Oh, no!” you corrected her. “Just as friends. I just really like talking to you.” Alphys sighed in relief, then nodded.

”S-Sure,” she agreed. “H-Here, I’ll give you my n-number.” She grabbed a pen from her desk and jotted a number onto a scrap of paper.

You thanked her again for everything, and left the hospital room. You looked at your hand which held the cost for the trip, and braced yourself for a $2,000 cost.

**Total cost: $350**

_What?_

_There’s no way this thing on your hand is anything short of $1,500!_

You checked over the paper again, looking to where she’d put the metallic support down as an extra thousand.

But it didn’t say it.

It only said that the treatment costed two hundred, and an extra 150 for the visit. You smiled happily, over the moon that it was hardly anything.

You couldn’t wait to thank Alphys in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alphys is so awkward and i fucking love her like a little sinful bean with her hentai and shit. but she’s so cute!!


	6. New Roommate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you need a roommate... and you’re scheduling interviews... who will you pick?  
> and you get a text!!!!!

You needed a roommate.

Your landlord had snarled angrily at you after waiting about five minutes of you rummaging through your wallet for every scrape of cash you could muster.

If you were going to be able to pay next month’s rent, you’d need to find someone else to help.

At that moment, you were scrolling through your three options for a new roommate, in hopes that you’d be able to decide right there.

Your first option was a twenty year old guy that was ‘in between jobs’, meaning he couldn’t pay the rent.

_Great_. 

Your second option was a twenty one year old college dropout that worked at a local grocery store.They could pay rent.

A _maybe_.

Your third option was a fish monster (whose age you didn’t know) that picked up a lot of little jobs, but focused on being a fitness trainer.

A _probably_. 

You had decided to call each of their numbers so that you could schedule a personal interview for each of them.You needed to meet them in real life.

First, was candidate #1: Neil. 

You dialed the number given on his profile, and pushed as much anxiety to the back of your mind when he picked up.

“Uh... hello?” A cracky and somewhat high-pitched voice answered.

“Hello!Is this Neil?”

It stayed quiet for a bit, then you heard what sounded like a yawn.

“Yeah,” he finally replied.“Who’s asking?”

“Oh, I’m (Y/N), and I saw your profile online looking for a roommate,” you explained.“I was wondering if you would be okay with coming to my place for an interview for it?”

The line drew silent again, void of any noise for a solid ten seconds.You thought he might’ve hung up.

“You mean like right now?”

You made a slightly frustrated face, and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“No,” you simply said, releasing the pinch.“I mean whenever is a convenient time for you, but weekdays are a no from me.” 

Again, a long silence.

“Is tomorrow at noon good?” He finally asked.You immediately accepted, remembering that would be Saturday.

“Yes!Tomorrow at noon is great!I’ll just check with the others and I’ll get back to you shortly.Thank you so much!”

He responded short and lazy, hanging up only a second later.You had a wide smile on your face, eagerly relieved to get such an easy answer.Tomorrow at noon.All you needed was the okay from the last two candidates.

And that brought you to candidate #2: Sophie.

You dialed the number, and after several rings, someone finally picked up.

“Who is this?” A sharp voice snapped.You flinched at the sudden and harsh tone that they used, but minded the fear to answer.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you, but I’m (Y/N), and I’m looking for Sophie?I saw your online profile and I was looking for a roommate.”

After a short second, you heard the other line audibly relax.

“Oh,” she muttered.“Sorry, I get a lot of wrong numbers.And yeah, this is Sophie.”

You breathed out some heavy nerves, finding a smile to cross your face.

“Oh, nice to meet you,” you greeted.“I was wondering if an interview would be alright with you?”

She hummed, and quickly replied, much to your liking.She was making this way easier than Neil.

“Sure,” she said.“When would it be?”

“Is tomorrow at around 1 alright with you?” You winced, almost knowing she would decline the date already.

“Yeah, I’m good for tomorrow,” she responded easily.“Heh, that’s lucky since my schedule is pretty packed.Got the one time I was available.”

You chuckled into the phone, practically making a ‘phew’ sound.

“That’s great!” You beamed.“Let me check with one more potential roommate, and I’ll get back to you shortly!”

You hung up after the both of you had said goodbye, and sighed with a large grin. 

“One more,” you whispered, scrolling through the website for the last number.

Final one, candidate #3: Undyne.

The phone rang once before someone picked up and practically yelled into the phone, shattering your ear drum.

“Hey there, stranger!” They bellowed.“What can I do ya for?” 

You flinched at their loud tone, but readied yourself to reply.

“H-Hello!Is this Undyne?” You asked. 

“You betcha!”

“Great!” you smiled.“I’m (Y/N), and I was looking at your profile online, and I’m in need of a roommate.Would tomorrow at 2 be good for an interview?” You winced again, nervous she’d say no to the date.

“Yeah, punk!Tomorrow sounds great!” She agreed.You chuckled out a grin.

“That’s awesome!” You found her enthusiasm contagious.“I’ll get back to you shortly on the whereabouts of the interview.Thank you so much!”

“No problem, punk!See ya then!”

You hung up. 

That was way easier than you expected.

Like way easier.

You sighed, running an exhausted hand down your face.

It was 5:52 P.M., and you were spent from the chaotic week you’d had. Not to mention, not seeing Henry was new. You had gotten used to waking up to his sleepy face in the morning. He was always so peaceful.

”Nope,” you cut your thoughts as soon as you realized you were reminiscing. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Can’t do that anymore. Can’t think about him.” You whacked your head with your palm, hoping that your attempt would throw yourself off.

However, your mind was soon thrown off its rails when you got an unexpected text.

**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : _hey_

You stared at the notification, wondering who it could’ve been. Maybe a wrong number? That would be ironic considering Sophie had just mentioned wrong numbers, and they don’t happen to you all that often. You dig into your memory for anyone that might’ve gotten your number.

_Sans_.

**We gave him our number.**

_Was it him?_

You typed up a reply.

**sweet tooth** : _hey, don’t know this number. who‘s this?_

You noticed the name for your contact, and immediately typed up another reply.

**sweet tooth** : _nvm, i think i just figured it out, sans :)_

**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : _heh u got me_

You changed his contact so it wasn’t just a random number.

**slippers** : _so i was wondering if you wanted to meet at grillby's for a drink or two?_

**slippers** _: pfft nice contact for me_

You smiled at the screen, and bit the inside of your cheek.

**It wouldn’t hurt to grab a drink with him.**

_Yeah, might be fun._

_Surprised he even wanted to hang out with you though._

**Yeah, but hey, we miss his puns. And his consoling warmth. And his face. And his hands. And his d—**

_Whoa. Chill out and take your head out of the gutter. What the hell was that?_

You flinched at yourself.

**Holy shit. What _was_ that?**

_There’s no way you missed his... his... his thing that much._

**Yeah, but that night... It was one of the best nights you’d ever had. You had never felt so... so... wrecked. So... dominated.**

_Okay, stop. What the hell?_

**I don’t know!**

**sweet tooth** : _sure! a drink sounds good... this week’s been kicking my ass :P_

**slippers** : _that sucks :/ wanna talk about it at grillby’s?_

**sweet tooth** : _i’ll beatcha there ;)_

**slippers** : _if i win, ur buying first round_

**sweet tooth** : _ur on!_

You slammed your laptop shut, grabbed your phone, and sloppily rushed out of your apartment. You stumbled down the staircase, giggling childishly on the way down. Your purse was loosely slung around your shoulder, and your hair was in a mess since you didn’t have much time to get ready.

Rushing to the bus stop down the street, you rifled through your wallet for some cash to pay the bus driver.

You pulled a ten out, and grinned excitedly, wanting to beat him. You checked your phone to see if the bus would come soon.

5:58 P.M.

Uh oh.

This would cut it close.

You broke into a faster jog, shoving your phone into your purse pocket so you wouldn’t drop it.

You were so gonna beat Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to rewrite this chapter three damn times so i hope it came out okay and not rushed or sloppy. i got really angry on the last time, so i hope the quality didn’t diminish.  
> also, every single one of your comments makes me so happy you guys don’t even know! it’s the best feeling to see your feedback, so don’t be afraid to comment! i love them!! <3


	7. Small Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you meet up with sans!  
> again- my shitty thing is deleting chapters so ill write quite the bit and then it goes in the dump :/ i hope this chapter isn’t crappy!! and i hope i made it natural enough.

Sans was riding his motorcycle to his flame friend’s bar, going over a million times in his head about whether it’d be weird or not to meet the person you hooked up with one time and haven’t talked to since.Thankfully, the morning after ended on a good note, but Sans was so nervous he’d never talk to you again.When you actually answered his texts and agreed to come, well, Sans had a smile he was sure wouldn’t fall off.

When he first met you, he took it upon himself to cheer you up.He wasn’t really sure why, but seeing you so miserable just made his SOUL ache.As a comedian of a Saturday show, although he loved puns, he wanted to make you laugh.He wanted to distract you from your problems.

But he didn’t mean for it to turn into a one night stand.

That was the worst case.

Sans had a great time talking to you, and he wanted to befriend you.He wanted to have you as a friend.He did not want to fuck you the first night you met. 

_just like you did those other girls when you were bored.except those were on purpose._

**i wasn’t bored with (y/n)...**

Sans would be lying if he said he wasn’t immediately attracted to you.You had this glowing thing about you... he couldn’t quite pin it.But, he did know that he thoroughly enjoyed chatting up with you.When you returned the puns he had thrown at you, and then made him choke on his ketchup, Sans knew he’d love getting to know you more.

Then you kissed.Sans hadn’t exactly meant for that to occur, since he didn’t think his pickup line idea would work.

Then that eventually led to fucking you senseless. 

Sans knew it was a bad thing that he was doing it.He knew it.He shouldn’t have.

But it was impossible to convince his drunken self to get off you when you were just so irresistible.

You had your hand on his thigh, and that was enough to stir up the magic in his pants.And when he got a taste of you with his tongue, that was all he needed to lose control. 

The last few days, he had been rather... tired.His mind had trailed back to you once or twice, and he had wanted to talk to you again.

But he didn’t have the balls to ask.

After mustering up as much courage as he could manage, he sent you a text.

He just wanted to see you again, if he was honest.He missed your giggle, your sweet smile, your cute figure, your sense of humor, and your throaty moans that he had yanked from you that night—

_nope!that’s a nope!sans, you sound like a fucking creep!_

**i didn’t even realize i said that—!**

_yeah well don’t you go fucking this up like you do every other thing in your life._

Oh, yeah.Sans had anxiety. 

All he had to do was shut his nerves up while he talked to you, which was going to be impossible.So he’d just have to deal with it.

He hadn’t noticed the amount of time he’d spent thinking to himself when he came across Grillby’s bar.Inconveniently, he parked his motorcycle nowhere near the entrance, and thus had to walk for a bit.

Sans had decided to give you a fair fight for who would end up buying first round, and decided not to just teleport.And anyways, teleporting drained him of most of his magic, and he couldn’t be tired for his little lady.

_wait what._

_where in the hell did that come from?_

**i don’t even know!**

**what was that?**

_well, get your god damn head out of the gutter and don’t screw this up._

_she’s not yours, so don’t go acting like she is._

~~~~~~~~~~

You were tuning in to some 90’s rock from your earbuds, and, at that moment, you were listening to Say It Ain’t So by Weezer. The chorus came on, and you started humming quietly along. 

Then your thoughts wandered.

That never was a good thing.

Would it be weird to meet up with someone that you had fucked within three hours of knowing them?

No, just don’t make it weird.

After all, you and Sans had clicked well, and you’d want him as a friend nonetheless. 

And you had started to miss him.You missed his puns, that stupid grin, his oddly deep yet smooth voice, his glowing tongue, his huge di—

_Whoa!Slow down, reel back._

_You can’t go thinking like that._

**Let's take a breather and calm down.**

You turned up the volume on your headphones, ignoring the rest of your odd thoughts while you sat on the bus.

~~~~~~~~~~

You had arrived at the bus stop that was close to Grillby’s, and you thanked the bus driver for the ride.Your feet landed on the hard pavement with a slap, and you sped walk in the direction you knew Grillby’s was.The cool air of the approaching night slithered around your bare arms, hugging them in layers of goosebumps.

You were bopping your head to the beat of your music, ignoring everyone else that was walking on the sidewalk near you.It was just easier that way.Because that way, you didn’t have to awkwardly look at people and do a half wave or force a smile.You could just stay in your own little bubble and leave them in their’s.

You noticed a glowing sign in the near distance that read Grillby’s Bar and Grill, and a small smile crossed your face.You picked up your pace, breaking into a quick speed walk in hopes he hadn’t already won.The sign drew closer, and your smile grew wider.

You turned into the parking lot, noticing it had a few cars parked around, and you hoped none of them belonged to Sans.Your speed walk turned into a staggered jog, going back to a walk every so often.

Finally, you reached the doors to the place, and you were greeted with the warmth of the inside.It smelled of comfort and fries, which was one of the best smells in your opinion.

You waved to Grillby, who gave you a nod of acknowledgement in return.You did a quick glance around the bar, and noticed there wasn’t a Sans in sight.

Breathing a victorious laugh, you took a seat at the bar.You had beat him!He owed you a drink, and you had picked up a menu to see which drink you wanted to buy for free.

You noticed one that was called ‘Night Sky’ and in the description, it read ‘Contains vodka, monster magic, crystal sugar.Stir until given galaxy effect.’ 

You scanned for any other drinks that would catch your eye, but that one seemed to stick.You decided to order that one when Sans arrived.

“how’s it going there, sweet tooth?” You heard a familiarly low voice muse in your ear.Your neck hairs stood on end, and you had to bite your lip to cover a shiver when his warm breath hit your skin.

**Whoa, that was weird.Just calm down.**

“Just checking out what drink I want you to buy me,” you winked at him.He smiled at you, and took the seat on your left.

“which one did ya have your eye on?” he asked, looking at the menu in your hands.You pointed with your uninjured hand at the one that said ‘Night Sky’, and beamed at him.

“I love galaxy shit,” you gushed, feeling your eyes sparkle just at the mention.“The stars, the sky, the colors— everything about it is just so beautiful.” 

Your thoughts wandered back to a time when you lived somewhere less known with your family.It was you, your dad, your mom, and your little brother.Your dad had gotten you hooked on astronomy, and took you up to a little lookout to stare at the stars on a clear night.It was gorgeous, and stars had fascinated you ever since.

“yeah, i’m a pretty big fan of space myself,” Sans shrugged.“if ya really like it as much as your saying, then that drink’s perfect for ya.”

You grinned like a child, thoroughly excited about this new drink.Sans beckoned the flame bartender, who was washing a glass with a dish towel, over with a small wave.

When he was standing in front of you, ready for your order, you gulped, and smiled a nervous smile.Your nerves fluttered in your belly, and you used your healing hand to point at the menu.

“Can I have a Night Sky please?” Your timid voice added to your anxious expression, but Grillby didn’t notice, and only nodded.

“yeah, i’ll take one of those too,” Sans said nonchalantly.“put ‘em on my tab, grillbz?” The way Sans said it made it seem like he was almost asking “for old times’ sake”, but he didn’t say the words.Though, Grillby’s reaction made it seem like it was for something they had done before.He sighed, yet there was something humorous about the way he did it.Like he was smiling.

He chuckled, and walked back to the bar area.

You put the menu away, using the hand with the machine on it to do it.After you had set the menu down, a cold grip on your forearm made you flinch.You looked up to Sans, who was staring at the contraption that was glowing faint yellow around your knuckles.

“did something happen?” His voice, deep and serious, asked you, staring into your eyes.

You yanked your hand from his grip, looking at him with a timid face.

“Please don’t grab me like that,” you told him, holding your hand close to your chest.“And it was nothing, I just... hit it with a... a hammer.”

Sans was gazing into your eyes; his dimming eye lights were making you nervous.With a want to leave the subject, you scratched your arm and shifted your vision like you always did.

“C... Can we drop it now?” You looked at him with a slight wince, knowing he wanted to continue with it.

Thankfully, he didn’t.Instead, he shrugged, and turned back from you.

“sure, i’ll drop it.”

Well, it was way too quiet after that.Not a single word passed between the two of you, and you were too busy clenching and unclenching your fist to try to spark another conversation.

Great.It was awkward.

The horrible, deafening quiet was snapped by two clacks on the counter of glass.Grillby was standing there, having just set the drinks down.He gave you both a salutational nod, and briskly walked off.

You stared at the drink in front of you, mesmerized by the strange blackness that filled the fancy glass, with a weird layer of bright blue and purple hues blending at the top. 

There was a small metal stick that was sitting in each of your drinks, obviously for the stirring.You stirred it lightly, still staring intently at the dark drink in front of you.Soon enough, the top layer of the drink swirled into the dark liquid beneath it.

Oh, it was _magical_.

The blue and purple made intricate yet random designs in the black, and the sugar crystals stood out like little stars inside.Surprisingly, stirring the blue and purple didn’t make it mix, for the colors only danced around each other.It looked just like a starry sky on a cloudless night.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sans felt guilty that he got overly protective about your injury, but the fact that he didn’t know how it happened only worsened his concern.He didn’t even know you that well.He just... Why did he have an urge to protect you then?

He turned away from the thought, staying quiet.

But when you got that drink...

And when you made those adorable starry eyes at the starry sugars...

Sans couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

_what is this?_

_dammit, ya can’t act like this after what ya’ve done._

Sans forced himself to look away from you, but every so often, he’d steal a glance from your awe-struck face.God, you just looked so adorable.

“This is amazing,” you whispered.Sans hadn’t even realized how long he’d been staring at you until you had said that.

“yeah,” he agreed, swirling his own drink.“grillbz is really good with his mixes.” Stealing another glance from you, Sans watched as your fingers traced the crystal sugars in the glass.

He couldn’t stop himself, so he just leaned close to your ear, and whispered, “ya know, sweet tooth, it might taste good, too.”

He noticed a shiver that snaked down your spine, and only chuckled.

“I know!” you protested, finally taking the magical glass into your hand.You swirled it once more, and took a sip.

~~~~~~~~~~

It tasted like literal magic.

The alcohol in the drink was noticeable, but not overbearing, and it slid down your throat so easily.The sugar in the drink added to it, and it was sweet enough to hook you, but it also had a slithery bitterness that made it incredible.

“Holy shit, that’s good,” you said almost immediately.You took another long sip from the drink, and then set it down on the counter.

“i guess ya could say it’s out of this world,” Sans grinned.You giggled, and shoved him playfully. 

“So, tell me,” you mused, sipping your drink once more.“How’ve you been since I last saw you?”

Sans shrugged, setting his own drink down to answer you.

“i’ve been good,” he said.“i mean, i’ve been bored, but it happens.just been kinda tired.” At his words, you found yourself sighing in sympathy.

“Yeah, I’ve been tired, too,” you responded.“Seems like ever since Henry cheated on me, I can’t find the motivation to do jack shit.” It wasn’t a lie.You had been going into work with hardly any energy, and the bags under your eyes were darker.You had been getting to sleep at the latest hours, finally shutting your eyes near 2 AM.

“oh, yeah,” Sans muttered.“how ya been holding up from that?” You wanted to raise your injury and say ‘obviously not good’, but you couldn’t do that.He wouldn’t care about your idiocy.

“I feel basically like shit,” you admitted.“It fucking sucks.Then he comes by the next day and doesn’t even apologize.” You had a scoff in your voice, yet you knew you still loved him.

“But,” you started.“I just... I’m so mad at him, and yet I’m still in love with him.” You swigged the beautiful drink, wanting to not mean your words.

“It’s stupid, right?” You were asking him, though it was directed more at yourself.“I should hate his guts.I should want to just... I shouldn’t want to get back with him.I shouldn’t miss him.Right?” You sighed, an apology waiting on your tongue.

“it’s okay,” Sans spoke before you got the chance.“breakups hurt like hell.having your heart ripped in two sucks ass, so ya shouldn’t feel so angry at yourself for missing your ex.excuse me if i overstep some boundaries, but loving someone takes time.when they tear that out from under you so easily, it’s tough to get back up.” Sans was empty-socketed, sending a grieving glower towards his sparkling glass.It was odd; you couldn’t exactly tell, but it seemed there was more than what he was letting on.

**He’s been through something.**

**What has he been through?**

“Sans?” you asked him in the softest tone you could muster, laying a gentle hand on him.“What’s going on in that big empty skull of yours?” You tried to lighten up his mood.His smile wasn’t the childishly genuine grin he always wore, it was a low dropping smile.As if it was bordering on a cold frown.And yet, it wouldn’t fall.It was so damn forced, but it wouldn’t give out.

Sans’ eye lights returned, though dimmed, and he stole a small glance from you before scratching at his neck.

“ah, ‘s nothing to worry about,” he shrugged off.“not yet at least.”

You were about to ask again when he cut you off.

”now let’s drink our shitty problems away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u like! each and every one of your damned comments makes me so fucking happy you guys don’t even know. i love hearing from you guys. constructive criticism is very much appreciated <3


	8. Drunk Out of Your Skull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> looks like someone has a little too much to drink... uh oh... and with all those interviews tomorrow??? what will you do??????? :0

“Obviously I had to kick him out,” you vented.“So now I’ve got three damn interviews tomorrow for people wanting to be my roommate.” You and Sans had been sharing problems, complaining about anything that was going on that made you fucking pissed.

Sans hummed in response to your anger, sympathizing with you by offering small notes of acknowledgement.

You took a hard drink from your rum and coke, downing the liquor at the thought of having to decide between some strangers.You had had several drinks, bordering drunk, definitely tipsy.

Usually, you didn’t like telling people about everything you’d go through.You hated knowing you were another burden on someone’s back for them to worry about, so it was easier to keep shit to yourself.But Sans asked you about how you were doing, and when everything flashed in your mind about the past week, you wanted to scream.So you agreed only if he’d tell you about the shit going on with him.If you were going to be a burden, you at least wanted to take some stress off his shoulders. 

“Okay,” you set your drink down.“Your turn.” Sans squeezed a bit of ketchup down the hatch, and shrugged.

”alright,” he set the bottle down to face you.“so i got a brother that wants me to stop being such a lazy bones, as he calls me, even though i’ve got like three side jobs and standup every saturday.” 

“Wait,” you paused him, immediately interested.“You do standup?” Sans’ sockets lost their pupils, and his face glowed the shade of blue gatorade.He embarrassedly chuckled into his hands which were covering his face.

”no,” he lied.“of course i don’t.i sit down.” His voice was muffled, but he was obviously lying.Very obviously lying.Except about the bad pun.You perked up with a gaping beam, shocked about it.

”No way!” You exclaimed. “That’s so cool!I’d love to see one of your gigs!Where do you perform?” You were smiling widely, eagerly excited to learn about his standup act.

”ya actually wanna see it?” Sans finally asked from behind his hands.“i’m not really good or anything... it’d probably be a waste of ya time.”

You giggled, and playfully nudged him.

”Are you kidding me?Hell yeah I want to see it!It sounds awesome!” Sans smiled with an embarrassed twinge at the corner of his mouth, scratching the back of his neck. 

“aw, ya flatter me, sweet tooth,” he grinned at you.“i mean, it’s not anything big... and i’m not very _pun_ -derful... but i like doin’ it at least.”He wasn’t looking into your eyes, obviously anxious about it.Trying your best to be supportive, you beamed at him again.

“It sounds great, and I’d love to see it.Where is it?” You took a small sip from your drink while he told you about it.

“just at that bar down the street.on the corner, y’know?i start at 6 every saturday.ya don’t have to come though.if ya can’t make it, don’t worry about it.”

You made a scoff noise.

“Like I’d miss it!” You winked at him.“I can’t wait.”

Sans gave you a surprised and appreciative smile, and you noticed a light blue tint his cheekbones.

**Cute**.

_What?!_

**Oh shut it, you know he’s cute.**

_You’re drunk._

**No, tipsy.**

_No, you were tipsy— now you’re drunk._

He faced towards the bar again, and you both took a sip from your drinks.

“‘kay, your turn,” he nudged you.You hummed.

“Well, Henry stopped by a few days ago,” you muttered with a strong eye roll.“Didn’t even fucking apologize.Swear to god, that asshole never gave a damn about me.” Your voice was singed with poison, eyes almost shattering your glass with the glare you were sending it.

“what happened?” Sans asked you quietly, seemingly not wanting to upset you.Unfortunately, you were pissed at Henry at that moment, and it fueled into a heated rant.

“Dickhead comes in and asks me where I was!He has the balls to act like I can’t be trusted when he fucking cheats on me!I shouldn’t be screaming about him like this, but, damn it, I just can’t believe him.” You beckoned Grillby for another double, losing the fear of embarrassing yourself to the alcohol heavy in your system.

“that wasn’t... the day i drove ya home... was it?” Sans winced.You sighed in response— almost comically.

“Yep,” you seethed between clenched teeth.“Bastard guessed what happened.He called me a goddamn hypocrite!Like I’d ever do what he did!” With a raised voice and a riled attitude, you grabbed the glass Grillby just served you and downed it all in one go.The burn of it felt like fire in your throat, and your features pinched together in a tight wince.

“Ugh, I got so mad at him that I punched my counter!I’m such an idiot!” You hissed. 

You froze. 

“wait, what?”

_Oh, shit._

“...” You couldn’t say anything.So you didn’t.You stayed silent.

“did ya say ya punched your counter?” His voice wasn’t light anymore.It wasn’t a soft, warm, comforting sound that made you want to spill your guts about every little fucked up part about you.

It was almost disbelieving.Betrayed.

_Hurt_.

“ya punched your counter, and ya lied to me about it, huh?” Sans asked slowly, and when you didn’t answer, he spoke again.“why did ya lie to me?” 

You stumbled around in your head for a sentence to get him off your back.What would you say?

“I just... I-I don’t know... I didn’t want... I didn’t... didn’t w-want...” Your voice trailed off as your cheeks turned beet red, guilt and anxiety eating you whole.

_Idiot._

_You lied to him._

_He was your friend and you lied to him._

“didn’t want what?” he snapped.Oh, god.He wasn’t happy anymore.

“I didn’t want you to... to worry.I’m sorry, but I’ve just... I’ve got so much going on, and I’ve already been so needy and annoying, a-a-and I just didn’t want to... I didn’t want to bother you anymore, I guess?Sorry, I’m just... I feel like I’ve already been so shitty to you—“

“hey,” Sans interrupted your rambling.“listen, (y/n), ’m sorry for making ya nervous.i was just worried about ya.” He brought his thumb up to your face, gently wiping away what you realized was a tear drop, but his thumb still lingered on your skin.It trailed down the side of your cheek, caressing your chin like a feather.When Sans finally snapped out of whatever trance he was in, he pulled his hand away in a flinch, and his pearly white bones colored into a light cerulean shade.

“it’s just that... i wanna help ya, sweet tooth.but i can’t help if ya keep every little thing to yourself.if ya don’t want to tell me something, don’t.i’m okay with that.just please don’t lie to me again.i want... i want ya to be okay.”

You nodded, staring into his eyes for longer than you realized.After his strange touch to your face— which you didn’t mind for some reason— you found yourself wanting more.

“Thanks, slippers,” you smiled half-heartedly.Sans gave you a more genuine grin, letting your nerves cool.“And it’s your turn.”

Sans hummed, and then made a face as if remembering something foul.

“my bro has this guy he likes, and i’m not the biggest fan of him,” he grumbled.Your eyes widened a little.You were familiar with the LGBT community, but it still made your heart all giddy when you heard about something new with it.

“Your brother is gay?” You bluntly asked, only them realizing how rude it sounded.

“I-I mean it’s good for him, and I think that’s pretty cool, honestly.Sorry, I don’t hear a lot about that stuff much.” Sans grinned at you, almost humorously.

“heh, yeah he is.sort of.he kinda likes everyone, so he doesn’t just like guys.and his... whatever the guy is... a robot.he’s a robot, and the robot is gay.flamboyantly gay.” Sans chuckled with you, but only then did his grin become slightly strained.“but that’s not the problem.the problem is that the robot my bro likes is... i don’t trust him.he always says he’s a star, and i’ve known enough about you humans’ celebrities to know that they aren’t all super selfless.i don’t want my li’l bro’s heart to break.”

You smiled at him sympathetically.

“That’s so cute,” you responded without thinking.

**Thank you, alcohol.**

Sans turned to you, obviously surprised, making you flinch at yourself.

“I-I mean— I didn’t mean to—!I didn’t mean it like that!I swear!—”

“pfft- heheheheh!”

He was _laughing_?

With such a contagious laugh of his, you found yourself letting loose a little, and joining in.

“sweet tooth, it’s all good,” he assured you.“don’t worry so much.” He patted you on the back, then checked his watch.

“holy shit,” Sans muttered.“it’s already two a.m.” Your eyes widened, and you finished your drink.

“I have interviews tomorrow!” You exclaimed.Dread set in to your system, like an alarm clock that didn’t have a snooze button.“Crap, I have to get home!”

You stood from your chair quickly— and quite recklessly— only to stumble over and nearly fall.

The only things that caught you were two big-boned arms hooking around your waist to stabilize you.

“careful there, sweet tooth,” he warned.“you’ve had a bit to drink.you’re in no condition to drive home.” His arms left you with a lingering sense of comfort, and a drizzle of disappointment with the lack of touch.

“I didn’t drive, I took the bus,” you told him.

“even worse.lemme drive ya home.my bike is just outside.”

You contemplated your options, though with the staining alcohol in your bloodstream, being near Sans for longer was the winning choice.

_Get a clear head.You are just friends, so take your head from out of the gutter._

**But he’s been so nice to us!**

“I guess,” you caved.“It wouldn’t hurt.”

Sans smiled, and you both made your way towards the exit.

“see ya grillbz!” Sans called.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Whoa,” you mumbled.“Your bike is really cool.” His motorcycle was a shiny black, only interrupted by a slick white stripe that followed the side.

“heh, thanks,” he grinned.“glad ya think so.” He swings a leg over the bike, settling on it comfortably.He waits for you to do the same, even going so far as to hold his hand out to you for assistance.

You eventually get seated, and just then did you realize how close the both of you were sat.Your front was flush against him, legs grazing the backs of his.It felt nice, for some odd reason, to be so close to him. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when Sans handed you a black helmet.

“here,” he offered.“keep your head safe, sweet tooth.” You plopped the helmet on your head, fastening the strap to keep it there.

“Thanks,” you said. 

“and unless ya want to fall, i suggest ya hold on to me.”

Thankful he couldn’t see your face, you blushed up a storm, as if your face was on fire.You wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging yourself close, but still trying to keep some distance.

“L-Like this?” Your voice came out meek and unsure, clearly as a result from being so close to the skeleton.

“yeah, that’s, um... th-that’s fine.”

Sans revved up the engine, causing it to roar.

“ya ready?”

_Probably not._

“Hell yeah!” 

You started moving, speeding out of the parking lot of Grillby’s and towards your house.

It looked really cool, if you were being honest.The street lights gave some illumination for the city you were riding through, but just enough to make out roads and others near you.

A chill rushed over your vulnerable skin, encasing you in the cold winter wind.You regretted not bringing a jacket, but your apartment wasn’t too far.You’d be fine.

Still in a drunken state, you laid your head on Sans’ back without any warning, and you let your eyes flutter with fatigue.

It was calming, weirdly enough.Sans felt like a big pillow underneath you, and he was so warm, too.You hadn’t noticed Sans’ subtle flinch when your head rested on his back. 

Eventually, Sans pulled up at your apartment, and the bike slowed to a stop.

Your arms reluctantly detached from your heat source, and hugged your torso in search of warmth.

You hopped off the bike, stumbling over your feet on the way down.

“Whoa,” you mumbled.“I feel kinda dizzy.”

“ya okay?” Sans asked you with a cautious grin.You nodded, unfastening the helmet from your head and handing it back to him. 

“I’m great,” you told him, turning around to trip over a curb.

You were caught before your face could connect with pavement— once again— in the arms of the skeletal friend you had made.

“i’ll help ya inside,” he said.You didn’t argue, and only continued to walk with him, ever so often coming close to tripping up again. 

You came up to your door, and fiddled with you keys in your pocket.Pulling them out, you scrambled them into the hole, and opened the door.

“Thank you,” you slurred barely.“That was so much fun.We should do it again some time!” Sans chuckled, and let out a yawn.

“no problem, sweet tooth,” he shrugged.“just glad ya had a good time.”

You shook the smile off your face when a realization hit your features.

“Oh, my god, what am I doing?” You muttered.“You should stay the night, Sans.It’s like 2 in the morning, and your house is kinda far.”

Sans waved it off as if it was nothing.

“nah, don’t worry about me,” he smiled.

You shook your head in denial.

“No, it’s late, and it would be very rude of me not to,” you grabbed his hand.“Come on, I don’t mind.”

You turned on some of the lights in your home, still holding onto Sans’ hand for some reason you weren’t sure of at that moment. 

“nice place,” he murmured.“but that doesn’t mean i have to stay.i can totally go back to my place, it’s no hassle.”

You refused immediately, insisting he stay the night for the sake of his safety and need for sleep.

“Honestly, I don’t mind at all,” you told him.“Do you need anything else before you go to sleep?” You led him to your room, kicking some small piles of clothes out of the way.

”nah, i’m good,” he yawned. “are ya... are ya sure it’s okay if i’m in your bed tonight?” You shrugged it off.

”I don’t mind at all. Make yourself comfortable.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You flopped in the bed next to Sans, pulling yourself under the covers for much needed warmth. You found it kind of strange that you were sharing a bed with someone you had slept with once and only hung out with once after that (this was that time), but you were a bit too drunk to care. Your cold and intoxicated brain also decided it was a good idea to scoot closer to him in an attempt to get warmer.

”Good night, slippers,” you murmured sleepily, letting your lids drop.

”good night, sweet tooth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love u all so much u don’t even know! writing this book has become a way to cope with my depression, although mild. i have had many days where i’m just so unmotivated... i can hardly get out of bed, food doesn’t taste good anymore yet i still eat, and i just stare at myself and cry... but every time you guys leave me comments, i get so overwhelmed with joy that i tear up. it makes me so happy to know i mean something so anyone out there. it’s the best feeling ever. hope u enjoy more!!! <3


	9. First Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> u have an interview with neil!!! and a small talk with sansy boy :) plus you nearly have an attack when you try to ask a question. i’m sorry :(

Sunlight streamed into your room in thin lines through the blinds, slivers of light covering you in small warmth.Your eyelids opened just enough to glance around in exhaustion.Immediately, something caught your vision.

Because it was right in front of you. 

You were cuddled up with Sans’ arm which he had probably unwillingly offered you in his slumber.He was facing the ceiling, though his head had slumped to face you. 

Your eyes took the shape of saucers, shock and nerves filling your every fiber.You withdrew yourself slowly from his smooth arm, wanting to leave him to be peaceful.He was quiet— soft breaths making his rib cage rise and fall calmly.You wondered how that worked for a second, but the thought quickly left you as you tried to get out from the covers.

_Did anything happen last night?_

**No... I don’t think anything did.I can’t** **remember** it all.

_Let’s hope nothing did._

He stirred again, curling over to where you just were.He mumbled little nothings in his sleep, humming out small sounds.

And you were staring at him.

You flinched, and your cheeks heated up to a light pink.Checking your phone for a time, you cursed under your breath when you realized it was already 11:16.You had roughly 45 minutes to get your place ready for interviews.

Scrambling out to your kitchen, you grabbed a banana from the counter for breakfast.You rushed around the small area to put away a couple bowls, a glass, and a few plates.As you grabbed a sponge, you started washing the mound of dirty dishes lying in your sink.

In a short ten minutes, you had scrubbed clean each and every dish that had been sitting there.You yawned, but pushed forward to your living room for more cleaning.A couple blankets were scattered unceremoniously across the couch, which you quickly picked up to fold.The pillows had fallen or were shifted, so you moved those into place after you folded up the blankets.

You sped walk over to grab your broom, doing a light sweep of your apartment in record time.

It had just turned 11:38, putting you high stress mode to finish up the cleaning.Thank god your apartment wasn’t big, and all you had left was to tidy up the bathroom and wipe down the counters.

You worked for the next fifteen or so minutes straightening up little things, getting around to the bathroom and the stained counters, and fixing up small clutters to make the place look more open— despite its size.

After you had finished, you checked your phone, pleased when it read the time of 11:54.You collapsed to your couch, taking heavy breaths with your thorough yet speedy cleanup.

After a short minute of relaxing in the cushions, you walked over to your kitchen to have a small, yet more filling breakfast than your one banana earlier.

You prepped some coffee in the maker, watching the hot steam slither off the dark liquid.It was calming to you, to watch the coffee fill the mug.It eased your fast heart, if only for a moment.

The quiet in your silent apartment was interrupted by the light and lazy footsteps from near your bedroom.

You turned your head, meeting eyes with the lazy skeleton’s.

He was wearing a tired smile, sockets half-lidded with lingering fatigue.He leaned against the worn doorframe, arms crossed carelessly.

“mornin’, sweet tooth,” he spoke in a husky voice, as if listening to a voice of the bass clef.It still held its smooth consistency, akin to caramel’s rich warmth, but it sounded like chocolate.Deep and dark, yet keeping that warmth of beloved caramel.

“Good morning, slippers,” you smiled.“Coffee?” He pushed himself off the peeling paint of the old frame, and moseyed over to you.

“sure,” he hummed, a short response that finished with a yawn.You handed him the coffee that was accessorized with ribbons of steam curling in the air, and reached into your cabinet for out a second mug to make more.

With a quiet clinking noise, you set the mug down, and picked out another coffee mix.You refilled the coffee maker, and started it up to brew yours.The dark stream that filled your (F/C) mug made the familiarly soothing flowing noise, easing you from your nerves for another time.

“d’ya want me to show ya how to make it like i did?” Sans snapped the silence that sat vulnerable between you both.He was nearer than you had realized; his head was hardly four inches from yours. 

Your breath hitched, the relaxing noise of coffee suddenly becoming a mere background sound to the internal spike of anxiety that had the same effect as a heavy metal concert.

**Why was it so nerve-wracking?**

**Just be normal.Calm down.**

**It’s just Sans.**

Yes, it was just Sans.The goofy skeleton you fancied that one night at the bar.The same skeleton you had kissed the first night you met.The same skeleton that protected you from some douche on a sketchy street.The same skeleton who you cuddled with that previous night and the morning of in your deep sleep.

You gained a fraction of your voice back, yet you didn’t hesitate to try and shut your confusing thoughts that had been pooling around for a while.

“Y-Yes please,” you stuttered out, a bundle of nerves catching your tongue before you could save it.“It was really good.” Your nerves swallowed down in your throat, dying out with the new memories in your head.

This is the same skeleton that told you puns to make you stop crying.The same skeleton that hadn’t an idea of where to drive so he drove around without direction for five minutes.The same skeleton that wore slippers out of the house because he didn’t think you’d notice them.

He shuffled slowly away from you and towards your fridge, allowing you to catch your held breath.You recalled him saying something about putting brown sugar in the coffee, so you searched in your cabinets for the bag of it.

Sans had found your creamer, and placed it on the counter near your coffees.You set the bag of brown sugar next to the creamer, and looked up to him for the next instruction.

“okay, so ya wanna pour enough creamer to make it this sort of color—” he pours some creamer in— “then ya want to stir about a spoonful of brown sugar in...” He does so.

You copy his movements, glancing back to his cup to make sure you were doing it correctly.He pauses to wait for you, and as you finish up stirring the small bronze crystals into your morning brew, you glance back at him for a final ingredient.

“ya don’t happen to have any monster food here, do ya?cinnamon, more specifically.”

You tutted your teeth in frustration, knowing you didn’t have any.Then, as bright as day, the memory flashed in your head. 

“Oh!Actually, I do!” You almost squealed.You scurried over to the cabinet with spices, pulling out a small container of cinnamon that read a disclaimer of ‘Monster Food - does not contain same nutrients as human food, made almost purely from magic’.

“I went to the grocery store and didn’t check the label so I just threw it in my cart.I realized when I got home it was the wrong one.” You smiled giddily.“I’ve never been so relieved to have gotten the wrong type of food.”

Sans chuckled at your little story, and the grin he gave you let you know he was loading up a pun.

“i guess ya could say it was a _bean_ -ificial  im- _pasta_ ,” he winked.You put your head in your palm, cringing at the bad puns.

“That second pun doesn’t work!We’re making coffee!” You groaned, taking you face away from your hand to scold him.

“then why are ya smiling?” His cocky grin was beaming with arrogance, and you knew that he knew his puns were bad.Despite it, you turned away, fighting down a humored giggle.

“i knew ya liked my puns a _latte_ ,” you didn’t even have to see his face to know he winked.

_What a moron._

**Yeah, but he’s a cute moron.**

_Stop calling him cute._

**... But he is—!**

“Shit!” you cursed under your breath.You had started scratching your arm; your gaze fixed on the coffee in your hot mug.The yellow glow in the metal had kicked it up a notch, brighter than its usual nightlight dimness, and akin to more of a lightbulb.

“(y/n)?ya okay?did ya burn yourself?” Sans’ tone was collected, but he had stressed his point by calling you by your real name, and leaning to look into your eyes.It sounded a bit strange from his mouth, since you were a little more used to the ‘sweet tooth’ nickname. 

“Sorry, um, yeah.I’m- I’m fine, just hurt my hand a little.” 

“oh, uh... okay,” he backed up.“are ya sure?do ya need something?” His voice was calm.Still very calm.It reminded you of the only time you’d seen him get angry.You wondered if that happened often.

“I’m fine, I promise,” you assured him, shoving your glowing hand away from sight.

Just in time, there was a rapping on the door, interrupting Sans from asking you anymore.

“Oh, crap,” you hissed.You turned to Sans.“You don’t have to leave yet, but would you mind just sitting in a different room for a second?This shouldn’t take too long... I hope.You can use my shower if you need to.”

Sans furrowed his brows.

“are ya sure?i could just leave, ya know?it’d be no problem.” His assurance gave you nothing, and only made you want him to stay more.

“I swear, I’ll be done with the first person in just a bit,” you told him, going over to the door.“I need to talk to you.”

With the change in atmosphere due to your urgent tone, Sans ceased his protests, and sat in your kitchen.

You opened the door, letting a rather scrawny-looking guy into your apartment.He had the face shape of a long oval, and shoulders that had the width of a throw pillow.His skin was the color of snow, despite some freckles that were scattered in fews.Short stubble was noticeable around his jaw, but too short to be called a beard by a long shot.His lips were in a thin, pale-pink line, unamused.Heavy bags clung to his tired, brown eyes.His nose was bigger than his other features, and you tried to not stare at it for too long.

“Hello!You must be Neil!” You cheerily greeted him.His response lacked when he only gave you a nod and grunt in return.You stepped out of the way to let him in.

“Make yourself at home!” You beamed, way too excited for an interview.He had a gait that was pricked with exhaustion, not alike Sans’.Sans walked around lazily, sure, but it was chilled, not on the verge of falling asleep.

You grabbed your coffee from the counter, and brought it over to the glass coffee table to set down.He had slumped into your couch, but you didn’t mind much.You sat down.

“So, I only have a few major concerns, and then I just want to, um, get to know you?I guess?” You inwardly cringed at yourself, and noted that he seemed rather unresponsive.He didn’t answer, or even differ in facial expression.You awkwardly continued.

“Okay, so, would you be able to afford the rent?” You clasped your sweaty palms together, attempting to ignore the growing tightness in your throat.

He shrugged.

“I just got fired, and I haven’t found another job yet, so probably not for a while.” His oddly pitched voice sounded nonchalant about not being able to even pay rent.

“Oh,” you shortly replied, disappointment clear.“Okay, then.” You glanced back to the table for a minute.Slightly surprised that he was so open about not being able to do one of the most important things in a roommate, your standards dropped for his next couple of answers.

“Are you generally helpful around the house?Like cleaning stuff up, rinsing dishes, just small things?” You asked.“It’s not a super big deal, but I don’t want to be the only one cleaning around the house.”

He laughed lightly, and scratched the side of his neck. 

“No, not really,” he chuckled.“I’m kinda lazy honestly.I’ll help sometimes, but I’ve been told I’m fucking gross.” Wondering how he’d ever gotten through interviews before, you continued.

“Would you be willing to go grocery shopping?Running errands is something I don’t get to do much because I’m busy a lot with work, so any small help is great.” You were pretty desperate for any sort of salvageable portion of him in case the next two candidates ended up to be a flop.

“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugged.“Could you teach me, though?I’m living with my parents right now and they sorta do everything, so I don’t really know how.”

You almost laughed.

But you maintained composure, and only gave him an almost expectant stare, hoping he was joking.

He wasn’t.

“That... If you end up being my roommate, then sure.” You had zero expectations left.Zilch.Nada.Nothing.

“Okay, Neil, tell me a few things about yourself,” you had practically given up, but maybe he wasn’t a shit human.You picked up your coffee, and started sipping.

“I’m good at guitar, or at least my friends tell me.I’m pretty... adaptable.I can get used to different places, uh, easily.I’m a big fan of RPG games, and Xbox and shit.I’ve been single for a year, so I’m down for anything.I’m a shit cook, but I can make mac and cheese, and I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth.” You stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Oh, you finished,” you muttered, then set your mug down.“You know what?I think that’s all I needed, so I’ll get back to you shortly on the details, and I hope you have a good day.” You stood from the couch, gesturing for him to follow, and head towards the door.He trudged along, asking you questions about how it would work.

“So we just share a room?That’s pretty dope, just saying.” You nodded with a hum, practically shoving him out the door.He was in the middle of another pointless sentence when you shut the door in his face, leaving him outside without so much as a goodbye.

You took a deep breath, and made a quick decision that he would, indeed, not be your roommate.

_Those answers!_

_He didn’t even try to lie!_

**Props for being honest, but...**

**WHAT THE HELL?!**

You blew out your breath, and turned to see Sans’ amused skull staring back at you.

“wow,” he grinned.“and here i was thinking i was rough to live with.how did that guy even make it to your final list?” You fought a smile, and protested.

“I don’t know!I couldn’t find a lot of people that were good, so I just... oh, shut your mouth!” You hissed at him playfully when he started laughing.His laughter only continued, dimming down after you joined in.

“okay, well, how many more ya got?” He was wearing a lingering grin, just a pinch wider than his neutral.

“Two more,” you sighed, walking over to sit on the couch.“Sophie and Undyne.” Sans flopped lazily next to you, wearing a more casual grin.

“well, ya better hope those turn out better than— wait, did you say undyne?” His smile twitched into an unassured wince, and his odd change in tone made you only slightly nervous.

“Yeah,” you replied.“Why?Do you know her?” You sipped the warm coffee in your grip, looking at Sans for an answer while you did.

He chuckled, despite nothing funny being said, almost like an embarrassed laugh.

“yeah, actually,” he scratched at his collarbones.“my bro was really close with her.they did training together and whatever.”

You hummed, still drinking your coffee.

“so,” he clasped his hands together.“what’d ya need to talk to me about?” 

This was when it became hard to speak.

Your hands clammed up, a cold sweat sweeping over you like wind.The words you had been wanting to say died off in your throat, coming out in only small fragments and frantic gibberish.

“I-I wanted to ask you for... it was about... it wasn’t for anything, I-I-I meant it was like... it’s just a question I have?I guess?I was wondering if I... i-if we...” Your voice came out dry and anxious, like dead leaves in the fall under a boot.“I like... ha-hanging out... with you.So...” You winced.

“CanwejustforgetaboutthatnightbecauseIreallywanttobefriendsandIfeellikeitsweirdandeverythingandIjustliketalkingtoyou—”

Sans was smiling amusedly at you, waiting for you to finish with an aura of humor. 

“everything good now?” He grinned.You chuckled, but your face was pounding with nerves and your heart felt heavy.

This topic had been nagging you since last night.You loved talking with the dork, but the stupid tension sometimes arose or pressured your heart with thoughts of his body on yours again.Sweat and saliva intermixing in the fest of passion and pounding.Sweet fulfillment brimming you with each thrust inside—

And that was the problem.

You got lost in that night. _The big regret_.

You just wanted to be friends with him.

_But would he feel the same?_

“listen, sweet tooth,” Sans took a breath as he shifted.“i like hanging out with ya, too.if we just need to forget that night so we can still hang out, then i’m good for that.” Every time there was a mention of ‘that night’, you felt an embarrassed blush singe your cheeks, if only for a second.

A brighten in your eyes and smile was your exertion of relief and excitement.

Almost unable to control your giddiness (for some odd reason), you thanked him religiously, and wrapped your arms around his bulky framed torso.

He flinched from under you, kicking your nerves to tell you to get the hell off him, until he gradually returned the hug.His bone arms were comforting to you.

You squeezed him ever-so-slightly tighter, then let go.

“Thank you so much for being so understanding— you’re so awesome about all this honestly.”

You swiped a hand down your face, feeling like he should’ve been scared off by you already.

“I really enjoy hanging out with you.And I want to do it again sometime.Would that be okay?” Your heart felt like it weighed a ton, singeing nerves hammering with each word that escaped your mouth.The fear of being rejected by someone who you got along with so well just tore you in half.

“totally.if ya ever wanna hang out, just shoot me a text.” He stood from the couch.“i like being friends with ya.”

Your heart fluttered like a wild animal in a cage, his words driving into your brain and melting there.You didn’t want to forget them.He made his way towards the door, and you followed.

“anyways,” he said.“i’ll see ya around, sweet tooth.i’m glad i could _espresso_ how much you _bean_ to me.” He sent you a wink, and a giddy giggle bubbled past your lips. 

He turned to you for one last goodbye before he left, and pulled you into a soothing embrace.With a calm smile, you hugged him back.

“thanks for having me,” he waved as he walked out your door.

“See ya, slippers!” You called as he hopped onto his motorcycle, and you could’ve sworn you saw him wink at you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!!!!!  
> i say that every time but i meAN IT!!!!!!  
> <3  
> <3   
> you all mean the wORLD TO ME!!!!!
> 
> this chapter is kinda glitchy so sorry if anything turns out weird or something isn’t highlighted :/


	10. Interviews and Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> undyne!!! and a racist >:( plus u remember something!!

“Okay, so, would you be able to pay rent?” Your voice was firm, but nerves tickled the sentence so you didn’t sound confident.Sophie looked at you as if you were joking.

“Of course I would.Who would want a roommate who couldn’t even pay rent?” You laughed with her, deciding against bringing up your last candidate for the roommate position.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you chuckled.“Next question— do you generally help around the house?Like cleaning up small things and... that sort of stuff?” You made an elaboration gesture with your hands, then put them in your lap as she began with her answer.

“Most of the time, yes.Sometimes, I’ll accidentally leave... like, say, a cup lying around.But— I never do it on purpose.And if I ever notice it, I clean it up right away.Also, I keep my area rather clean and tidy, so you don’t have to worry about any mess I leave.Even if there is a mess, I’m a clean freak, so I’ll deal with it.”

“How about cooking?”

She lost your gaze, looking to the coffee table with a nibble on her bottom lip.

“Uh... I can... make cereal?Sorry, I’m not the... best cook.I’ve lived off ramen and bagels for like the past year or so.I’m not... great... in the kitchen.” You giggled lightly, and shook it off, telling her it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’m a crappy cook too, if I’m being completely honest,” you winked assuringly.She chuckled with you, and you continued on.

“How about errands?Would you be alright with running to the store now and then?It’s hard for me to do that kind of stuff, but I mean, I still get around to it.It’s just inconvenient, y’know?” She smiled, and cut off your rambles by replying with her own answer.

“Yes, I could do that.I get it, though— errands suck.I wouldn’t mind it too much as long as I’m not the only one suffering every so often.”

“Oh, of course I’d do them, too, but it’s nice to have help.”

She nodded, telling you that she didn’t mean to say that she’d be the only one working.

“I just meant that I would be cool with it as long as we shared.But yeah, I’m totally fine with going on little runs here and there.Is there a specific store you usually go to for food?” She seemed like she wanted to know for future reference, but you didn’t mind.You thought she’d probably end up becoming your roommate anyway.

“Oh, yeah, the one that’s on the... the corner?Y’know?Around the block just past the breakfast place?It’s a Kroger, I’m pretty sure.”

“Oh,” her smile faded.

_You said something wrong.You offended her.She hates you.You scared her away, you fucking freak._

“Is- Is something wrong? Sorry, I’m sorry, but did I say something?I’m really sorry, I don’t—”

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” her sharp voice cut through your shaky one, easily shutting you up.“but the one that sells monster food?”

Surprised with her concern, you obliviously replied with a silent nod, awaiting her explanation.

She sighed, almost frustratedly?Weird.

**Had you... Had you said something?Did she not like monster food?**

“If we end up as roommates, could we go to a different grocery store?Maybe one that doesn’t sell food for monsters.” She was wearing a look that you tried to decipher.Maybe it was disgust?Or a wince?

“If you don’t mind my asking, then why would you want to?” You didn’t want to be rude, maybe she just didn’t want to mix up food.

_Like you seemed to do all the time._

“I don’t really...” she glanced around the room.“What’s the word— associate!I don’t like associating with... monsters.” As if it left a bad taste in her mouth, she cringed as the word ‘monsters’ came out.

“What?” You almost laughed, trying to lighten the awkward scene laying out.“Well, why not?”

She looked at you like it was obvious.

“They’re not very clean.They have fur, like animals.They have scales, like animals.They have webbed feet, paws, slime, fangs, claws... Should I go on?” She asked as if you were dense.

Offended on behalf of every good monster you had met, you gaped, and shook your head.You found confidence in your anger, and protested against her words.

“They are not _animals_ ,” you said.“They are mature and sophisticated, just like humans.Most humans at least.You can’t base your opinion off something from... from what they look like.” She soured up, and looked at you condescendingly.

“They were underground for... what was it again?A hundred years?”

“A _thousand_ ,” you broke her strong voice with your tightly wound cold contrast.A challenge, almost.

She narrowed her eyes.

“A thousand years, then,” she said.“They haven’t lived in a real society for a thousand years.And you think they’re sophisticated?”

“Yes, I do,” you tried— you really tried to keep yourself controlled, but, damn it, that Sophie girl was being a real pain in the ass.A shitty racist?She’s out for the running of roommate.“They are honestly nicer than most humans, and they don’t act like... like shallow assholes when they meet a new person.”

The grinding venom laced in your voice was accidental, yet you weren’t going to apologize for it for as long as you lived.A scowl had settled on your face while you sat in a cold, dead, aggressive silence.

Right as she took a breath to begin speaking again, you growled,

“Get out.”

She scoffed, and— dare you say— _snootily_ left your apartment.

A bitter blanket encompassed your body and mind, cradling you like a child and whispering sour words into your ear.

“I hate people sometimes,” you murmured.Frustratedly, you crossed Sophie off the list for roommate.You could deal with some things, but a racist was too bad.

“Alright, let’s hope Undyne can salvage this,” you were holding on by a last little string of hope, but your grip with firm.

You checked your phone for the time while waiting for her.

2:45 PM

One can only hope.

~~~~~~~~~~

A loud banging on your door made you jump ten feet in the air, and quickly hop off the couch to answer this Undyne character.

As you swung the door open, you were greeted by a six foot tall blue fish woman.She wore grayish-green cargo pants with a black tank top and army boots.She had hair the color of a shimmering stop sign that swayed gently behind her.She was wearing a large smile, teeth sharp and pearly white.

Her hand shot out.

“Nice to meet ya!I’m Undyne, what’s your name?”

You took her slick scaly hand into yours, giving it a nervous shake while she rattled your entire body.

“I’m (Y/N),” you told her, the fact that you had already said your name over the phone slipping your mind.“Oh— please, come in!” You moved aside to allow her into your apartment, watching her movements as she glanced around.There was a gleam in her eye that had caught your attention, and you drew back to it when she turned to you.

“Alright!So how’s this working?” Her smile hadn’t faded, the muscles in her cheeks flexing so hard you thought they could hold barbels heavier than yourself.

“Oh!Um, you can just take a seat on the... on the couch.We’ll get started in just a minute.Would you want anything to drink?A water maybe?” You fiddled with your fingers, anxiety kicking it up three notches.You would’ve missed her answer if she weren’t so loud and boastful just in her tone, as you were busy fighting off hundreds of anxious voices in your head.

“You got tea?” She asked you, a shimmery shine reflecting off of her perfect bright teeth.

You nodded furiously, scurrying into the kitchen in hopes of making sure she enjoyed her short visit for an interview.Considering you didn’t know much about her, you hoped she would be the one to room with you.

“Is... um, is green tea alright with you?” You stammered out, a shaky grin loose to your face.

“Yeah!” she said.“Sounds great!”

You took a deep breath, and began boiling the water.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I hope this is alright with you,” you smiled timidly, setting it on the coffee table with your new coffee.“But I’d be careful, it’s kinda hot—”

Before you could finish another thought, she had swallowed down at least three large gulps of the steaming tea.Your mouth was agape, waiting for her to yell out in pain.She gave you a different reaction. 

“That’s some good shit!” she slammed the mug on the table, nearing a crack on its cheap surface.

With wide eyes, you shook yourself back to reality.

“Um, thank you!” you squeaked.“Is it not hot?” 

She nodded with her big grin.

“Oh, it’s hot,” she assured you.“but it’s really good!I didn’t want to set it down.”

You thanked her, relieving your nerves enough to move onto the next topic.

“Okay,” you clasped your hands.“Are you able to pay rent?” 

“Definitely!” She boasted.Her unwavering voice was contagious, and your mood shifted.

“How about chores around the house?Cleaning, picking up after yourself, cooking?”

“Hell yeah!My last house was clean as a whistle, and I assure you I always pick up my shit.I can cook loads of different meals, and my friends are great at that, too, so I’m always learning new recipes.Come on, give me a hard one!” She rubbed her hands together, expecting a challenge.You chuckled nervously, and asked her about running out to stores.

“I get around to it, but with two people in the place, I wouldn’t want to be the only one.” 

“Oh, totally!I love to do stuff that keeps me busy.It’s kinda hard for me to sit still sometimes, if I’m honest.Getting outside is a great thing for me.So, yeah!Running errands is like one of my favorite things to do!” You were astounded by her eagerness to get out of the house, since it took you a lot of convincing by either lack of food, a broken phone, or someone you wanted to see.Work was so much effort for you; you hated waking up early. 

“That’s... awesome,” you almost whispered, stars shining in your eyes.Her laughter booked through your small apartment, and you flinched at the volume.

“What?Was your last roommate a lazy punk?Fuhuhuhuhu!” She slapped her knee, then began calming down.“Never seen someone look so happy to have a roommate so eager to leave!” She continued laughing, obviously joking around and teasing you, so you bounced a couple laughs.

_Your last roommate?_

_He wasn’t lazy._

**He was so energized that he eagerly went behind your back.**

A cold anger swept your features, replaced with an all-too-phony smile to not set Undyne off.

“Anyways,” she wiped a fake tear from her eye, “what else did ya need to know?”

You removed your nails from your reddened arm, wincing internally from irritation.

“Oh, just some things about yourself!If you’re alright with sharing a bed— since I... I couldn’t afford two—, what kind of meals you usually make, your daily routine maybe.Just anything that might be useful if we live together.” You were positive Undyne would end up becoming your roomie, and you had no problem with it.She seemed rather nice, though overbearing.Confident, yet contagious.You found yourself mimicking some of the emotions she portrayed subconsciously.

“I have a really good friend named Papyrus, who visits for cooking lessons all the time.He and I are really close, and I like to hang with him.I usually wake up at around 6:30, but I’m trying to get myself to wake up a few minutes later.I head to work pretty early, but I only stay until four.I go on a morning jog, and I drink tea usually.I watch anime, so I love ramen too.I’m great at self-defense, and I’m trained with spears.And if you ever need a gal pal, I’m right here!” 

She bumped her chest with her hands for emphasis, giving you a grin way too big for your mouth muscles.You chuckled, and went over your options.

**A slack off that couldn’t pay.**

**A racist that could pay.**

**Probably the most energized creature you’ve ever met that can pay and do everything.**

Wow, this _sure_ was a toughie.

**********

“Yes, Monday morning, try to get all your necessities over here, and I’ll help you unpack in the evening,” you shook Undyne’s hand excitedly, grinning at her with both your lips and eyes.

“Gotcha!See ya then, roomie!” She waved to you as she dashed off, her shimmering red hair flowing behind her in a perfect ponytail. 

You took a breath, letting your smile ease— but not fall, and closed the door into your home.You checked your phone for a time, running a hand over your face when it said 3:13.

You picked up your cooled coffee remnants in its mug that sat on your coffee table, and finished it off, despite its temperature.A wave of exhaustion smacked you in the lungs, pulling air from you and draining your limbs of energy.You trudged to the kitchen for a snack, and let your lidded eyes flutter.Yawning, you opened the cupboard for something small, just enough to satisfy yourself for half an hour.

You settled on your favorite snack, and brought it over to the couch to begin eating it while watching a mindless movie.Your brain wandered while the movie played on, small things playing in your head as you stared at the screen, not taking anything in.

When a joke was said, you were reminded of something.

Sans had comedy night that night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter :( i’ll make the next one longer!!!! i swear!!!!!


	11. Breaking Down... For Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you have a bad attack over simple things after you forget to take your pills. you didn’t realize it would be this bad, and so you made half-assed apologies to a friend all-too-familiar with unkept promises.

Your gut clenched with laughter, pinches at your cheeks from the smile that refused to fall.You sipped at your moscato, taking it bit by bit to keep yourself mostly sober.

You were at the bar on the corner, watching Sans’ comedy act that was overwhelming you with giggles and guffaws with each punchline delivered.He was obviously enjoying himself, the happiest you had seen him in your short time of knowing the humorous (or should you say humerus) skeleton.His toothy grin was wide and eager, relaxedly spilling jokes while loving the audience’s cheers and claps and echoes of laughter.

You ordered some food to keep yourself from getting hungry while you wiped forming tears from your eyes.Your beam could not have been removed from your lips any time soon.

“so i ask this guy at my hotdog stand, ‘well, what can i getcha?’ and the guy says, ‘well, whaddaya serve?’” He makes a face as if he was looking at the guy he spoke of, a confused expression settling on his features.

“what did he want me to say?ice cream?prime rib?it says ‘hotdog stand’ right above my head.” He lets the audience chuckle and gets ready for the next part.

“‘i sell hotdogs, like the sign says.’ then this guy says, ‘well, don’t ya sell anything else?’ now, this might be a valid question in some cases, except for the fact that i had a menu right below me, too,” Sans chuckles with the audience, and continues, “which literally says ‘hotdogs and ketchup if ya want it.’ so, no, i didn’t sell anything else.”

You let out small laughs, readying yourself for the punchline.

“‘no, do ya sell any other foods?’” Sans acts like the guy asked him again, and makes a face to the audience, only to get ready for his next line.

“so i say, ‘well, i sell hot- _cats_!’” He pulls a hotdog out of you-don’t-even-know-where, and gestures to its tiny cat face that’s somehow on a side of the hotdog meat.You buckle over, wheezing with howls erupting from your mouth.

Needless to say, you had a punny night.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I didn’t know you were so good at standup!” You punched him lightly in the shoulder, and he gave a shy chuckle in return, scratching the bones of his neck.

“thanks, sweet tooth,” his bones glowed a dim cyan.“glad ya enjoyed it.”

“Are you kidding?I can’t wait for the next one!” You sipped more of your moscato, finishing off the glass finally.

“aw, thanks, sweets,” he winked at you.“anyway, enough about me, how’d the interviews go?”

“Good!Undyne is my new roommate since one was a racist and the other was that slack-off, so I’m pretty excited.”

Sans chortled, and tried to call a waiter over to the booth you had sat at.

“What?” you smiled obliviously.Sans chuckled again.

“well, it’s good you’re excited, but be prepared for... some eventful times.she’s pretty outgoing and eager, and her SOUL trait is justice, though her magic comes from her excessive kindness.”

“SOUL trait?” You asked.

“yeah,” he said.“you... do know what a SOUL trait is... right?” 

You shyly shook your head, feeling like an idiot for something that Sans seemed to act like was such... basic knowledge.

“oh,” he shrugged.“i kinda forgot SOULs aren’t as important with humans than with monsters.” He chuckled again, a twinge of embarrassment nipping at his voice.

“well, basically, the SOUL is the culmination of your being— everything ya were, are, and ever will be— and undyne has a SOUL trait of justice, so she uses kindness magic on people to judge them, sort of.depending on what they do, how kind their SOULs are, she’ll either trust them, or hate them.she wants justice to be served to everyone, and when people prove kind, she believes that they are good people.does that make sense?” You cautiously nodded, the new information finding a place into your mind to settle down.“Sort of.”

“yeah, that’s good enough for now,” he shrugged.“SOULs are a really hard thing to understand completely, and there are a lot of things that i just explain as ‘magic’.”

“So everyone has a SOUL?” With such a lack of knowledge on the topic, you readied yourself to interrogate the hell out of this poor victim for more information.

“yes,” he said.“there are different colored SOULs too.”

“How do I see my SOUL?” you asked.“Is there like... a thing I can do to pull it out?”

“oh, um, yeah,” his cheeks glowed like an old lightbulb that had dimmed, yet still shed enough light to shine on your face.“but SOULs aren’t really... normal things to... i don’t know, bring up?they’re kinda—“ he gives off an awkward chuckle— “ _private_ things, y’know?it’s a pretty intimate topic.similar to, in human culture, talking to a significant other about... something sensitive, i guess.”

You quickly resign from asking more questions, untended ideas and theories bouncing around like balloons. 

“Oh,” you shortly respond, unsatisfied yet nervous.“Okay.”

With your accidental tone that sounded akin to what a child would use when a parent just told them to stop asking questions, you saw Sans’ face wince up in guilt.

“but if ya really are confused, i’d be fine with answering some more questions.”

You brightened.

“Really?” Cheery and hopeful, you grinned.“I’m sorry, but SOULs are just so fascinating!Plus, it’s a pretty cool thing to know stuff about in humans.Not a lot of people are good with SOULs.”

“it’s good,” Sans just grinned.“what else do you want to know?”

“Can a SOUL be different colors?Like two or three different colors?”

He shrugged.

“kinda.the SOUL is the color of your most prominent trait.usually, people only have one, but sometimes, there are traces of other traits within.it’s a really cool sight actually, but it’s rare.”

“I remember hearing somewhere that SOULs can damage,” you said.“Is that true?”

“ya sounding like some sort of reporter,” he joked, pulling at his collar.“and yeah, it is.they can crack if put under trauma.doesn’t matter if it’s emotional, physical, or mental.SOULs bear the vessel’s sins and all the shit they go through.the cracks appear when that breaks them as a living being.”

Your mouth had parted since the answer was similar to what you had expected, but the dark answer still left you somewhat shocked.

“Wow,” you muttered.“That’s pretty sad.” 

“yeah, when cracks become too deep, that’s usually when the being’s sanity begins to drop.”

“Oh,” your voice lowered to a faint whisper.“That’s... really dark.”

“yeah, sorry,” a bead of sweat trickled off his skull.“i studied a lot of shit back in the underground.there were a lot of... morbid details.”

“What did you study?”

“a lot of science-y shit.physics, chemistry, astronomy, statistics, yadda yadda yadda.i studied some monster and human culture, too.but this is probably boring ya, so tell me a little bit about yourself.did ya go somewhere for school?”

“Actually, yeah, I went to (Name of College), but I couldn’t find any work in that, so I took up a job at a coffee shop so I had enough money to split the rent with my ex.”

**Progress.**

**It’s progress.**

“mm,” he hummed.“ya got family?i’ve only got my bro.”

Taken off guard by the sudden change in topic, you babbled out little fragments as a response.

“Family?Me?I— uh— I don’t have... well, I do, but— what about you?”

**_ Breathe . _ **

“No, I’m really— I’m not interesting— I want to—“

**_ Recalibrate _ ** . 

“What else did you study?My path was boring.Did you study— Was there anything else— How did you get through—”

“whoa, ya okay, sweets?” His soft voice shattered through your quivering reciprocate.“you’re starting a lot of sentences and not finishing any of them.” His tone turned light, a sign to try to get you to soften up, but when you tried to laugh, your throat squeezed up and you only got out a squeak.

“I-I’m— I’m fine.I swear.”

Short and frail, you didn’t offer any reassurance in your answer.

_What’s wrong with you?_

_Why don’t you pull yourself together, huh?_

_What’s so goddamn nerve-wracking that you can’t speak right?_

**My pills.**

**I forgot to take my pills.**

Hastily pulling your purse from below you, you rustled through it recklessly.Your hand was shaking with nerves as you searched for the small orange bottle that was hidden in the depths of your bag.

You could hear Sans trying to get your attention, but his tone was distorted... unclear.You couldn’t decipher anything he was saying.

**Get the pills.**

**Get the _fucking_ pills.**

Your breath shortened.Your hands lost coordination.You couldn’t see anything in the bag.Everything was a blur of nothing.Where were your pills?

“I’m- I’m need to— bath- bath... room.Where?” You could hardly look up to meet his eyes. 

His voice was still too unclear to hear anything, but he pointed, so you followed where he gave you a direction.

Stumbling off your chair and nearly knocking it over, you found your way to the bathroom by the glowing yellow sign near the doorway. 

You whimpered air into your lungs.

You were _so_ close.

You grabbed at the slick doorway, digging your hands into the wood to stabilize.

Rugged breaths continued scraping out of your throat.

You shoved the door to the bathroom wide open, falling into it.You found that the bathroom was completely vacant, but you still recklessly opened a stall.You were shivering.

Shaking.

You threw the bag to the ground, shuffling your hands aimlessly inside the contents.Teardrops dribbled off your chin.Your breath was tight.

Finally, your fingertips found the plastic container.You yanked it from your bag, dropping it to the floor on accident with your haste.You scrambled to pick it back up and open it, every part of your body shaking and losing control.

After a painfully long time of struggling to open the pill bottle, you poured out several onto your palm, going on to put the extras back.

It took longer, and you just realized that you’d have to swallow the pills dry.You let out a bubbled whine, not in reaction to the realization, but more of a cry of desperation to finally calm yourself.

The pills landed on your tongue— dry, and chalky.You mustered as much spit as you could, and swallowed the distasteful pills.

Everything seemed to finally quiet down.

The pills hadn’t taken effect, but the knowledge of the fact that your mental illness had been tended to was calming.Knowing the pills were getting into your system was calming.

Knowing you’d be back to normal in a few minutes was calming.

Knowing you’d be free from those attacks whenever you took those small little pills was calming.

Your breath returned.

You wiped small tears off your cheeks.

You gathered yourself off the restroom floor.

You set the pill bottle back in your purse, fingers calmly wrapped around the container.You had control.

**It was over.**

**Relax.**

_Don’t forget your pills next time._

~~~~~~~~~~

You knew there would be questions, but you didn’t know how many.

“sweets?is everything alright?ya scared me there, not gonna lie.but that doesn’t matter— are ya okay?(y/n), are you okay?”

His voice was familiar to you.Not that he’d used it before, but that you’d used it before.

Self-control seeping out with each unanswered second rolling past.The want to stay calm and chilled had fallen off the table along with the want to keep your worries tucked away.Fear trickled down each letter for the opposite position involved, and with each tick of a silent clock in your head, the more fear you felt drip down between the words themselves. 

“I’m okay,” you said.“I just forgot to take my meds this morning.Nothing big.”

Sans stayed quiet for a second.His expression hadn’t changed— hadn’t relaxed from its tensed wince of concern he was wearing.

“are ya sure that’s it?was it something i said?” He had more control.That was clear enough.

He was still worried, but he was setting back up his table, self-control sitting near the edge.

“Yeah, totally,” your words were nonchalant.Why were they so contradictory to the thoughts hammering into your skull?“I’m completely fine, I promise.”

“can you really promise that, though?” You looked to where Sans’ white pinpricks of eyes would be... only to be left fearful at a sight of empty sockets.It was as if you were staring into a void.A very filled void.A void filled with empty, broken promises.A void filled with regret.

_What were you looking at?_

_Why did he tear your statement out by its weekly drawn seams?_

_How did he do it so easily?_

“Yeah,” you lied.“I’m totally good.” 

“are you?” His question seemed daunting.The slower pace of the two words etching his point even further in your brain.“you aren’t a great liar, (y/n).”

_What was this?_

_Was he mad?_

“Sans?” Meek.Small.

“don’t make promises you can’t keep, sweets, especially concerning your fragile mental health.don’t tell me it’s no big deal when you broke down right in front of me.it’s not no big deal.that’s **scary** , sweets.i’m **worried** about you.first, you break your hand after your shitty ex, then you break down in seconds because of i-don’t-know-why.so, please, don’t promise to me that you’re okay when you **aren’t**.i’m worried, alright, (y/n)?”

And there were the tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry for the wait!!!!! i wrote this at 3 in the morning so i hope it’s of decent quality and not fucking shit bc i haven’t edited it yet (i know- bad move) but i should get to sleep and i hope u like also i love all of u to pieces with all my heart!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


	12. Dodged A Bullet... Sort Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sad chapter :( but it’s okay! next chapter will have an explanation. i’m fighting through this shitty school block that’s not giving me time !!!! >:)

“I... I’m...” Hiccups. “I- I- I’m so—“ Wails and babbled sobs.“—sorry!” Wheezing breaths entered your lungs as you cried, desperate attempts for oxygen following tears that streamed like waterfalls.You had never cried so uncontrollably in recent years.

Sleeved bones grabbed you into a tight embrace.You returned the gesture as tightly as you could, muffling your audible moans of apologies into his shirt material, and wetting the cloth in the process.

You felt like a baby.

You were clinging to him, like a child to a mother.

The worst part was that you didn’t want to let go.

You just wanted to cry.

It was like he could read you like a magazine.

You hadn’t felt so understood... for lack of a better word, in forever.It always went: ‘Are you okay?’ and you always gave the same ‘Yeah, just something small.Nothing to worry about.’ 

Never, had you ever, been confronted so accurately or with such worry in your life. You wondered why he understood your lies so quickly. 

You gripped handfuls of hoodie into fists, giving up thick wails of defeat.Your nose was running onto his sweatshirt messily, but you couldn’t stop yourself.Why couldn’t you stop yourself?

You felt like you had betrayed him.You felt like he couldn’t trust you because— if you were honest— you wouldn’t either.

Sans was quiet while you mumbled helpless nothings, only offering small hums and whispers into your (H/L) hair.

After about another minute of you letting out soft whines and half-pronounced apologies, you had calmed down... enough.Enough to at least get a few enunciated words across.

“How did—“ sniffle— “How could you tell?”

“i’ve...” he took a breath too deep to not be hiding something behind it.“i’ve been in a similar place before... and i know how awful it is.”

He took hold of your hand in both of his, showing you how much bulkier his bones were than yours— how strong he was.

“as a friend, (y/n), i’m beggin’ ya to let me help ya through this.”

_White hot memories scorch on your arms, pains continuing from the past feeling of just wanting to give up.Previous times of succumbing to everything engulfing you until you just dropped._

“I can’t ask you to do that,” your eyes glossed with fresher tears.“I couldn’t...”

_The blade slid so easily over your skin, opening gashes deep enough to melt you in pain, but not enough to end it.Not enough.Nothing you did was_ ever _enough._

“please, sweets,” he was hardly smiling anymore.It was desperate, pleading... scared.

_You release a worn sigh as the cut finally scars over with the others... after months had past.The faded whitish tint to the closed cut would be there to remind you of your hopelessness, your effortless failure in wanting to continue on._

Blurred vision distorted your view of collapsing into his arms again, apologizing out weak but repetitive yeses.Over and over and over.

You were never enough.

~~~~~~~~~~

“even if ya just need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call me over, ‘kay?” He looked into your puffy eyes for assurance.

“Thank you,” you whispered hoarsely.A fresh sting against the backs of your eyes let you know that you were falling back to your old crybaby ways.“for everything.”

He opened his arms timidly once more, offering you a third hug for that night.

With a light sniffle and a feeling of weakness, you caved into his irrationally comforting embrace.His hoodie had a smell, an odd but not unpleasant aroma to it, that smelled of warmth.Faint car engine, ketchup, and... maybe pasta?

You inhaled his scent deeply, scrunching up fabric into your palms while your breath blew out shakily into his shoulder.

When you both finally drew away, you felt emptier, but it was like you were on a high.There was a small contented smile resting on your lips of your tear-stained face, and it made no attempt to fall.You felt exhausted, yet you had never felt lighter.Even though it would pain you to will enough confidence to let your problems out into the open, it was nice to know someone was at least going to be there.You felt rather happy.Well, that’s a little bit overdoing it... you felt better... you felt improvement.

_There was a friendship._

_You **weren’t** alone._

“i’ll see ya around, sweets,” he gave you a grin— a look that you could cherish.Reassurance warm in his pupils, and his smile so sweet it could give you a cavity.

“Bye, slippers,” you smiled back.“See you later.”

And with that, you watched as he sped away on his motorcycle, jacket whipping behind him in the night wind.

~~~~~~~~~~

You checked your phone for a time, but found something much more shocking ruining your home screen.

**Henry** : _I’m sorry, baby_ [6:28 p.m.]

**Henry** : _(Y/N)? Please pick up_ [6:31 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Where are you?_ [6:32 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Come on, (Y/N), answer me_ [6:35 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Are you with someone?_ [6:36 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Did you have another one night stand?_ [6:36 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Are you kidding me?_ [6:37 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Now you’re not answering_ [6:38 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Fucking rich_ [6:38 p.m.]

**Henry** : _After everything I’ve done for you_ [6:38 p.m.]

**Henry** : _You can’t get over my one mistake_ [6:39 p.m.]

**Henry** : _I was so patient with you_ [6:39 p.m.]

**Henry** : _I helped you.I basically saved you, and this is the thank you I get?_ [6:39 p.m.]

**Henry** : _I made one fucking mistake after three years and you act like a fucking bitch to me_ [6:40 p.m.]

**Henry** : _You’re a fucking whore_ [6:41 p.m.]

**Henry** : _I wasted three years on your sorry ass_ [6:41 p.m.]

**Henry** : _Thanks for fucking nothing_ [6:42 p.m.]

A trembling hand—

your trembling hand—

was covering a shocked mouth.

Yes, you had dodged a bullet...

But _had you really?_

It was **three years.**

That bullet had already wounded you.

You hadn’t dodged a bullet, you had _numbed yourself to the pain_. 

You had ignored obvious signs of agony and shit, instead calling them “minor bumps in the road”.

You opened up your messages app, and went into your ex’s contact.You pressed on their picture of you two sharing a kiss somewhere romantic, and went into the info about them.

You changed their name to ‘EX- Do Not Text!!’ to save yourself from future regrets.

You changed the picture to nothing, letting it become a blank icon of a silhouette.You saved their contact, then you pressed Block User.

**_Progress_.**

**You’re getting _better_.**

After untangling them for about a minute, you plugged your earbuds into your phone, and began listening to some soothing songs as you watched the city pass by.

~~~~~~~~~~

You set your purse down by the front door, gazing around to the new emptiness of your apartment.Some pictures had been taken, some unnecessary reminders of your ex pulled from the scene.

_This was good._

_A fresh start._

_Right?_

You took a deep breath, and sat in your kitchen.You didn’t have work tomorrow, but you did have an appointment with Dr. Alphys about your hand, which had healed over in an amazingly short amount of time.You were able to flex it and move it about without any pain.There were some things that hurt when you pushed the healing muscles too far, but otherwise, you were feeling completely renewed.

You pushed yourself off the kitchen stool, tiredly rubbing your eyes as you entered your room.A yawn stretched through you while you lifted your top up, fatigue gnawing at your limbs.

As you finished your nightly routine, you collapsed onto your mattress, finding comfort in the better relationship that had established between you and Sans.

~~~~~~~~~~

“AH!HOW DID YOUR COMEDIC ACT GO, BROTHER?” Papyrus’ voice echoed through the house, but Sans had become used to the tone his brother couldn’t hide.

“good,” he grinned.“that, uh, human i told ya about was there.”

“REALLY?!” The excitement that bursted through Papyrus’ voice made Sans feel better, for sure.His brother’s relentless support in almost everything he did was what kept him going most years.When they were younger, and Sans had to be the provider for his baby brother, he wanted to make sure Papyrus knew every dream of his was important.After they had grown up and moved to the surface, Papyrus had been helping Sans through his rough times with his encouragement.Almost like payback for Sans, but with good intentions.

“heh, yeah,” he felt his bones warm pleasantly.“she seemed _tibia_ having a good time.”

“SANS IF THAT WAS A PUN, I SWEAR TO ASGORE—”

“what?ya didn’t find it _humerus_?” Sans had a shit eating grin on while his brother fought a smile down.“come on, you love ‘em.”

“I DON’T AND YOU CANNOT PROVE OTHERWISE!” Papyrus protested, furiously cutting up vegetables.Sans chuckled, and sat down at the counter.

“well, anyways, we had a little chat, and we’re pretty close now,” he said.“but, she’s... she’s not doing great, paps.”

Papyrus wore his SOUL on his sleeve, so any and every emotion he felt was right there for you to see once he felt it.He was definitely concerned.

“GOODNESS!IS SHE OKAY?WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?” His hand slowed down with the knife on the vegetables, worry distracting him from his task.

“she’s been through some stuff,” Sans wasn’t giving a grin.“her boyfriend cheated on her after a good three years.she’s taking meds to help herself, but she’s in a bad spot.if i could check her SOUL, then i’d know for sure, but... i think she...”

Sans couldn’t seem to get the words to mold together.It was like they couldn’t.They wouldn’t.He didn’t want to hear them.

“It’s Cracked, Isn’t It?” Papyrus’ soft tone startled his brother.He couldn’t recall the last time it had been so quiet.

“probably,” he sighed.“and she’s been keeping it closed quarters, so no one but those meds have been helping.”

A deep breath from the younger skeleton slid into the silence.

“Yes, That Could Not Have Been Good For Her SOUL.Especially Since Her Power Is Greater Than Monsters, Right?”

“yeah, she’s got a lot of personality in that thing.if it damages too much, she could be in for it.and those shitty pills aren’t doing much.”

“Oh, Goodness, I Hope She’ll Be Okay.”

Sans stared apprehensively at his hands.

“me too,” he muttered.

~~~~~~~~~~

There you were, crying.

But that didn’t stop the apologetic smile that pushed its way to your face.

You stared at him, lids growing heavy, clenching your chest where your SOUL would be.

This couldn’t be true.

You weren’t dying right in front of him while he just fucking watched.

No.You weren’t dying.

No.He wouldn’t just stay there.

But he _couldn’t move._

Terrified, his feet stayed glued to the ground, unable to process what the hell was happening.

It was only when you uttered a whine of pure agony that Sans finally was able to move towards you.

He collapsed on the ground, pulling you into his arms.With fluttering lids, you mustered a half smile.

“I guess... shit... I finally... broke, huh?” Your voice sounded just above a whisper.It was scary.Sans was **terrified**.

“no, no, no, sweet tooth, come on,” he rested your head in his lap.“come on, keep your eyes open.”

You winced again, but your pained expression vanished once you saw the fresh wave of terror strike his skeletal face.

“Hey,” with much effort, you laid a frail hand on his cheek.“Why... are you cry... crying?” Your thumb wiped a tear away.

He hadn’t even realized. 

He sniffled, leaning into your weak palm.

“please,” he whimpered.“please don’t leave me.”

“Don’t...” Your voice was hoarse, hardly audible.“Don’t cry...”

“(y/n), please,” he cried.“not again... i can’t lose you again...”

And just like that, your SOUL snapped straight down the middle, shattering into tiny pieces right before Sans’ eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every single comment makes me squeal, so don’t be afraid to comment!! i love constructive criticism too so please help me out here!!! i’m only a freshman in high school bro!! :D


	13. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow!!!! this chapter is REALLLYYYYY short!!!! good thing imma update over the weekend hopefully ;)
> 
> you and sans are both awake at the same time - not even realizing it :0 ;) and alphys makes a return!!!!!

Sans felt especially tired that morning, and for good reason too.After all, it was just past four AM.Nonetheless, he was brewing himself a cup of coffee at the early hour, fighting to keep his sockets from shutting.As the steam curled up into the dim kitchen air, Sans stilled.His mind was too sleep deprived to start racing or even freak out over the fear of you dying again, which had overtaken his dreams.

He was only reminded of a blurry memory of you.

Not pain or the want to see you, or even an ache about the breakdown you had had earlier.

He was just thinking of you.

“why does the most basic morning drink make me think of her?” Sans muttered to himself.“how’d i let that happen?”

He sipped the scorching coffee, unaffected by the obnoxious temperature.It warmed up inside of himself, keeping his thoughts on the image of _you_.

A lot of stuff made him think of _you_.

_Coffee, sugar, comfort—_

Little tidbits of himself were laced to you.He couldn’t even think about Grillby’s without hoping you might meet him again.

On a frustrated mind, Sans grumbled, and gulped down a majority of the caffeinated drink.He didn’t want to see you in his dreams again.

Because he knew the next time it happened, it would be worse than what he just witnessed.

~~~~~~~~~~

You allowed the creamy drink to slide burning heat down your throat, closing your eyes briefly.

But the coffee wasn’t the only thing that burned.

Your eyes were dry and burning, too.

Maybe from the fearful crying you did after you woke up screaming about your dream.Or, nightmare, rather.

You were battling with fatigue at the unreasonably early time you had awoken.You didn’t want to go through such a... a vivid dream again. 

It was... _too_ real.

The weirdest part was the fact that Sans was there.

_Why was he in your morbid nightmare?_

You pondered for a while, eventually giving up after no reasonable answer was presented.Although, that didn’t stop you from continuing to think of him.

It was... strange... that you had gotten on so well with someone in such a quick time.Not that you were complaining or anything.Sans was an amazing companion, and he was very... caring?Was that the right word?Yes, it was.He seemed to honestly understand you.He wanted you to feel better.And he felt the same as you with wanting to... to forget the first night.

You shook your head to free yourself from the thought.It didn’t disgust you, per se, it just made you feel dirty.Wrong.You weren’t that type of person.

The idea of sleeping with someone the first night you met them made you feel odd, like a different person.And rather violated in a sense.

The idea of sleeping with Sans, though, wasn’t as bad.He didn’t disgust you, and, weirdly, you didn’t feel so dirty after doing it with him.You felt closer to him.That was rather strange.

Nonetheless, you were glad he agreed to forget the night so you both could continue on with each other without that awkward burden in between.

A soft smile rested on your lips.He was really understanding.When you asked him, he seemed to completely understand...

But... wait, _what had he said again?_

“if we just need to forget that night so we can still hang out, then i’m good for that”

**...**

**Why did it sound like he didn’t want to forget it?**

“if we just need to forget that night... then i’m good for that”?

_Did he not want it to be forgotten?_

**Had he wanted to let the awkward energy stay?**

_He hadn’t sounded like he would’ve suggested it._

“i like being friends with ya”

_**Or had he just not wanted that part of your relationship to die yet?** _

You shook off the thought as soon as it came, assuring yourself that you were just crazy and sleep deprived.

But it was becoming harder to find other reasons for him saying something like that.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was 9:02 AM.

You were absolutely _exhausted_. 

You had already been up for almost four hours, energy coming from the last three cups of coffee you had downed.

Your appointment was at 10 AM, so you were awake for it, but, damn, were you going to be fighting to keep your eyes open during it.

You’d leave in a couple minutes with the drive being long, but you were having trouble willing yourself to get in the car.The bags under your eyes were getting heavier— harder to lift.

You heaved yourself off the couch, trudging over to your purse to sling it over your shoulder.You slipped on your old tennis shoes, and used a hair tie off your wrist to tie your hair up in a bun.

You shoved your phone into your jean pocket, yawning as you opened your door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re completely healed up!” Alphys bared her softened sharp teeth in a grin at you with the news.She rolled her chair over, and helped you unlatch the machinery.

“Really?” you asked, reciprocating her excitement.“Just like that?”

“Yep!The fractures in your knuckles he-healed up really quickly since they were so shall- shallow.You’re as good as new!”

You moved your fingers around in front of your face, just testing how well they had fixed up in a week. 

You really had healed in only a couple days.When you curled and uncurled your fingers, the lack of pain or soreness made you gape even wider.

“Thank you so much!” you exclaimed.“This is so convenient.And I thought I was gonna have to wear a cast for like six weeks.”

Alphys chuckled timidly, rolling back over to her computer desk to lay the contraption neatly in a drawer.

“Your fractures, although there were many, were s-s-small.And who wants a completely dis-disabled arm just for a few broken knuckles?” She gave you a warm smile, and you could tell she obviously didn’t enjoy smiling often.It was forced.It was the familiar “I don’t know you all that well but I want to come across as nice so I’ll put on a smile to hide awkwardness” kind of smile. 

You, personally, had mastered that smilequite the time ago, and you could read it easily from others. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” you agreed, smiling in return.You recalled the last time you had seen Alphys, and how you had intentions of hanging out with her for a coffee if she was available.“Hey, Alphys?”

The stout dinosaur perked up, a curious expression filtering her face.

“Are you... working late tonight?” You felt nerves bundle up in your gut, despite Alphys acting similarly to you when it came to socializing. 

“O-Oh!Um, n-no?I get off at... at 3 today.Someone else is p-p-picking up the later hours.Why do y-you ask?” Her thumbs fiddled together, stumbling and rubbing against the other without control.

“Would you want to grab a bite to eat?Maybe at like a sandwich place or something?” You found it harder to meet her eyes, which had widened considerably.

“I-I-I... U-Uh, sure!Yeah, of c-course!I-I just— um, w-w-what time?” She fumbled around.As hard as it was for you to match her eyes, you could tell she was having 10x more difficulty.

“What about 5?”

“At 5...” she mumbled to herself.“Would it be ok-kay if my, um, my girlfriend came?She’s really cool, I-I swear, but I told her I’d do a movie... movie night with her tonight.B-B-But I really want to get some food!Don’t get me wrong!I-Is it okay if she comes?” You waved your hand at her as assuringly as you could.

“Totally!Oh, definitely!” You repeated.“Yeah, yeah, but if tonight isn’t good, we can reschedule?” 

“No, no, no!D-Don’t worry about Undyne, she’s really sweet, I swear!” She babbled on.“M-My girlfriend, I mean.”

“Wait a minute,” you paused her abruptly, surprising the both of you.“Your girlfriend’s name is Undyne?”

“Um... yes?” Her voice shrunk in on itself at your accusation.

“Is she a tall blue fish woman?With red hair?” You asked, off the last subject and onto this new one.

“Yes???” Alphys replied again, still wearing her confused mask on her voice.

“She’s my new roommate!”

Alphys’ timid confusion melted away in a fraction of a second.

“She’s your what?!”

~~~~~~~~~~

“My roommate,” you squeaked out.The nerves landed into your gut like a brick, making you wonder if she wasn’t supposed to know that about her SO.

Alphys turned a bright red, scaled almost catching flame she was so angry.

“She told me she was fine!She told me she was doing great financially and didn’t need any help with going through the fact that she got laid off as being a monster on the police force because she told me she was going to be fine and that everything would figure itself out if she just trained enough—!”

Alphys took a deep breath.

Her scales shimmered lighter, glistening back to their original sunny color.

“I-I-I’m sorry... Sh-She had told me she would be fine, and that getting lai-laid off wasn’t a big deal.I didn’t know she didn’t have a pl-place to... to stay.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, uh,” you were rather unsure how to react, but you wanted to comfort her.“I’m sorry about that, though.I didn’t realize she had gotten laid off recently.She told me she was a personal trainer.”

Alphys nodded.

“Yeah, she works at the local gym, bu-but she only got the job recently.She’s gone a bit without... without a proper pay.” She sighed to herself. 

“Well, considering I’m bringing my g-girlfriend—“ the scales on her nose bridge glimmered a soft peachy color— “Would you want to bring a plus one a-as well?”

You were caught off guard, and almost got a word out to decline her offer, when she said, “You p-probably should.We’ve been told we make people seem like third w-w-wheels, but I mean I don’t want to force you, it’s just that... Well, we’ve been dating a couple years now, a-a-and it’s just nice to have some freedom with it.U-Undyne was the coolest person I knew when we were underground, and sh-she was so beautiful, too.She reminded me of this one girl— from an anime— who was a... a warrior!”

Alphys rambled about her girlfriend and the anime for a couple minutes, but halfway through her little tangent, she flushed the same color as a stop light.

“O-Oh, my,” she squeaked.“I... I got pretty heated, d-d-didn’t I?” You chuckled lightheartedly, and shook your head.

“Don’t worry about it,” you assured her.“We all have things we’re passionate about.”

She laughed nervously.“Yeah.”

It quieted down to a deadly awkward silence.The only noise that filled the room was a light scratching sound from your arm.

“U-Um, you know what?” you shattered the quiet of the doctor’s office.“I might bring a friend.”

“Oh!Good idea!” She smiled excitedly at you, showing you her front two teeth that were slightly more pronounced than the rest of her pearly whites.

_You knew just who to bring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! LIKE MY HEART EXPLODES EVERY TIME I SEE A NEW PERSON COMMENT!!!!!! AND THE PEOPLE THAT ARE STICKING AROUND I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!


	14. Long Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little bit of background... i’m sorry i swear i’m trying

**sweet tooth** : _hey slippers!_

**sweet tooth** : _i know this is pretty short notice ... but r u busy tonight?like 5 ish?_

**sweet tooth** : _if u r busy, it’s totally good dw about it_

You waited patiently, turning off your phone and going into your cabinet for a small snack.

Only a minute later, you heard a notification ring your phone.

**slippers** : _yeah i just got off the morning shift, whats up?_

You smiled nervously, hoping he wouldn’t find it too weird to go out for a small meal with your doctor and her girlfriend.

Actually, now that you thought of it, Sans knew Undyne, who was Alphys’ girlfriend, so he might’ve known Alphys?

It was probably a stretch.What if they didn’t know each other when monsters were underground?You didn’t know.Grasping at straws wouldn’t solve anything either.

**sweet tooth** : _i’m going to a dinner with someone i met and they’re bringing a plus one_

**slippers** : _oh nice_

**sweet tooth** : _thanks!i was wondering if u wanted to be my plus one?_

You waited a moment for another reply from Sans, another hefty bunch of nerves grabbing at your gut.

**slippers** : _sure ... i’ve been meaning to get outta the house anyway_

**sweet tooth** : _great!we’re grabbing something small from a not very fancy place around town, but we haven’t discussed yet_

**slippers** : _making plans last minute, sounds like something i’d do_

**slippers** : _how calen-dare you step onto my lazy territory_

**sweet tooth** : _that was a very week attempt at a pun_

**slippers** : _aw c’mon sweets i know you love to year my great puns_

**sweet tooth** : _alright you’ve got me there_

**slippers** : _heh nice_

**slippers** : _so when r we leaving?_

**sweet tooth** : _we’re meeting around five, so i’m leaving early to catch a bus_

**slippers** : _y’know i could just give u a ride right?_

**slippers** : _fr it’s no problem_

**sweet tooth** : _u don’t have to do that!taking the bus is fine w me_

**slippers** : _nah it’ll save time and that way u can tell me where to go in case i’ve never heard of the place_

**sweet tooth** : _oh ok - but honestly u rly don’t have to do that_

**slippers** : _nah dw about it.it’s rly no big deal_

**sweet tooth** : _well alright - but if it ends up becoming an issue or burden, let me know bc u don’t have to give me a ride_

**slippers** : _c’mon sweets giving u a ride somewhere is nothing_

**slippers** : _don’t stress urself out over it, k sweets?_

**slippers** : _i’m serious (y/n)_

**sweet tooth** : _thank you_

**sweet tooth** : _for this_

**slippers** : _no problem - can’t wait to see u again_

And there he goes again, with his words jumbled in your mind that had odd possibilities that you couldn’t decipher.His use of your real name again caught your nervous attention, and found a way to stray it to comfort and reassurance.

You felt like you could trust what he said.

**sweet tooth** : _see u in a bit :)_

You hadn’t realized that while you texted him the last message, a smile has maneuvered its way to your lips, and a blush mantled onto your cheeks.

You shook your head, letting a yawn prick tears in your eyes.You typed in a new number to your contacts, and sent a text.

**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : _hey!this is (y/n) from the doctor’s office and i was wondering where you’d want to meet up for a bite?_

You took a deep breath, and sat down at your counter, finally getting on to eating the snack you had taken out.

You didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

**xxx-xxx-xxxx** : _Oh, hey!Thanks for texting!_

You changed the number’s contact.

**alphys** : _Anywhere that you know of that is good should be fine!_

You thought for a second.What place was good for a casual outing?

Muffet’s, Grillby’s, or maybe that sandwich place you had been meaning to try?

You told yourself to go safer, to pick somewhere you were familiar with.

No sandwich place.

Muffet’s Bakery or Grillby’s Bar and Grill?

Muffet’s, although it was amazing, was more a dessert place than a place to grab real food.You usually went there after work for a sweet snack.

Grillby’s it was, then.

**(Y/N)** : _how about grillby’s?u ever been there?_

**alphys** : _I haven’t actually— but I remember the place from the Underground!_

**alphys** : _Is it good?_

**(Y/N)** : _very - they serve all kinds of drinks, and the food is great.not super healthy, but i love it for snacks to grab when i’m relaxing_

**alphys** : _Sweet!I love comfort food.Do they happen to serve spaghetti though?_

**(Y/N)** : _i don’t think so???but he might have like ... a certain dish of pasta maybe ... idrk - i usually just get (burger or fries) with some (condiment)_

**alphys** : _Oh, that’s okay!Undyne is just a really big fan of making spaghetti lololol but she likes a lot of different foods!We eat out all the time_

**(Y/N)** : _aw that’s sweet of u to look out for her!_

**alphys** : _(´ω`)Thanks - she’s usually the one that helps me out all the time lol_

**(Y/N)** : _lololol can’t wait to see u at grillby’s!_

**alphys** : _Same here!_

You turned your phone off with a light breath.

Then you turned it right back on.

You opened up spotify, and turned on your playlist that you used when you just wanted to think in the vast world of music.

You grabbed a pair of headphones from your room, and quickly rushed from your house.

You wanted to think.

~~~~~~~~~~

Your footsteps were soft on the grass; the only sound coming from it were the dead blades that crinkled underneath your shoes.The air grew dense and almost humid, and the warmth of your sweatshirt seemed loose.

Slowly, you pulled the earbuds from your ears, and shoved them into your pocket.You footsteps had stopped, only because you were met with the familiar melancholyy sight you had seen so many times.

After taking a deep breath, you treaded a couple more steps forward before stopping again, but that time, you let your weight fall to the ground.

You sat in a crisscross manner next to the uniform rock that had familiar letters carved into it.The rock you had sat next to many times before.

Suddenly, heavy emotions that were buried in your heart leapt out, and bit at your eyes.

The ground under you was getting some rain, but it wasn’t from the clouds.

You were silent while a soft rhythm of pattering water drops landed on the yellowish brown grass blades beneath you.

Your voice, as soft as the sound of your tears, broke through the quiet peace.

“Hey, dad,” you spoke, a quivering tone.“How are you today?”

~~~~~~~~~~

You waited a couple seconds for his shy response before speaking again.

“I’m doing better, I think,” you sniffled.You could see his patient smile in your head again.His eyes crinkled like paper at the corners, teeth straight with a faint cream tint.He would cock his head and ask, ‘What’s eating you up today, cinnamon?’

“Henry and I broke up last week,” you muttered.“And if I’m being honest... I’m not over him.” Those creepy and douche-like texts he sent you last night we’re stuck in your brain, but you couldn’t seem to see them.They were there, bright as day, but you didn’t want them to be real.If they were real, you had a reason to hate him.You had a reason to stop loving him. 

But you didn’t want that yet.

Or maybe you did.

“Well, it wasn’t a mutual breakup, anyways,” you mumbled.“He cheated on me.” Those thick words rippled through your throat.They made you angry— angry at Henry.

That’s good.

Better than wanting to forgive him.

“I know you never met Henry,” you sniffled.“And you’d probably just be telling me he wasn’t worth it right now.” A tiny smile pinched your cheeks.

“I thought he was the one,” you whispered to the gravestone.“Every day we spent together felt amazing.I mean, I didn’t get those crazy butterflies that I used to get when we were first together, but that was because I was comfortable with him and all. But, we’re done now.We’re done, and I’m getting over him.”

You took a deep breath, though the air trembled in your throat.

“Sorry I didn’t bring you any flowers today,” you said.“I’ve been... really distracted.”

Even without his blanket-warmth-like tone asking you about the details, you could hear him.You could hear the sound of his voice that sounded like water off rocks.Relaxing, yet coarse in the undertones.

“I met someone new,” you smiled, eyeing an oddly shaped cloud in the sky.“Well, we met on a bad night, but we’re friends now, and he’s really cool.” You felt a heat center itself in your chest, something pleasant that resonated through your body.

“He has a really good sense of humor, and we have some stuff in common— Oh!And he does standup!I saw him do it one night, he was hilarious.You would’ve loved it.He also drinks ketchup?Weird, I know!But hey, you would’ve had someone to share your love for ketchup with.Even if you don’t drink it by the bottle.” You felt lighter.

Your breaths were still shallow and unstable, but you were getting there.Your lips had fallen in a contented state, no longer frowning, or biting down to prevent tears.

“I miss you, dad,” you mumbled.“A lot.” Your throat got hoarse as a lump formed without your consent.

“I miss seeing you.I miss watching TV shows that mom wouldn’t approve of when I was younger with you.I miss when you would drive us to those tournaments that were way too early in the morning for us to be completely awake so everything was funny.I miss you blasting the volume to songs in the car that no one knew but you because they were popular when you were in high school.I miss you telling me riddles that I was probably way too young to understand when I was younger.” Tears spilled down your cheeks while hiccups bubbled out between broken words.Your bottom lip rolled under your teeth as you tried to bite down oncoming waves.It didn’t work.

“I was doing okay,” you hiccuped throatily.“I was.I really was.I mean, I have new friends and all, and I’m really getting around my anxiety, but I really didn’t need Henry to absolutely betray me like that.” You pressed your palms to your wet eyes, smothering the teardrops around your cheeks with the attempt to remove them altogether.Your skin felt hot to the touch, bothered by the saltiness of your tears.

Your sigh broke into another sob.

“Sometimes,” you whispered.“I wish I could hug you one last time.Just once.” 

You stared into the cloudy sky, finding shapes and animals in the organic figures of the white cotton.Your relentless waves of grief shortened up, leaving trails of waterfalls down your cheeks.

“But, I’m healing.”

The wind whistled near your ear, and your (h/c) hair brushed in front of your eyes.You pushed it back, and took a few steady breaths.

“I have a new roommate,” you said.“Her name is Undyne.I’m going out with her and her girlfriend later, and that guy I talked about is coming, too.We’re heading to a bar, and I’m hoping that Undyne and I get to spend a little time getting to know each other.”

You felt that you had updated your father on enough of your life, so, gradually, you rose to your feet, and looked back at the tombstone.You wiped a couple tears away from your vision.

“See you later, dad,” you half-smiled, pressing a kiss to two of your fingers, then tapping the tombstone with them.

And with that, you walked off more exhausted yet lighter than you felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER HAS THE DINNER !!!! :))))
> 
> i’m so happy so many people enjoy this book because honestly, it makes me so happy i’ve affected so many people. especially with how sweet and amazing you all are <3333 also - little life update - i’ve been befriending a senior at my school (he’s my sister’s friend) and i’m heart eyes for him!!!! he’s so sweet and funny and chill and i’m 😍😍😍 but he’s way out of my league so i’ll just not try especially since i’m a freshman and he’s a senior and that’s a three year age difference :D but things are looking... better :)


	15. Dinner with the New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinner time!! i feel like all my chapters are super angsty :/ maybe i’ll make a halloween special!!!! hehehehehe !!! >;) anyway, plans coming for next chapter!!!! ALSO THIS OTHER REALLY GORGEOUS SENIOR NAMED SOPHIE THAT I MIGHTVE ALREADY MENTIONED HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME A LOT AND I GO INTO A BI PANIC WHENEVER SHE COMES CLOSE AJD I WROTE A SMALL SONG ABOUT HER AND I SWEAR IM NOT A FREAK ITS NOT LILE “oh i love you and when can we be together” it’s like... cute. i might add the lyrics in the notes one day :) anyway - hope this is ok :P

The clock on your wall ticked the seconds by, and as it struck 4:58, you felt your never-ending supply of anxiety leak into your brain.

_ What if he cancelled last minute? _

You checked your phone— no new notifications.

_ What if he hated being around you? _

You checked your last texts with him, but your breath still shallowed.

_ What if he got in an accident? _

_ What if he crashed? _

_ You started scratching your arm.4:59. _

_ What if— _

The doorbell rang.

Waves of relief rushed through your bones, only to be replaced by more nerves.

_ What if he hated your outfit? _

_ What if he thought you looked like shit? _

_ What if Undyne and Alphys ended up hating you? _

You set a terrified hand on the door handle, and opened it to reveal the punny skeleton, himself.

He was wearing jeans and a black tee, with a mustard yellow jacket over.The look, although different, complimented him, and you were impressed.

“You look good,” you smiled.That earned you a grin in return, and a comment that made your insides scamper around.

“probably not as good as you, sweets,” he winked.You felt a soft blaze ignite in your cheeks, and you gave out a giddy giggle. 

You were wearing loose jeans that had tears from mid thigh down to lower shin, and they showed off your legs quite well.You had spent a good four minutes admiring your bad boys in the mirror.Your top was a tight t-shirt that had a vintage Coca-Cola logo whose front you had tucked into the belt of your jeans.But you let the rest droop over the belt loosely.You had tied your hair in a tight bun with a couple frayed strands hanging out, and you were sporting some black high top converse. 

“Aw, thanks!” You stepped out of your house, shutting the door behind yourself.

You and Sans started walking side by side to his motorcycle, and you were having trouble keeping a smile from your face.

“how’s your day been?” he asked.

“It’s been alright,” you hummed.“I accidentally woke up really early today, but I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was afraid I’d...”

**_~~ dream about you again ~~ _ **

“I’d... miss my appointment.”

“oh,” he said.“sorry about that.if it makes ya feel any better, i woke up way too early, too.”

“Really?” You were a bit surprised.“What for?”

~~~~~~~~~~

“guess i accidentally changed my alarm or something.but then i just couldn’t shut my eyes.”

_ bullshit.you know full well you just didn’t want to have the image of her dying in your arms again. _

Sans hid his fear for your protection behind acts like keeping his hands free from his pockets, and staying a couple inches closer to you than he’d like to admit.

He knew it was silly, but...

_ He couldn’t risk it. _

~~~~~~~~~~

“i just realized how much we’ve seen each other recently,” he chuckled.“i don’t know that i’ve ever been this friendly with someone.” His voice sounded somewhat surprised, but you could’ve sworn it seemed... too smooth off his tongue. 

“Oh, you’re right,” you gave off a small laugh.“Yeah, this is something I don’t usually do.”

~~_ “I’m just... not used to this sort of stuff... I guess?” _ ~~

** forget **

The memory clawed its way back into your head before you could shove it back.

You forced out a cough to makeup for the odd cutoff of your laugh. 

“so who are we meeting with?”

You thanked anyone above for that transition that Sans handed you.

“Undyne and my doctor, who is Undyne’s girlfriend.”

“good for undyne,” Sans hummed.“she always was the brave type.‘m happy for her.”

You finally approached the motorcycle, and Sans handed you a helmet.You took it from his hands, then winced as you remembered your hair.

“Shit,” you mumbled.“I’m wearing a bun.”

“what’s up?” Sans asked.

“I don’t want to screw up my bun.”

Sans shrugged, “just wear it down.”

After contemplating your options for a short couple of seconds, you grumbled, and reached to take down your bun.

“Just don’t make fun of my hair.”

“no promises,” he chuckled, and you could hear the wink in his voice.

You got the hair tie out, and wrapped it around your wrist, then you proceeded to run your fingers through your hair a couple times to calm it down.

“Alright, how do I look?” You weren’t very happy you had to take your hair down, but if it looked okay, then why would it matter?

Blue cheekbones and two dilated white pupils caught your attention.

“you look really good with your hair down.”

**... **

You could’ve given a tomato a run for its money with how damn red you probably looked.

You giggled timidly, shying from his stare.

“D-Do I really?I don’t usually, um, wear my hair down.”

“oh, um—” the sound of bone scraping bone could be heard— “ya really should.it looks... really, um, nice like that.”

It was awkward for a couple seconds, but it wasn’t a simple ‘the conversation ended and now I don’t know how to revive it’ awkwardness.

It was more of a... _certain_ tension.

A different sort of silence in which a lot could’ve been said.Wanted to have been said.

It was weird.

“you can put the, uh, helmet on now,” he ripped the silence apart, but the tension somehow stayed.“where are we heading anyways?”

You had put the helmet over your head, and fastened the buckle underneath your chin.“Grillby’s, actually.I didn’t want to go somewhere where I might’ve gotten something I‘d hate.”

“heh, good choice then,” he grinned.He dropped the helmet onto his bare skull, and fastened the little buckle.“let’s head out.”

He swung his leg over the bike, revving up the engine with a quick flick of his wrist. 

Then, he held a hand out to you.

You put a hand to your chest in mock impressment.

“Such a gentleman,” you said in your most old-fashioned voice, suppressing a very perseverant smile.

“why, thank ya, m’lady,” he tipped his head to you, winking as he noticed a small snicker slip from you.You took his hand and, as elegantly as you could muster your limbs to follow, hoisted a leg over the side of the motorcycle.

Sans let go of your hand after lingering for another second to assure your balance.

He revved up the engine again, and asked, “ya ready?”

You wrapped your arms shyly around him, feeling another tension rise with your front pressed against his backside.

_ Why were you so nervous to make sure you wouldn’t fall? _

You couldn’t answer yourself.

“I hope so,” you smiled, preparing yourself.

“don’t worry, sweets—” he lifted his feet to the pedals— “i’ll be careful.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was really pretty.The sun was slipping down to the horizon ever so slowly, and it hit the town at a really nice angle to illuminate the streets.It was chilly, but the light of the sun that swept over your arms did serve some warmth, if only barely. 

As you approached the familiar road near Grillby’s establishment, an oddly lukewarm wind brushed your skin.It passed quickly, but it left you with a ripple of goosebumps. 

Sans parked the bike in the lot, and helped you off as well.He unbuckled his helmet while you struggled with the plastic.

“C’mon,” you grumbled, still fiddling with the troubling puzzle.“Just... damn it.” You let out a frustrated sigh of defeat, and looked to Sans in immature embarrassment.

“Can you help me with the helmet?” you mumbled like a small child.You heard the ringing of Sans’ voice in a humored laugh, followed by his agreement.

You... You liked his laugh.

There wasn’t much to it,

but it made your insides all fuzzy and bothered.

And...And you wanted to... hear it more.

But you were distracted when his face leaned closer to yours.His pupils focused below your chin, on the buckle he was unlatching, and you had your head tilted a bit higher to give him access.You tried to ignore the temperature burning up your face.

You heard the satisfying click, and Sans backed up off you, taking the helmet from your head.You released a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“there ya go,” he smiled. 

Unfortunately, your nerves didn’t ease up when Sans jokingly lent you his arm.

** Why did he have to be like that? **

** Was he really that charming? **

He fought down a giggle, you could tell, especially since his grin was gleaming with humor.He looked really... silly.

You couldn’t stop a snicker from letting loose, so you succumbed to his playfulness, and linked your arm in his.

“Why, thank you very much, good sir.” You couldn’t keep a straight face. 

“yes, yes, of course, m’lady,” he went on, voice breaking in a chuckle.You had a few more laughs on the way inside to Grillby’s.

You felt a rush of... something... in your veins.Like a bright flash of... hope.Maybe this night could be fun after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

“okay, hold on a second... lemme jus— i-is it working?”

“Yes!It is!”

“okay, are ya ready?”

“Yes!I’m so excited!”

“okay,” he chuckled, still deeply focused.

You handed him a drink with two straws, and, just like you asked him to, he put the two straws into his empty sockets.It was odd, seeing again his threatening no-light-in-the-socket look, but this time, he wasn’t using it fueled with anger.

With a furrow in his bone brow through concentration, you saw the drink slowly slide up the straw and into his sockets, but you couldn’t see it go anywhere inside.It just disappeared.Like magic.

The drink was slowly going down in content, and you were sure he was actually drinking it.

“Oh, my god,” you whispered, an itching smile tweaking your lips.

He took the straws out of his sockets, and his pupils quickly returned.

“i think it worked,” he said. “i can still taste it.”

You laughed, and nodded.

“That looked so cool!And you actually were drinking it?!” You could not hide the surprise if you wanted to.

“i think so,” he laughed with you.Just a second later, you saw him wince, and his face cringed up.

You calmed down, concern growing through your humorous smile.

“Sans?You okay there?”

He took a large inhale, looking like he had every bone in his face flexed and mouth wide open.

Then, you heard (and saw) the mother of all sneezes.

His whole body moved with it, and—to add some disgust—whatever amount of drink he had swallowed through his eye sockets shot straight out of his nose cavity.

Thankfully, he had grabbed his napkin before the sneeze attacked, and prevented most of the liquids from spewing onto the table.However, it didn’t stop you from hearing the absolute explosion that he screamed out.

Almost immediately afterward, Sans froze up, face as blue as a berry.

It was silent for almost five seconds when...

“Ahahaha!”

You had burst into uncontrollable rolls of laughter.Right after you had begun howling in fits of giggles, Sans followed.His snorts and hearty bellows alike your own would leave you with an afterglow.

You were both buckled over, rocking back and forth with your shrieks and giggles.

“I... I guess there are... some side effects?” You spluttered through your fit.Sans wiped some forming faint blueish tears at the corners of his sockets.

“i guess so,” he started to calm down, but there were two wide smiles still lingering on either of your faces.“some s- **eye** -d effects.”

You groaned at the pun, but it kept the smile to your face.

“That was awful.”

“well, you’re smiling, so it was pretty good,” he cheekily grinned.“ **iris** my case.”

“Remind me again why I invited you of all people.”

“‘cause ya love my amazing jokes,” he winked at you, and you shook your head, tutting your teeth.

“Nope,” you hummed.“That’s definitely not it.”

“my... amazing magical abilities,” he smiled, making you laugh.“that... makes me spit my drink out of my nose.”

You shared a laugh again, and the two you had been waiting for finally showed face.

“Hey, punks!” You heard a powerful voice boom nearby you.Undyne scooted into the booth on the opposite side of you and your plus one, close to the wall.Her date, Alphys, soon followed, looking rather dressy for somewhere like Grillby’s.

She was wearing a pretty floral top, sheer, and a black jean skirt.She looked modest and cute.She rocked it.

Undyne, however, took a more brave option with a black leather jacket, and a white t shirt that read, ‘Soldier on the Streets, Biter in the Sheets’.Plus some camo jeans that were decorated with shreds and rips.Her shimmering red hair was curled into loose ringlets at the edges. 

They seemed like opposites.

Cute.

“Hey, Undyne!Glad you could come!” you greeted her.

She was about to answer when your date’s name fell surprisedly out of her mouth.

“Sans?” She asked, an excited grin captured on her face.“I didn’t know you were coming!”

“hey, undyne,” Sans grinned lazily at her. “how’ve ya been?”

“Great!Kickin’ ass as a fitness trainer, and I got my favorite gal by my side.” She hooked an arm around Alphys, planting a kiss on the side of her banana-yellow face.

“Oh, Undyne!” she squealed.There was a bright smile shining on her relatively sharp teeth. 

“W-What about you, Sans?” Alphys asked.“How’s standup t-treating you?”

“‘s been great, **tibia** honest.”

You snorted.

“Still got your puns, huh?” Undyne’s amused tone cut through with a laugh, and you looked to Sans for his answer.

“heh, yeah.i’m in some prop phase, and i’m having a **grate** time although it’s a little **cheesy**.”

You snorted into your hand again.

“so it’s going great.this one even came to one of my acts.” He nudged your side, grinning a grin that made you feel warm.Friendship.

“Yeah!I did!” you exclaimed.“He was really good!I haven’t laughed so hard in like forever, and I would totally go again.” You smiled contentedly at the memory.

“Have you guys been to one of his shows before?”

“Ugh, I wish!” Undyne groaned.“I’ve been so busy lately with trying to stabilize with a job, and finding a place to stay—”

“In which, you c-could’ve just asked me,” Alphys bitterly interrupted, surprising you.With her stutter and nervous tendencies (alike yourself), you found it hard to believe she could put spine in her tone, so when you heard the venom seething from her words, you quieted down.

So did Sans.

Undyne picked up on it, and the boisterous fish woman seemed cautious.You swore you saw a bead of sweat trickle down her forehead.

“Yeah,” she hummed, pulling at her collar.“I guess I just... forgot?” She winced up, and you felt a bit out of place.You didn’t understand what exactly was going on, or how deep this went.

Sans didn’t seem to either.

“You f-forgot that we’d been dating for two years?” Alphys stared at her fingers, which were tapping each other at a record speed.

“N-No, no, I didn’t mean that,” Undyne tried to be reassuring, but you could hear the fear of slipping up biting off segments of sentences that Undyne was clearly unsure about.

Sans nudged you under the table.

You stole a quick glance at him.

‘what do we do?’ He mouthed over.

All you could do was shrug.

Thankfully, before any more awkwardness could befall the table, the green flame waitress that had served you and Sans your waters returned.

“Hey there!Do you guys want anything besides waters for tonight?”

You didn’t feel like you should say anything first.

“I-I’ll stick with my water.” Alphys’ stutter was hardly nervous anymore.You felt uncomfortable.

“I’ll take an iced tea.” Undyne told her, her courageous and bold front almost completely gone.

“I’ll have your Night Sky,” you smiled at the waitress, trying to not put the lack of energy to mind.

“ketchup,” Sans lazily handed his menu back to the girl.“and i’ll take my usual.”

“Right away!I’ll be back soon!” She hurried off, giving you all another smile before she left.

And it was back.

As a pathetic attempt to break it, you sparked up a conversation with Sans.

“So, what’s your usual?” 

“burger and fries, decked in ketchup.”

“Wait, so is ketchup a drink or condiment to you?” You were lost.Sure, you liked wine, and it could be good in some steaks or sauces, but to drench food in wine?That was a little much.

“both,” he winked.“tastes good, so i get it on like everything.”

You shuddered.“Haven’t you ever gotten sick from it?”

He laughed a laugh that meant ‘I know something you don’t.’

“i’m a skeleton,” he chuckled.“the only sickness i can get is a hangover.”

“Really?” Undyne laughed.“That’s the only sickness you can get?”

Sans thought for a second.

“maybe a cold... or allergies.i haven’t really gotten sick before.”

At that, you muttered, “Lucky,” with a grumble.“Being sick is the literal worst.”

“oh?” The question tipped off his tongue.“what’s it like?”

“Headaches, stomach pains, stuffy noses, runny noses, itchy eyes, excess fatigue, nausea, sneezing, coughing, throwing up, sore throats, should I go on?”

“She’s r-right,” Alphys nodded.“I’ve seen those a-and even worse from ill humans.”

“damn.ya got it rough then.the worst i get are bad headaches and the occasional sneeze.i think i might be able to throw up.”

“You can throw up,” Undyne stated, almost in frustration.“Papyrus wouldn’t stop bitching about it to me for days.How drunk were you that day?”

“oh jeez, i forgot about that,” he laughed, slapping a palm to his forehead.“i, uh, don’t remember.all i can remember is that my tab got triple what it usually gets on a night.”

You gaped, knowing he went through about two or three bottles a night from the times you had drank together.You chuckled out a surprised breathy laugh, in awe.

_Three times_ that amount?

Nine bottles maybe?

You couldn’t handle all too much in your system, so you didn’t try to press yourself.Sure, recently you had been quite reckless with your sensitive alcohol immunity, but you hadn’t drank like it in quite a while.But, if you had fed yourself, say, nine shots—or nine glasses of wine—you’d be blackout wasted passed out over your toilet in the middle of throwing up.Considering that he only threw up once, in itself, was surprising.

“what’s up with the face, sweets?” Sans winked at you.You flushed, caught in your shock with mouth still hung open like a fish.

“Sweets?” Undyne smirked at you both.Then, Alphys gasped.

** Oh no. **

“A-Are you two... t-together?” Her cheeks pinked up. 

But they weren’t as pink as yours.

“N-No! No, no, no, we’re not— w-we aren’t... um, we’re not dating!I swear!” Oh, god, could you have been any more insistent?You sounded like a seventh grader when your friends teased you about a fake boyfriend.You were jittering up for such immature reasons.

“Whoa, (Y/N), don’t freak out,” Undyne laughed.“It was just a joke.”

“yeah,” the low ringing of his voice melted in your ears.“ya good?” By melted, you meant that its outer exterior dripped off to show his true feelings.You heard his fronting fake concern reveal the true hurt behind his baritone thickness.It was a raw question, sounding like asking “did you really mean it?” but how could you respond to that?

You weren’t together.You were friends.

Just friends.

_Right_?

Yeah, that’s what you agreed on.Maybe you just read him wrong.Maybe you were overthinking.

** You should calm down.  **

“Sorry, sorry,” you shook your head.“No, yeah, I’m good.Just, overreacted.My bad.” You laughed it off, and to your relief, you saw Alphys and Undyne visibly relax.

“S-Sorry for putting you on the spot like that,” Alphys gave you an apologetic smile.You waved it off.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.I’ve been pretty jumpy all day.”

You didn’t see Sans relax.

~~~~~~~~~~

Conversation had started flowing naturally, your anxiety thanked god for that, and you all had shared a couple of laughs from old stories.Overall, you were having a fine time, and you were so happy to have met such amazing friends.Sans’ stupid puns had made you snort more times than you had wanted to admit, and Undyne had boasted her ability to chug down several drinks in a row, all the while challenging you to a couple shots.So, with Alphys, you had thrown back a couple of Grillby’s “Monster Vodka” shots.Apparently, back in the Underground, a couple of human vodka shots were enough to get a monster wildly drunk, so the ‘Monster’ in the name meant that it contained a beastly amount of alcohol.

And it sure as Hell did.

You knew it wasn’t one of your brightest ideas to, once again, test how far your fragile alcohol resistance could get you, but then again, you were with friends.After your Night Sky, which you had admired for a while, you warmed up to the idea, so a couple shots didn’t bother you.

Plus, you had let loose.Anxiety had fallen off your shoulder at some point during your drinking, and you were openly laughing and snorting at jokes.

You felt warmer.Comfortable, even. 

“Oh, oh, oh!(Y/N), you’ll love this story!” Undyne giggled, making you all giddy inside.Hearing that around people you were warming up to made you feel... apart of it.It felt like going on a picnic, in that, you felt comfortable and mostly at ease. You felt content.

“So, we had a little get together one day in the Underground, right?” She started.She was already fighting down laughter, you could tell, so the story had to be hilarious.“And Sans here brings his really nice telescope that he bought when he was super into science, like the nerd he was.We were all excited to see our cave crystals up close, and finally, when the time comes, this bonehead pulls out his expensive ass telescope, and guess what?”

“What?” You were on the edge of your seat.

“No one can see shit out of it,” Undyne was wearing a full blown shit eating smirk, giving Sans a mocking taunt.“This comedian had painted the part that you look through with red paint to get at the kid, and forgot to wash it off!” Undyne was bouncing with laughter, and you quickly joined in, laughing into your palm to muffle the noise.

“But, hey, that’s not all,” Undyne gave you another challenging grin, looking at Sans in friendly teasing.His face was glowing dimly blue, but he did a nice job of hiding his embarrassment behind his hands.“He tried to save the night by picking up some stuff to wash it off, but he used up all his magic by the time he got back, so little hero over here didn’t even get to see the crystals.Poor knucklehead fell asleep.” She laughed at the blue-faced skeleton, who wore a cringing grin at the memory.

“i thought i was real funny teasing the kid, and it was really funny in the moment,” he winced, defeatedly giving off two chuckles.“damn my unmotivated self.”

You snickered about the event, glancing at Sans after he confirmed its truthfulness.

A thought crossed your mind.

Maybe that wasn’t great, considering your drunken state, but you listened to it.

** Why didn’t he just say lazy self? **

** It wasn’t a big deal... **

** But he could’ve said lazy self instead of unmotivated.Yet he didn’t. **

** He’s unmotivated? **

You... You stopped calling yourself lazy after you had been diagnosed with depression and executive dysfunction, to which you knew you had a task that you should’ve been completing, and you knew you could’ve in that moment, and yet your body just refused a will to get up.It was the strangest form of lack of ability. The task at hand would be so clear, and simple to complete. Say, taking a shower. You’d know it would be there. You knew you’d have to shower, and yet, your body refused to listen to your head, which would be screaming, “You need a shower. Take a shower. Take a shower. Take a shower. You need one. _Take a shower. Come on. Take a shower. You need a shower! Take a shower! **Get up! Go to the bathroom and take a shower! Come on!—**_ ” and on.

You were unmotivated.

Everything was a blur.

Days passed.It felt the same.

He felt like that?

No, you were jumping to conclusions.

But depression was common.Who was to say it wasn’t common in monsters?

And hadn’t he said stuff like that in the past?

How about when your mind wandered in the car, and you had started crying.Sans immediately assumed he was at fault.

“i'm so sorry, if i did something again, or if i said something... oh god, please, (y/n), just please say something, please, i'm so sorry”

He was begging you for forgiveness for something that he wasn’t even sure he committed.

_Immediate blame on himself._

“when they tear that out from under you so easily, it’s tough to get back up”

_Trouble bouncing back._

He’s been through something, possibly traumatic or damaging, and he must’ve had quite the battle trying to get back to normal.

He... There was no way he was fine.

_But you weren’t about to talk to him about that._

_How do you bring that up?_

“Hey!I jumped to a few conclusions and thought that you might be severely depressed, or worse!Do you wanna confide your darkest secrets in me to help you feel better?”

**Maybe not the best way to go.**

_Maybe something along that._

**No, don’t do that.You guys are hardly close.That’s too much to ask from him.**

_Come on, just ask him._

**No!Don’t do that!You’re at a dinner!**

With the burning of previous shots still trickling in your throat, you kept a neutral expression while you looked to Sans, who felt your eyes, and turned to return your gaze.

He gave you a smile, a lingering sign to show someone had just shared another story, and a silent question of “why are you looking at me?”

You just smiled back, giving him a silly grin instead of unleashing a question swimming around in the pool of wonderment that filled your head.He smiled a bit wider at your silent action, and that cooled off some steam clouding up in your brain.He faced back towards Alphys and Undyne, laughing on about some new story about tomatoes.

You couldn’t rid the question—

_what was he hiding?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh jesus it’s been quite some time. but don’t worry, i’m getting a blast of energy and (i know i say this a lot) but there SHOULD be a new chapter around tuesday!!! i’m so sorry, but school and everything is killing me and i’ve had near no free time :’( i love you all though !!! i hit 2000 hits !!!! i love you guys !!!! and how many kudos was it??? 135??? more???? i can’t believe that!!!!!! <3333 thank you guys for enjoying my share of skeleton love <3 :) hope this is good


	16. Fuckin’ Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was so close to making a good chapter. so close. if i had just tied the ending up, but that’s okay. i’ll be better next chapter!!! and i’ve gotta stop with all this goddamn angsty shit. also making the reader an alcoholic like jesus. anyway - u and sans admit some things to each other, but nothing happens past it. hope u like ! <3

“See you tomorrow, Undyne!” she slurred, drawing out the ‘S’ sound.After a small while, the alcohol really started kicking in from the shots, and she and Alphys had been drunkenly snickering together for a bit.

Sans offered her his arm so she wouldn’t stumble around to the motorcycle, and she looped her entire arm with his, practically holding his hand.

“Thank you for helping me walk, slippers,” she giggled.He grinned.

“no problem, but next time, i’d cut back on the alcohol.or just, don’t try the monster vodka again.” She snorted.

“Why shouldn’t I?” she looked up at him with a big dopey face, and he looked away, bones blueing.

“it’s kinda strong... and it’s used generally by monsters that... are tryna forget something.”

She gasped.

“Can my memory be erased?” 

Her laughed, but shook his head, and tried to explain it to her.

“nah, it’s just... like they wanna forget something that happened, so they use that sort of drink as a way to... distract themselves.”

“I wanna forget Henry,” she murmured, looking at the pavement and curling up closer to his arm.“But!I haven’t been missing him much now that we’re hanging out more!And thank you, for coming to Grillby’s with me.” She had a childish grin back on her pretty lips again, obviously the thought of her ex had come and gone like a bad aftertaste. 

Sans forced back his magic from gathering in his face, nervous he looked like a lightbulb.

“i’m happy to, sweets.i like hanging out with ya.‘m glad we’re friends.” Uh oh, was he pushing it?He should stop saying you two were friends out loud. _Did he seem clingy?He should just shut up.He shouldn’t—_

“Me too,” she leaned her head on his shoulder.He heard a breath emit from her, and his thoughts immediately scattered.“I like talking with you.”

**OH FUCK SHE’S SO CUTE BUT SO DRUNK SHIT JUST GET HER BACK TO HER PLACE**

“o-oh,” he stammered.“thanks, (y/n), it means a lot.” She flustered him up easily, and he hated it.

Drunkenly admitting that she liked talking to him was definitely enough to make him catch on his breath—not to mention, enough to dart his white eye lights around the scenery, trying to avoid glancing at her.It was honestly insane how much he cared about the movements he would make, and how much he cared about how much they would impact their relationship.If this were back in the Underground, with the kid, and the resets, and all his friends... he wouldn’t care what came out of his mouth.It would reset anyway.Sure, he wouldn’t do anything too rash because for the couple of days, or weeks, or months, or—even sometimes—YEARS of torturing paranoia of wondering what would make the kid reset, he wanted to at least have some friends around him to keep him feeling at least a sense of false security.But it was just him recklessly being himself.He never spent a second thought on most of his decisions.

But at that moment?With her looping her arm into his for balance and leaning on him right after she had admitted that her ex of _three years_ didn’t seem like a big deal with him around?

He didn’t exactly want to screw these times up.

Why?

He couldn’t answer that.He didn’t seem to have one.Either that, or the one he was thinking of was too difficult for him to come to terms with.

Instead, he blamed it on his want to at least leave a good impression on people.

“Do you ever just... wish for something better?”

Her removed voice of hope made Sans look at her in slight concern.It wasn’t everyday he heard someone who wore a lot of fake smiles openly start bubbling about what they wished from the world.

“as a guy who lived somewhere trapped in a separate society for most of his life,” he couldn’t help but sprinkle a bit of his old hopeless self in, “i think i know the feeling.” It was depressing.But if she wanted to talk about shit on her mind, well, the last thing Sans would do was shut her down.

“Oh, yeah,” she mumbled, sadly.“I’m so sorry about that.”

**great, now she doesn’t feel like she can talk about her problems.**

“well, i’m here now, aren’t i?i’m good.” He hoped he could salvage whatever she would open up about.Trust might not come easy to her, but he wanted to help her.“what do ya wish for, sweet tooth?”

She was quiet.The sound of their footsteps in sync on the pavement approaching the motorcycle lightly filled Sans’ head.

“Something different,” she spoke.

“what do ya mean?”

“Everything I do... it feels routine.I take pills every morning, I get ready for work, I stay for hours, I get paid enough, I go back to my apartment, I eat a small meal, and I crash.Restart.” She said it all in a pent up tone.She probably felt like that: wound up.

“Same with my younger self.I’d wake up, get ready for school, drive in, stay for too long, drive home, do homework, crash.” She sighed.

“I want to own a bike,” she sounded far away. Metaphorically, of course.She was right next to him, after all.

Her voice sounded like it was reminiscing a memory from another life, though, and like she couldn’t be brought back down.

So Sans didn’t bring her back down.

“A cream-colored, brown-seated, 1950s-looking bike.I want to put a picnic basket in the basket, and I want to ride to a hill somewhere, away from everyone else, and just sit.I want to sit on a breezy day in a jacket, eating grapes and peanut butter sandwiches, watching the clouds pass and birds fly, and leave everything behind.” Her voice cracked.“I want to see my dad again.I want to eat with him.I want to see the stars with him again, and watch him get all excited when I asked about them.I want to listen to him go on about them and how mysterious they were.I want to show him a Night Sky.” A hiccup babbled out.“I want to watch the sun set, and listen to songs that make me cry while it happens.I want to... to... I...” Her voice trickled into weak sniffles and soft, broken cries.

~~~~~~~~~~

_**Pain**_.

It pained him to see her like that.He felt it in his SOUL even, the low and steady thrum of defeat that encompassed hers, weakly throbbing out melodies of melancholy and ache, just barely getting through.

_**Despair**_.

She had lost most hope.He wondered if it was purely the alcohol that was swaying her moods, or if she was literally just giving up in his arms.Either way, it was reminiscent of dark times he had been through as well, and seeing her like it was... SOUL shattering.

~~ _just give up.i did._ ~~

“Why... Why do you ha-hang out with me-e?” She sobbed, stopping in front of the motorcycle, and letting thick and heavy tears spill like her eyes were cracks in glasses.“I-I’m worthless.I’m nothing.All I do is cry, a-a-and whine, and complain, and cause proble-ems, and I... I’m terrible.”

He didn’t know how to stop her.

So he just told her to.

“stop,” his voice came out raw, frail.It sounded akin to a person standing at the edge of a cliff, one small shove could make the difference.One more word would make the difference between shaky but still, and cracked and fallen composure.“i... i can’t... listen to ya like this anymore.”

Her shoulders fell even more.

“n-not like that!i-i didn’t mean it like that.” He sighed, feeling like he’d already lost his grip on her slivered will.“i meant that i... can’t let ya keep hating yourself.the shit you’re saying, it just... it isn’t true, (y/n).plain and simple.”

He took her wetted hands in his, preventing her from wiping away anymore of her sloppy tears.

“ya... you’re probably my favorite person to talk to.and ya don’t just cry.i know because when i see ya smile—” he leaned barely closer— “your _real_ smile, it’s unforgettable.it looks... great on ya.and... i know ya don’t just complain because... because you’ve listened to me bitch about my brother, my work schedule, my brother’s crush, and a shit load more.ya’ve been going through a lot, too, (y/n), so your complaints are warranted.after all, who would be completely fine after they were brutally betrayed by their partner?no one.considering ya haven’t slashed his tires or burned his shit or whatever, ya’ve been pretty damn mature for the most part.and... you’re not... a problem causer.the only problem... that ya’ve caused...”

She looked into his eyes, her reciprocates red, puffy, and harboring runny mascara that left faint tracks of black cascading down her cheeks.But, besides physical appearance, they had hope.His words... had given her hope.He felt his face burn with nerves as his next couple of words slipped out without his consent.

“... is how much ya’ve made me care for ya.”

Her eyes widened, breath cutting short in shock.

_shit, was that a good thing?!damn it, sans, you fuck everything up!this is why you stopped caring!because when you do, every decision is wrong!!_

“You... really care for me?” she whispered, a stutter faint between some words.

_wait._

_was that... a nervous stutter..._

_or a drunk stutter?_

_oh god._

“yes,” he answered, gripping her hands tighter.“i... i can’t watch ya break yaself.i... i care too much to watch that happen.and... i care more than i should.” He shouldn’t have done that.Confessing to someone who’s drunk and not making normal decisions was a rocky move.

“Why shouldn’t you care so much?”

Contradiction.The actual question would’ve sounded rude and almost narcissistic, but the way it moved off her lips?It was _more_ than a question of self-worth.

It was a question of background.

“i’ve... _tried_ to care about others before... but... every time i do... something _happens_ to them.and now, i care too much about ya.if something happens to ya, i... i don’t know that i’ll be okay.”

She stared into his sockets, tears bubbling up to the surface of her eyes, but before they could slip—

She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms as tightly around him as she could, pulling him closer with each mewl she let muffle in his jacket.

Sans wrapped his arms right back around her, grasping at her hair and her shirt, _clinging_ to her.He tucked his skull into the crook of her neck, taking inhales of her scent, of her bittersweet, vanilla and coffee bean, late night popcorn aroma.She smelled like her voice, like misery hidden under sweet deceptions.It was everything Sans had felt resonating from her, and he couldn’t get enough of it.In fact, with how much had been said, and the intensity of their embrace, Sans felt blue tears spring to his squinted sockets, and he held her tighter.

(Y/N) returned it, burrowing her head closer into the fluff of the collar of his jacket. 

There were whispers exchanged between the two, sorrowful, needy whispers of desperation.Desperation for care.

“i can’t lose you, too,” Sans cried. “i can’t lose ya, sweets.” Sans found warm and wet comfort in her hug, from his tears that soaked into her shirt to her soft skin that pulled him somehow closer.He didn’t even realize she could.

“You won’t,” she sniffled, ragged breaths shaking from her lips.“You won’t.I’m so sorry.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You were still letting quiet tears trickle and fall off your chin while your arms stayed snaked around Sans’ body.Your head leaned on his back, eyes shut and still they burned.

You felt so tired.Sitting on the back of a motorcycle, resting your legs only relieved you of slight fatigue, but, being pressed against the one monster that understood you, you didn’t mind sitting there longer.

He pulled up by your apartment, and gradually, the bike stopped.Your eyes fluttered and blinked open, half-lidded.After a moment of silence, of sweet shallow breaths, you picked your head from his backside.

There was a fragile, yet alarming, touch on your thigh.It didn’t scare you.It was treating your skin like a piece of glassware, of chinaware. 

The touch lingered for a second, asking if you were okay, telling you he cared, before it rose off of you.

You stood up, following the movements of your sober confidant.

Tranquility sat in place of conversation, but you didn’t mind.There was nothing awkward about it, surprisingly.It was only... peace.

After you were footed at your door, you looked to Sans with your apprehensive irises.

“are you okay, (y/n)?” he asked lowly, knowingly.

“Stay,” your lip quivered.“Please.Just for tonight.”

He debated something in his head, and, for a second, you believed he was lying to you earlier.His white pupils glanced carefully between your blotchy and irritated counterparts, then he sighed.

“okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

There was something easing, cooling even, about having sobbed your heart out to someone who somehow understood your agony—who understood how defeated life could make you.Additionally, sleeping next to them that same night was pleasant.For you, it was comfort cuddles with heavy-set bones.It was subtle delight in a steady rhythm you could hear from you-couldn’t-trace-where, which was oddly melodic to your ears.It was his yellow sweatshirt draped around your body.It was the smell of him biting into your sheets—into your pillows—so you’d still feel him in your bed for days on.It was his feet sometimes straying off and touching yours, reminding you that bones weren’t all that warm.It was snuggling into his chest, feeling the ridges of his ribs. 

It wasn’t weird.

It was everything you needed then, and everything you had ever needed.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to someone gently shaking my arm, but considering where I was, it could’ve only been one person.

“Hey, Sans,” a voice followed with the touch, slow as honey.“Wake up, slippers.I have to leave for work in a bit, and I don’t wanna leave you here.”

My bones groaned as I rose up to sit, a try of resistance to the inevitable end of sweet sweet sleep.I stretched, and a couple of my joints popped back into place.There was a peak of sunlight cascading into the room through the blinds, illuminating (Y/N)’s face.

“Good morning, sleepy skull,” she giggled.“There’s some coffee waiting for you in the kitchen.I don’t know what else you like, but you’re welcome to have whatever is left of my ketchup supply.I don’t use it often.”

That was something to wake up to.

**can i wake up to that every day?**

_keep dreaming._

**i was trying to.**

“can ya come over here?” I gestured to the space I left between my legs at the edge of the bed.

She followed as I asked, and stood in between my kneecaps.

I let my arms sleepily drape around her body, pulling her familiar scent into mine.She didn’t resist, but instead, she hooked her arms behind my neck, caressing the bone.Caressing my sensitive bones with her soft fingertips.

**wow that feels nice.**

_are her hands really that soft?_

**stars, they’re like baby pillows.**

My skull nestled into her belly, and I sighed into her top.

“Thank you for staying over,” she whispered, and there was a sprinkle of shame in her voice.“I know... with all that’s happened... it was a lot to ask, and I’m sorry—“

“i’m gonna stop ya there, sweets,” I cut her off.Kinda jerky, maybe.But not for the reason.“i’m here for ya if ya need someone, okay?don’t feel bad about asking for help.like i told ya last night, i really care about ya.”

“You say that a lot.”

“and i’ll keep saying it ‘til ya believe it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry for making u guys wait so long for last chapter. this is a gift for u guys bc i feel so bad. also - this is well written until the end. i’m proud of this shit yo. love u guys. 2000 hits, 30 bookmarks?! seriously!!!! i love u guys!!! AND i love u guys. just wanted to say it again!!!! <3 <3 <3 this slow burn might get a little toasty... pretty quickly!!! :D


	17. Not A Chapter! (Don’t worry, it’s good news! sort of )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! disclaimer and announcement !

hey everyone! you guys are being so amazing by being so damn patient and i’m so sorry for taking so long, but !!!! in good news!!!! i have the next several chapters mapped out, but writing is just taking longer than i’d hoped. they might be shorter chapters just so i can get them out to u guys. 

also!!!!

i love constructive criticism. if u guys notice something in my writing i could improve upon, please let me know!!!! <3

however, if you just comment on my work to tell my book to suck nuts because of a plot point, i’m fine with you leaving. i’m trying my best on this book, and everything is mentioned in the tags, so if u have certain things that derail you from the book or make you not want to read it, i understand, and i’m sorry my book isn’t for you. but please do not comment that my book is boring and lame and unoriginal. i really am doing my best to work on this book whenever i can, and i’m working to put my best writing in. please. let me write in peace.

for those of you patiently waiting for a new chapter, i can assure a halloween theme chapter by friday, and if i’m lucky, a chapter adding to the plot by sunday :) love u guys! i’m feeling a lot better!! i’m still in my depression, but my days feel less gray, i’m more in touch with my emotions, i don’t hate myself when i look in the mirror, and i made a good volleyball team for my club! my crush is talking to me and who gave her the permission to bE THIS HOT!!! she’s literally amazing and i’m in love 😍 anyway, love u guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 i love u all!!!


	18. Oh My God, They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’m so sorry for making you wait longer. i got sick on wednesday, but it was minor so i assumed i could work. on friday, i stayed home from school and even today, i feel like shit. i’m in horrid pain but !!!!! i will!!!! get that halloween special out!!!!!! next chapter i post will be in spirit of the holiday i am (currently) ten days late for :)

“Here,” you said, taking the box off her hands.“I’ll take this to the bedroom and start unloading your stuff.” Undyne gave you a wide grin, and stacked two other boxes on one she was already carrying.

“Gotcha!I have a few things I’ll start unpacking in the bathroom, and... some extra glasses and plates and shit.”

You nodded, and trudged with the load of clothes to the bedroom you’d end up sharing.

You set the box down with a thud, heaving a sigh after it landed.You opened up the drawers that used to harbor Henry’s clothes, and started folding her tops to fit in.A few were shirts you had seen in stores, and others just looked like athletic shirts and tank tops.You figured that made sense. 

After a bit of folding and sorting into drawers, you picked yourself up off the floor to hang up the fancier clothes she brought.Then, finally, you finished with the clothes.You gave a huff, and headed back to the car to grab the rest of her stuff.

A slap of cold air whipped at your face, and instinctively, your arms hugged your torso for any warmth.Thankfully, you were wearing a jacket against the harsh winds, so at least you had something to protect your arms.But, quite embarrassingly, the jacket wasn’t yours.It wasn’t your ex’s either, thank god.

It was Sans’s.

His jacket from yesterday, the bright mustard yellow sweatshirt itself, was providing sweet, sweet comfort upon your sensitive arms.It was reminiscent of the cuddling between you and Sans last night.You put your hand to your mouth in embarrassment.

_ It even smelled like him. _

The odd mixture of ketchup, bar stools, and gasoline, but besides that, it smelled like the comfort you always found in him.The smell of crying your heart out while you hugged him, the smell of holding him tight on the back of his bike, the smell of everything sweet to you. 

It was so dizzyingly euphoric.

There was a soft smile on your face as you walked back inside (Undyne had already taken all her stuff back inside apparently).It seemed that happened more often.The smiling.

Undyne was putting a couple of different mugsin the cabinet with yours, and you went over to help with the other dishes to put into the cabinets.There were a couple of Tupperware containers and a few convenient tea bag holders.

“So you’re a tea gal?” You asked, finding an open spot in the small cabinet.

“Fuhuhu, yeah.It’s a bit of a shocker I’ve heard.” She laughed, easing into a simple conversation.“People expect me to drink something stronger, or as they like to put it, something a little less girly.”

She gave a huff, and you sympathized with her by letting her continue.

“Is that a thing up here?” She sounded annoyed, like she had been wanting to ask the question for some time.“I mean, I guess I knew that humans wouldn’t welcome us with open arms considering history, but making fun of people for being women?Is that another degrading thing?”

You gave an equally as frustrated sigh.

“Yeah,” you stared at the counter for a second.“It’s a stereotype, y’know?Females are the weaker sex, so calling someone a woman means they’re weak.It was started by some jackass who probably got dumped or something.It’s actually taken a lot to get us to have the same rights as men.Kinda stupid if you ask me.There shouldn’t have been a difference in the first place.”

“That’s utter bullshit.What good would come of that?” She agreed.“All it’s doing is making half the planet upset and treated unequal.That’s just... so dumb!Like... what else would it do?Make the men feel good about their sorry asses?That’s so stupid!” 

“Exactly,” you said.“It’s something that just sort of makes me sad to think about.Anyways, when did you start liking tea?”

_ Wow you’re great at conversation. _

“Well, when I was little, a shopkeeper from the Underground took me in,” she sighed.“My parents had died in battle, and Gerson had just gotten back, found me hysterical.”

She stopped taking things out of the box for a moment.

“When I lived with him, the guy let me have some of his tea that he got from Asgore.He and Asgore were on pretty good terms considering he was known for being dedicated to serving for the monsters.I got to meet the big pushover a few times for tea.So, yeah.”

“Oh,” you weren’t sure what to say exactly.“Undyne, I’m so sorry about your parents—”

“Bah, it’s in the past now.I was a bit too little to even really remember them, if I’m honest.Sorry for getting all sappy on you.” She had a gleam in her eye again, and you were surprised to see her smile reached her eyes.“Anyways, I’m seeing a lot of coffee mugs in here.You a coffee person?”

With how quickly she glossed over her past, you thought it was best to continue conversation lightly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled. “And I work at a coffee shop, too.I basically run on coffee.” This received a chuckle in return, and Undyne asked, “What else do you usually eat?”

“Well, if I’m just tired, ramen for dinner.Cereal is one of my go-to’s for breakfast, and spaghetti for dinner if I want leftovers.After work sometimes, I’ll head to a bakery down the street for a muffin or something.Also, I probably have ice cream in the freezer.”

“You’re healthy,” she joked.“I like ramen, too, though, and I can make some bomb ass spaghetti.But, you know, Muffet was pretty popular in the Ungerground.She had a scary ass pet though.That cupcake thing was like her baby, but everyone else was scared shitless of it.

“But besides those, I know a really good sandwich shop on the corner we could go to like... once a week or something?I don’t know.Whatever ends up working.I’ve got a good feeling about you, (Y/N).”

You smiled at her, a happy smile shining off your face right at her.She already liked you.Maybe things would be alright.

“Me too, Undyne.”

~~~~~~~~~~

** Roughly a month later... **

“I’m in the mood for a muffin.How about you?” You huffed, staring at the mouthwatering muffin in the window of Muffet’s.

“Sure!We’ve been pretty good this week.We deserve that damn muffin!” You nodded with her motivational way of talking, and excitedly walked through the doors to greet an tired looking Muffet.

A sweet aroma of everything heavenly in the world swirled up in your head.You could practically taste the (F/Dessert) on your tongue. 

You waved as the door hit a tiny bell, alerting the spider girl.Her head rose, all five exhausted eyes glancing in your direction.

Her expression changed quickly, overflowing with relief and happiness while she rushed over to greet you.

With all six of her arms, (it would be eight, but she’d rather keep her feet on the ground) she engulfed you in a monster hug—literally.

“Oh, Miss (Y/N)!I’ve missed you, dearie!” You returned her excitement, warmly greeting one of your few friends in Ebbot City. 

“Sorry I haven’t been visiting lately—money’s been tight.” You apologized, and she immediately drew away from the hug.

“Tight?Dearie, tell me you’re feeding yourself!Nope, this settles it, one (F/Dessert) for you on the house!Fuhuhu~!”

“Oh, it’s really no big deal, Muff—”

“No, no, no, dearie!Unacceptable!I won’t let any of my customers go hungry!Especially you, (Y/N)!I will be right back!Oh, and for you, Miss Undyne, you seem like a salted caramel lady.I will bring out a good dish for you as well!” She scurried off to her kitchen, giggling all the way there.

“So,” you heard Undyne hum.“You and Muffet are pretty close.” You chuckled, a few memories replaying in your head of you meeting Muffet, and then later on, becoming a regular at her bakery.

“Yeah,” you smiled, almost sadly, “she’s been there for me through a lot.”

***

_ A warm summer breeze wafted past your arms, brushing your jacket up with the light wind.Your shoes held a constant sound of patter against the sidewalk, filling the air just like the busy cars next to you did. _

_ But you couldn’t hear them. _

_ Your were drowned in your own headspace, staring at the sidewalk three feet in front of you. _

_ It was the day right after your father’s funeral.You were in sensitive mourning. _

_ So, with tears just brimming your lids, you numbly shoved your weight against the door to Muffet’s.You felt raw. _

_ You walked up to the counter, and silently waited for her to approach. _

_ When she did, all five of her eyes held a different layer of sympathy. _

_ “Dearie!Is everything alright?” She asked, but her voice lowered, trying not to stir attention.You hesitantly shook your head, vision blurring with oncoming tears. _

_ “Do you get off soon?” _

_ She nodded, eyes understanding. _

_ “Of course, I’ll... I’ll be right back.Go ahead and take the booth near the windows.”  _

_ You nodded, “Thanks, Muff.” _

_ You sat where she told you to, fiddling your thumbs while you waited.  _ What were you even going to do here?Make her pity you?

**_ No... You needed company.You’re allowed to need help. _ **

_ Just **talk** to her. _

_ “How are you, dearie?You seem upset.I brought you a spider doughnut.” She set the doughnut on the napkin she had brought, and folded a pair of her hands on the table.Another pair of hands rubbed your back in light, soothing circles. _

_ So, you spilled your grief. _

***

“That’s cool.I’ve never personally known her.” Undyne nodded.“But she’s really compassionate.I mean, giving people free food when they don’t have a lot in their pocket?That’s some saint shit right there.I don’t remember her being like that back in the Underground.”

That made you a bit interested.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, when the kid, now our ambassador, was in the Underground, they battled Muffet.Apparently Muffet was giving ‘em easier attacks if they paid for it.But, it kinda made sense.She didn’t have a lot in her pockets.Pretty broke I’m sure.She’s been having luck here on the surface though.”

You felt sympathy for Muffet, as you were oblivious to her past self since she didn’t like talking about it. 

“Oh, she usually doesn’t talk about it, so I had no idea.” 

“I get that.Alphys is the same way.She was apart of some bad experiment in her old lab, and she refuses to get into details.It was... a really hard time for her.” Undyne smiled after she finished talking.“I’m just happy she’s back to her normal self.I thought for a while that she’d never work in a lab again.She was terrified.But, thankfully, she’s back to spending hours on her laptop bingeing TV shows, and picking up extra shifts for her coworkers.”

You felt a warm sensation fill your chest.

“I’m glad she feels better,” you said.“She’s very good in her field.My hand healed up in a week with her help.And, I’m pretty did it was broken in, like, three different places.” You moves your hand around to emphasize it.It felt new.

Undyne boomed in laughter.

“Oh my god, yeah, she’s like insane with that shit.One time, I when I was training with Papyrus, Sans’ brother, I strained my shoulder.”

For a second, you were thrown into your own headspace at the mention of Sans.You were getting a picture of his brother, Papyrus, who you assumed to be sort of scolding, hard-working, friendly, buff skeleton.You had been gathering from Sans’ and Undyne’s stories.Plus, since Sans had some heavy-set bones, as you liked to call them, you thought Papyrus might.

Then you thought about Papyrus being in training with this butch, Undyne, and then the thought of Sans trying to workout popped in your head.

With your knowledge, he was powerful.He absolutely demolished the guy who assaulted you some time ago.But, he was also tellingly lazy.From his moseying gait, to his slow, baritone voice, to his thrown back collapse into cushions, he didn’t seem like the type to workout.It was almost comical in your head.

“She had some sort of adhesive pad that attached to my scales, and that thing healed my shoulder in like two days.It was amazing.I was back to kicking ass with zero problems.”

You laughed, fascinated in more of Alphys’ work.

Muffet scurried up to your table after you and Undyne talked for a bit more.

“Here’s one (F/Dessert) for you, Miss (Y/N), and a cream and caramel filled doughnut with a drizzle of salt and sugar for you, Miss Undyne.Enjoy the treats, dearies!”

You thanked Muffet, and happily dove into your dish. 

“I’m so excited that it’s Friday tomorrow,” you grinned.“One more day of this work week, then it’s the weekend!” You loved the weekend.More recently, you and Sans had been hanging out a lot, and you had attended a couple of his comedy acts on Saturdays.He loved seeing you there, and sometimes, he’d pop in a joke that had happened between the two of you, almost like a special feature because you knew him.It made you excited to attend.

“Yeah, me too!” Undyne flashed a wide grin.“Alphys and I are planning something big for our two year anniversary.” Your mouth gaped.

“Oh my god!Congratulations!That’s amazing!” You felt enormously happy for the couple, especially since Undyne had been such a help to you, and Alphys seemed to make Undyne very happy.You were just elated for the pair.

“Yeah, and um,” Undyne stared at her doughnut, smiling timidly.“I’m gonna propose to her.”

Your jaw dropped.

“Oh. My. God.”

You could not contain your ecstatic squealing.

“Undyne!This is huge!” You grabbed her, pulling her into a bear hug.“I’m so happy for you!”

“Aw, thanks, punk,” she fidgeted with her fork.“You think she’ll say yes?”

You almost laughed.“Undyne, considering the way she can talk about you for hours on end, I’d say your chances are pretty damn good.”

You saw the shade of her scales darken along her cheeks.

“She... talks about me?” She sounded very nervous, which didn’t happen often.

“She adores you,” you assured her.“Trust me, you’re making the right decision.”

Undyne smiled, and in that moment, you felt so balanced.

~~~~~~~~~~

** Later that night... **

You took another bite of your sandwich, then set it down on the plate in your lap. 

A buzz in your back pocket alerted you, and you shuffled around to take your phone out.

**slippers** : _hey r u busy on saturday_

You thought about it for a moment, and then remembered you literally don’t do anything.

**sweet tooth** : _well i was gonna go to see my friend do a comedy act at a bar while getting drunk, but what did u have in mind? :)_

**slippers** : _lmfao there’s a party being held by an old friend of mine at her mansion_

**slippers** : _wanna come w me?_

You flushed a light pink.

Whenever he invited you places, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit... cozy inside.

**sweet** **tooth** : _yeah! totally! that sounds awesome!_

Well, you threw subtlety out the gate quite the while ago.

**slippers** : _nice.i’ll send u the info tmr or smthn.see ya around sweets_

Sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is shitty. and i’m sorry. i think my fever is affecting the way i write. anyways, i’m so sorry. i hope u guys like the good parts. oh and you remember the girl i drooled over? well, she’s bi like me!!!! i didn’t tell her i was hopelessly in love w her, but i am so glad she understands me and i am falling deeper in love w her. anyways. i am working very hard thru my fever and i’m so happy u guys were so supportive last chapter!!!! love u all <3


	19. Oops, I Did It Again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lotta things. you don’t have a roommate anymore !!!!!! GASP!!!!

**slippers** : _so the party is at like 7 2nite, can u still make it?_

**sweet tooth** : _yeah man i can’t wait!_

**slippers** : _nice, i’ll pick u up at 6:30_

**sweet tooth** : _oh hey um, idk if my dress will fit on the motorcycle .. did u happen to have a car? it’s fine if u don’t - i can prob wear smthn else_

**slippers** : _nah it’s good.i’ll borrow papyrus’ ride.he’s got the red convertible_

**sweet tooth** : _ah!! thank u so much!!! tell paps i said thanks!_

**slippers** : _will do sweets_

~~~~~~~~~~

He knocked on the old paint of the red apartment door, swallowing as he did so.His kneecaps started aching, for his nerves were the only thing he could think about.

_why did i get her a flower._

_this isn’t a date._

_she doesn’t like you._

_why would you do that._

_it’s weird._

_she’s gonna hate you._

_she’ll never talk to you again._

_you absolute moron—_

The door opened slowly, and Sans almost couldn’t breathe.

Of course she had to look that much out of his league on the day he was going to try and make a move.

Her (F/C) dress that was decorated with a long, revealing slit up the left leg had straps crisscrossing over the back, leaving her back vulnerable to eyes from behind.Sans hadn’t seen that part yet, though.He did see the matching colored high heels that went with the dress, and her hair, which she had (curled/straightened) to perfection, leaving no piece untouched. 

“Hey, good looking,” she smiled.

Sans almost didn’t process it.He didn’t know what to say.She... She looked...

“what’s up?”

**....**

**WHAT?!**

**YOU... SHE’S... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS... AND YOU SAY THAT?!**

“So, what do you think?” She gave him a twirl.

He couldn’t form the words.She was taking his breath away.

“ya look nice.”

_are you_ fucking _joking._

_if you are planning on making a move, don’t make her feel like shit in the beginning of the night.start putting yourself out there, you absolute fucking idiot._

Her smile, which was wide as could be, slighted, and he could tell it was because of him.

“i-i mean... ya look stunning, sweets.i’m sorry, ya just... took my breath away.”

“Sans, if that was another skeleton pun, I swear to God—”

“nah, i swear.ya look... really... good.”

“Pfft,” she chuckled, and her face lit up again.“Thanks, slippers.”

Her attention targeted on the glowing blue flower sitting in a pot in his hands.She glanced between it and his irises, which had grown a bit in size.

“Whatcha got?”

He felt beads of sweat chill his body, and he gulped before he spoke.

“it’s called an echo flower,” he said shyly.“it’s from, uh, the underground.we had a place there, called waterfall, and these were like... everywhere down there, but, um, i saw it, and thought ya might like it.” He tried to force down the nerves clamoring in his throat, but they pushed through to make his voice unsteady.He hated it.

“It’s beautiful!” She gushed, in awe at the luminous flower.“Oh my god, it looks so cool!”

Sans thought he might’ve been having a stroke from how hard his SOUL was throbbing in his ribs.

“oh, then, ya might like this trick.” Sans winked, a drop of sweat tracing the back of his skull like a secret.

“flower you today, sweets?” he asked the flower, but his eyes were set into (Y/N)‘s.

He flicked the flower with his phalanges, watching her reaction as he did so.

And the flower repeated his lazy, low-toned voice right back, like it was him who was saying it.

“ _flower you today, sweets?_ ” 

(Y/N)’s pupils seemed like two new moons, huge and complete with stunning features.

“Wha—” she stammered.“Did it just... copy you?” Her voice rang with wonder and bewilderment, and Sans’ grin stayed.

“heh, it’s not called an echo flower for nothing, sweets,” he winked.“go ahead, give it a try.”

Her vision blinked to the flower, and her lips turned up into a beam.

“This is amazing,” she sparkled, eyes twinkling like silver.

The flower echoed. 

She squealed.

“This is unreal!” She flicked the flower.

It echoed.

Her smile widened.

“Thank you, Sans!This gift... I... It’s perfect!I-I love it!” Her cheeks were flushed a hot pink with her joviality.Sans’ SOUL buzzed out of control.

“anything for ya, sweets,” he said.“i’m just glad ya liked it.”

Her smile was so bright, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen it before.

“Should I...?” she asked, making a sort of gesture into her apartment.

“yeah, you can, uh, drop it off.oh, um, they need a bit of watering.once or twice a day is good.”

“Sure!” she smiled, heading back in for only a moment.

When she came back out, Sans held out an arm, like he usually did when ‘escorting’ her somewhere.Yes, of course he did it as a friendly joke, but truthfully, he liked the way her arm hooked in his so well.Like, a puzzle piece. 

She giggled, like usual when he did that, and looped her arm into his.

They snickered and chatted for just a bit to the bright red sports car, which Papyrus had lent Sans.It didn’t come without cost, though, and Sans promised to have it back to the party by the time it would start.Or, as Papyrus had put it, “NO LOLLYGAGGING OR DOING DONUTS WITH MY GLAMOROUS AUTOMOBILE.”

Yeah.

Sans opened the car door for (Y/N), bowing his head like a gentleman.

“So chivalrous,” she giggled as she stepped into the car.Sans gave her a cheeky grin and closed her door for her, heading around the car to his own door.

Sans took a breath, focusing his thoughts on his goal.

_tonight is about **her**_

_make her feel **special**_

“ya ready, sweet tooth?” he asked, knowing she might be nervous for a bigger event.

She looked to him with anticipation, a scared smile pinching at her face.

“I’m a little bit nervous, not gonna lie,” she pushed her knees together.“I don’t know if I’ll know anyone there, besides you.” 

He pushed his wavering confidence to lay a hand on hers, “there’ll be free fancy food.”

She snorted, giving him a soft nudge in the shoulder.He laughed with her, starting the ignition as he started to speak again.

“but seriously, don’t worry.it’s just my friends from the underground, and they’ll love ya.just... be yourself.”

She made a noise akin to a soft scoff, and fiddled with her thumbs.“Yeah, that’s a great idea.”

Sans just looked at her, waiting for her to return his burning unamused gaze.When she did, she froze under the intimidation.

“it is.” 

Her face’s temperature kicked it up a notch.

He started on the gas, and the convertible sped off.

~~~~~~~~~~

“tori, (y/n).(y/n), tori.” Sans introduced you to his good friend, Toriel, who wore a motherly smile as she shook your hand.

You were going around to meet a lot of Sans’ old pals, plus you got to catch up with Alphys for a bit.Papyrus was busy talking with his famous boyfriend while you were getting around, so Sans promised he’d introduce you in a bit.However, you had encountered Papyrus once or twice in your apartment, cooking spaghetti with Undyne.One time, you got back to a smoking kitchen after work, but Undyne assured you it would be dealt with.Thankfully, she held up her half, and actually fixed it up.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my dear,” Toriel’s eyes shined with age and warmth.“Sans here has told me about you on more than one occasion.” She giggled to herself at Sans’ reaction, which was an embarrassed blue lightbulb hiding behind his hands.

“tori...” He sounded like he was pleading, and it piqued your interest.

“He has?” Your eyes fixed on the skeleton beside you.“What has he said?” A sly smirk tugged at your lips.

_He talked about you?_

_Was it... a bad thing?_

_Oh, God._

Toriel laughed, and put a hand up to her mouth to block whatever she was saying from Sans.

“Don’t worry,” she smiled coyly.“It’s all been very good.”

“tori, not to be rude, but have ya had a drink or two?” Sans cut in.He looked relatively nervous, like he was bouncing to keep you away from whatever she might have let slip.

**It was... good stuff?**

That’s nice to hear.Whenever you talked about Sans to Undyne, it was always something good.After all, you two had only grown closer over the past month.

“I,” she put a hand on her chest, melodramatically, “am completely sober from my martini, an— wait, did I have two?” Toriel scratched her chin, then shrugged.

“None the matter!You two enjoy yourselves!It was so nice to finally put a face to the name!” She smiled, holding your hand again as she walked off.

“So,” you sang, grinning at the blushing skeleton.“What did you tell Toriel—”

“shut up,” he shoved you playfully, hiding the bright blue that was still clear as day.“i didn’t tell her anything.”

You snickered to yourself at his defensive mechanism.

“Of course, of course,” you hummed.

“alright, wise guy, lets go show ya around a bit more.” Sans grumbled at you, making you laugh harder.

Next up were the infamous Papyrus and Mettaton, and you felt inferior in every way possible. 

Papyrus and Mettaton were both nearly a head taller than you, but it wasn’t their height that bothered you all too much, it was more their fashion sense which made you feel lowly in comparison.

Both of them wore suits that looked more expensive than your rent.Mettaton’s outfit consisted of purely white bottoms and the same shade vest, but his dress shirt stood out with a hot pink.His bowtie was also a bright white color, with some added glitter, and his white shoes each modeled some black and pink polka dots.But, his belt was the same hot pink as his dress shirt.He looked bright, sharp, and flamboyant, all at once.

Papyrus’ outfit was slightly classier, a slick gray tone on the suit, and a plain white dress shirt underneath, with a nice peach tie that reminded you of spring.It looked good on him!

“HELLO THERE, AVERAGE SIZED HUMAN!” Papyrus grinned at you, and you thought his mouth might’ve hurt from how big his smile was.

“Hello, darling~!” Mettaton’s voice was sultry, and yet, it seemed to be how he always spoke from how easily it glided off his... robotic tongue?You loved monsters, but describing their anatomy sure was something.

“You look absolutely ravishing!The standards of a model, at the least!” Mettaton showered you in praise and adoration, and you thanked him like it was a mantra.“I must know where you found this dress, too, since I must have such a masterpiece!But I know I probably won’t pull it off as well as you do, darling~!” 

He was quite the flirt. 

Considering Papyrus and him were boyfriends, you were surprised at how unfazed Papyrus was, then he spoke.

“OH, DEFINITELY!YOU LOOK OUTSTANDING, AVERAGE SIZED HUMAN!”

So Papyrus and Mettaton were two supportive people radiating very opposing energies.They were alike, yet so different.One so loud and excitably innocent and the other so cool and silver-tongued somehow matched well.They both allowed each other to be freely themselves, and there was obviously an established bond of trust.They kept each other very comfortably content.

“Thank you, you two are so sweet!” You felt a bright smile shining on your face despite the attempts you made to calm yourself.“You guys look incredible!Mettaton, I love that suit!”

“Of course you do, darling, I made it,” Mettaton winked at you.You flushed, but you knew your place. 

“ISN’T IT MARVELOUS?THE DETAILING IS FLAWLESS, AND THE COLORS SUIT HIM VERY NICELY!” Hearing Papyrus encourage and support his boyfriend made your heart warm.It was just so sweet to you.

“They do, and Papyrus, I love your tie!” You complimented him.“I love that shade of peach!” Papyrus beamed at your comments, and very excitedly looked at his tie.

“THANK YOU, HUMAN!I, TOO, LOVE THIS TIE VERY MUCH!METTATON HELPED ME CHOOSE IT!” Papyrus’ focused his attention on his SO, who flipped his hair dramatically.You swore you could’ve heard someone in the room scream something fan girlish at him.

“Sweetheart, you flatter me,” Mettaton pressed a hand to his chest, smiling seductively at his partner.“Even though you’re the one who’s absolutely killing the look.” Mettaton walked two robotic fingers up Papyrus’ chest, and you took notice of a blush the same color as his tie that lit up Papyrus’ face.

“METTATON!—”

“alright, you two should get a room while i show (y/n) around some more,” Sans cringed at the behavior, and you had to admit, you felt a little bit flustered.

Sans took hold of your hand gently, and walked you and him away from the ‘show’ by Mettaton and Papyrus, which quickly turned into Mettaton dipping the big skeleton.

While the PDA surely made you blush, what really made your heart skip was the skeleton pulling you over to the food table.His hand felt nice in yours, and you liked how easily it fit.

But you wouldn’t admit that.

You were just happy it was happening.

“welp, sorry about my bro back there,” Sans winced, giving you an apologetic smile.

His hand stayed in yours.

You tried not to pay it mind.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, he’s really cool.And everyone has someone that they go crazy for.Mettaton is pretty... open, too.He really likes your brother.”

Sans smiled almost reluctantly.

“yeah.sometimes it just... rubs me the wrong way, y’know?” Sans looked over to you, almost knowing you’d understand.Like there was a connection.

“I get it, he’s your little brother.And Mettaton is kinda out there, so it’s pretty normal, but also, I’d trust your brother to make his own decisions.He seems pretty smitten with that guy.” You felt like you were babbling a little bit, and some of your points were smearing together, but again, you were having a very hard time focusing with Sans’ hand still snuggled between your fingers.

“yeah, i might be being too harsh, but still.i’ll try to come around i guess.” 

There was a sudden emptiness that filled your hand, and you had to force down your disappointment.

“what’re ya thinking about getting?” Sans asked, grabbing two plates for the both of you.You surveyed the food, overwhelmed by the amount of options and how intricate each item looked.

“Oh, I don’t know...” you mumbled. “I think I’m gonna go for... a champagne, and some of that crab dip,” You snatched a champagne from one of the drink tables, quickly sipping down most of the small glass.It bubbled and sizzled down your throat, leaving a sweet yet sparkly sensation, plus a nice burn that settled perfectly on your tongue.

The pita chips that you dipped in the crab dip were baked deliciously, and such cuisine made your mouth water.The crab dip itself paired flawlessly to the chips, and you had to restrain yourself from eating all the dip.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, shoveling more dip into your mouth.“This is amazing.”

“y’should try this combo,” Sans’ muffled voice said as he scarfed down more of his cheese pretzel snack.“not to be _cheesy_ , but this is probably _bread_ -er than whatever ya’ve got.”

You chortled through your mouthful, “Those were bad y’know.”

“ya laughed though.” Sans nudged you in the arm, winking.“let’s head to the desserts table, shall we?” You shoved a few more snacks into your mouth before Sans pulled you away.

You were still so hungry though!The snacks, while divine, did not fill you up!

“Alright, slippers, what’re you thinking here?” You asked him, staring at the dozens of sweets sprawled across the tabletop.

“actually, i was gonna let ya take the lead on this one, sweet tooth.”

You grinned devilishly, and began your feast with the chocolate and vanilla swirled cake pops.Sans, like he said, followed your lead, and took one after you did.

Just like you suspected, it was a great start.The flavors both popped out and blended together delightfully, and you nearly moaned at the taste of it.You took slow, savoring bites of the cake, trying to salvage every last crumb.

“Oh my God,” You were about to cry.“This is incredible.” 

“ya said it, sweets,” Sans sounded about as distracted by the dessert as you were.“this might be the best thing i’ve ever tasted.”

_You wondered what it would taste like off Sans._

Your cheeks burned hot, and you started coughing on your dessert.

“whoa, sweets, ya okay—“

“I-I’m fine!” You started hacking on it again, and instead of letting Sans hold your arm (because it was clear you were losing balance), you tried to shake him off. “I’m okay, I swear!”

“sweets, you’re gonna fall—!”

You yelped.

**...**

He caught you.

Of course he _fucking_ did.

Well, if your hormones weren’t going berserk before, they definitely were after that.

You were suspended in a blue hue with Sans’ arms wrapped around your body.You unnecessarily clung to his chest, especially after you had tried to shove him away.

Oh God things felt weird.

It was awkward, there was tension, and yet, there should have been so many words flying.

So many things said.

You stood slowly, nervously, and Sans helped you upright.

“everything okay, (y/n)?” Sans was asking softly, gently rubbing on your arm for assurance.

“I’m sorry,” you clambered for some sort of excuse. “I’m so sorry, I...”

“hey—” he made sure your eyes were with his— “‘s alright.let’s do something else.”

You took a deep breath, and nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” 

You moved away from the snack table.

~~~~~~~~~~

“yo, check out mr. lanky over there,” Sans subtlety pointed out on the dance floor, and you laughed when you saw who he meant.Someone, about the height of 6’7” or so (the man was a fucking mountain), was getting down on the dance floor, and it looked absolutely hilarious.

Yes, you and Sans were quietly joking to each other about some ridiculous looking people at the party (which was rather packed, so there was no lack of material), and it was honestly so funny.

“How about Sir Bust-A-Move?” You asked him, gesturing to the guy who was trying to go crazy, but ended up knocking into some girl, and so she tripped as well.

You and Sans had to cover your mouths with your hands to not be too loud as a reaction. 

It felt so good, the silence was gone from earlier, and you two were comfortable again.

Everything felt nice.

Then Undyne and Papyrus came over, both looking relatively nervous to speak.

“what’s up bro?” Sans greeted.

“Hey, Undyne!” You said.

“Hey, (Y/N), can I talk to you real quick?” Undyne asked.

“HELLO, BROTHER!MAY WE SPEAK IN PRIVATE?” Papyrus anxiously smiled.

You and Sans glanced to each other, then you each headed off to follow the two separately.

“Hey, Undyne, what’s on your mind?”

She scratched her neck, gesturing to Alphys across the room.The small dinosaur was gingerly speaking with Toriel, and they both seemed to be having a good time.

Then you remembered!

You gasped out loud.

“Undyne!Are you going to propose now—?”

She clamped a hand over your mouth, telling you to “Shhh!”

It made you laugh a little bit.

“Alright, sorry, sorry, but are you going to?!” You whisper-yelled.

Undyne’s eyes were all over the room except at yours. 

“Yeah, um... I don’t know how to, though.What should I do?I’m freaking out here, punk!”

Undyne rattled you at the shoulders, shaking your whole body.You had to grab ahold of her hands to get her to stop.

“It’s okay, that’s okay!This is a big thing!But don’t worry, I’m sure Alphys will say yes, so just go dance with her or something, and then when the time feels right, get down on one knee and tell her how you feel.”

Undyne stared at you, her chest rising and falling with fear, and she nodded.She trusted you.

“Alright, I’ll go ask her to dance now,” Undyne told you.

You smiled giddily, patting her arms.

“Great!Just breathe, Undyne, you can do this!” You felt determination seep out of your words.Undyne grinned at you, and marched over to Alphys.

You smiled, happily waiting for the couple to finally get together.

~~~~~~~~~~

“so... you and mettaton are moving in together?” Sans spoke slowly, almost disbelieving.

Papyrus nodded, a sympathetic look struck on his face.

“I’M SORRY BROTHER, BUT METTATON AND I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE GOOD FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP, SEEING AS WE WANT TO BE CLOSER.”

Sans stayed quiet for a moment.

He wasn’t going to blow up on his brother, that would just be unfair.He knew that they’d eventually have to start living separately.

He just... didn’t realize so soon.

“it’s... it’s alright, paps.i get it.” And he did, he understood.This was normal after all.Papyrus and Mettaton had been dating for over a year, and it was clear the two were very close.Maybe not close enough for an engagement, so moving in was probably the next best thing.

“SO, I’LL BE COMPLETELY MOVED OUT IN A MONTH.I THINK IT MIGHT BE BEST TO, UM, SELL THE HOUSE.”

Sans was going to protest, but then he realized that Papyrus was right.He could not afford that house by himself.His side jobs, gigs, and the day job he got at Grillby’s over four days a week could not pay off the mortgage.

“yeah.yeah, you’re, um, you’re right.” Sans stared at his feet, tapping them on the ground.

“OKAY THEN.I’M SORRY TO DO THIS TO YOU, BROTHER, BUT IT FEELS RIGHT.METTATON AND I ARE READY.IF YOU EVER NEED MONEY, OR HELP, METTATON OFFERED TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR FEET FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED.”

Sans gave his brother a smile.

“well, ya tell mtt i said thanks, but i’ll be just fine.i’ll, uh, make a garage sale for some of my old things, and take some of it to that place... happy... great... what was it— good will!i’ll, uh, i’ll manage.” Sans tried to shove his hands in a jacket pocket, but missed, and remembered he wasn’t wearing a hoodie.

“this doesn’t have a pocket... in the front... heh.well, anyways, good luck to you and mtt.this is good for ya, bro.happy for ya.”

Papyrus smiled at his brother, and walked off, telling him thank you, and that he’d see him later.

Sans grumbled when his brother was out of earshot.

“what the hell am i supposed to do?where can i stay?what...” He groaned. 

He ran a hand down his face, and picked up a nearby drink.It was a scotch, something he didn’t usually drink, but he was relatively nervous at that moment, so he decided it couldn’t have been all that terrible of an idea, especially since he knew how to hold his alcohol.

“Hey,” someone came from behind him.

He turned, and smiled at her.

~~~~~~~~~~

“what’s up?” Sans asked you.You blew out a breath, leaning against the wall he was also up against.You glanced around the room, finding Undyne and Alphys slow-dancing with each other, and you looked down.

“My roommate is getting out soon.” You bit your lip.“And now, I cannot pay for my apartment.So, that’s... perfect for me.”

“undyne’s moving out?” Sans asked, sounding despondent as well.“why’s that?”

You caught sight of the couple again.

“Well, Undyne is proposing, and we had a talk recently, and she said that if Alphys agreed...”

You saw Undyne reach for her pocket.

“... they would move in together.” You finished, taking your attention from the current conversation to grab hold of Sans and pull him closer to see.“I think we’re getting a front row seat!” 

Undyne said a few undistinguishable words to Alphys, whose scales you saw brightened to a lava-red.Right after that, Undyne lowered to one knee, and some surrounding people turned to watch.

You couldn’t help but squeal and turn to Sans in excitement.

She said a few words you couldn’t make out, but you noticed that Alphys’ eyes teared up.Undyne finally finished it with the opening of the small box, and by that time, the majority of the people there were watching.

Your mouth was agape in a suspenseful silence when Alphys finally nodded her head.

The two embraced, and the room erupted in applause and cheers.

You whooped, hollered, and yelled for the couple, overly joyed with the new bond formed.

Undyne slid the ring on Alphys’ finger, and the two shared a warm and loving hug, finishing it off with an endearing kiss.You could feel the absolute adoration and devotion radiating off the two from where you were, and the shines in their eyes were unmistakable.

You weren’t sure if you would ever feel that way for someone, but you looked past it, and screamed out one last time for them.

You turned back to Sans who looked happy for the two.He was wearing a nice grin, pushed a little wider at the edges.Genuine as it was, you knew there was something on his mind.

“Whatcha thinking about?” You asked.

He sipped his scotch, then swirled the drink in the fancy glass it came from.

“funny enough, i can relate to ya, sweets,” Sans chuckled rather dryly. “my bro’s moving out, and we’re sellin’ the house.so, i’m homeless.for the moment.”

You wanted to laugh, but you couldn’t.

“Guess we’re in the same boat then, huh?” It was less a question, and more something to just fill the depressing silence falling in between.The both of you were alone, and you couldn’t handle it.It was reality, and you were scared to find someone else.

“yeah,” he sighed. “when does undyne completely move out?”

“In... two weeks, I believe.What about you and Papyrus?”

“a month ish.”

You hummed.

It was annoying to think about, getting used to someone new in your apartment.You had just recently adjusted to Undyne’s routine and schedule.Plus, you had been getting workouts in here and there, and you were in some pretty good shape.Maybe you and Undyne could keep working on that.

But still, someone new could totally screw up what you had.However, they could be really cool and sweet and everything, but you weren’t sure how sound that part was.

“hey, um,” Sans muttered. “did ya wanna... um, could i... have this dance?”

You turned out of surprise, and there he was.

Glowing a bright blue, he held out a hand. 

His grin was anxious, from what you could read.His stance, however, was still laid-back and easy-going, like usual.He looked sweet.He looked...

**hopeful**.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It felt like silk on the dance floor.Like a silk robe.Something that was elegant and gentle, but also warm and comfortable.The song was just slow enough to enjoy it, which made it better since you’d never heard it before. 

But the song wasn’t what made you feel so soothed,

it was Sans.

You two were swaying to the rhythm, held close by the other.Your head was leaned into his chest, just near his shoulder.He kept you close to his body with an arm on your backside, barely lower than the center.You had one hand resting on his shoulder, and the other hand snuggled in with his.With breaths rising and falling in sync, and steps moving at the same leisurely pace, you knew you’d never feel more at ease. 

With the proximity, your senses were overwhelmed with everything about him.His scent which reminded you of late night drinks, fast food, and early morning coffee was the only thing floating in your head.

The texture of his jacket in your left hand and the feel of his rigid yet gentle hand in yours felt like something you’d been missing all your life.

You were happy to only keep him in your head.

It felt... different than when you and Henry went to parties.

When he’d show you off to everyone he knew, but it felt more controlling.An arm kept _tight_ around your waist while he presented you to his drunk and perverse friends like some prize felt uncomfortable in every sense of the word.

Not just that, but the dancing was dirty, and it was dirtier than you liked.Grinding up against you, against a wall, with very little room for you to move, was just caging, and it made you feel trapped. 

On the other hand,

with Sans,

you felt free and warm,

it was enlightening.

Sans’ arm released from around your back, and his hand pulled yours up above your head.

It was soft, and a bit inexperienced, but you understood that he was trying to spin you.

You twirled, and when Sans pulled you back into him, he kept an arm over your front.Because of that, when you met with him again, he had his front up against your back, and an arm draped over your stomach, along with his other hand rested on your hip.

“was that okay?” he asked. 

His breath caressed your neck, and goosebumps rippled in waves across your skin, igniting a shudder to race through you.

“That was perfect.”

Your eyes were closed as you swayed with him, united with the movement of your bodies.

Everything was perfect.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you for tonight, Sans,” you turned, facing him on your doorstep. “It was amazing.”

His grin perked up, but he shied down.

“i’m glad.i was hoping tonight made ya feel special.”

You brightened up, the corners of your mouth tugging up in a flattered smile.

You both stood there, smiling at each other in a sweet silence.He looked so good in the moonlight, in his fancy tux, and in a genuine grin.You felt light.

And when you started leaning in closer to him, you noticed he did too.

_Wait._

_What are you doing?_

_Stop._

_Stop._

_Stop!_

_This is a bad idea!_

**Why?**

**Why shouldn’t I?**

_Because!It’s Sans!_

**We like Sans.We’ve known that a while.**

_This could ruin things!_

**It didn’t the first time.**

~~~~~~~~~~

Slammed against a wall, legs wrapped around his waist as he stole every last breath from you.His arms hoisted you up a little bit higher, allowing you to catch your breath, if only for a moment.

Your lips brushed against his teeth, not yet caught in another fiery kiss, but just almost there.

Your eyes opened low, affixed on his teeth, on his breath.You stared into his pupils, his bright, glowing pupils that had at some point, snapped into little hearts.

**Cute**.

“sweets,” he said, voice coarse as gravel and thick with lust, “are ya... are ya sure ya wanna do this?” You could tell he had no problem with continuing, other than your own will.The need for you, the desire, that came heavy in his tone, was undeniable.

And you could not resist.

Your lips smashed back onto his, pulling him as close as you could.He took that as a positive sign, and the night was lost in a frenzy of passion and twisting crave for the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to thank you all so much for being so goddamn patient. it honestly means the world to me!!!! i am so so sorry. my birthday was the fourteenth of november, and past that i got sick, and everything went downhill. i had no spare time, i could not focus, etc. but i will do my best to continue this!!! the halloween chapter is cancelled. (sorry !!!!!) but i’ll be damned if i can’t get a christmas chapter in here !!! i will keep going with all the determination i can muster !!!!! i love you all !!!!


	20. Shocker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lotsa shit happens. lotsa lotsa shit. just gotta read my babes. listen to wasteland, baby by (i think) hozier ??? possibly

You woke up with a gasp.Everything from last night crashed back into your mind like a tidal wave of regret, and you pressed a hand against your forehead.

_What were you thinking, you shit brained moron?!_

_Ugh!_

_What do we do now?_

_Fuck!_

You turned to the side, and found that Sans was still sleeping soundly.Soft snores echoed from him.

The sunlight from your window illuminated the room, casting a nice light on Sans’ features.It was bright out, and you didn’t like it.It might’ve disturbed Sans.You traced a hand down the side of his face, and he leaned into your touch.His bone felt cool... and smooth.

You pulled your hand from his face, scared.

_What were you feeling?_

_This was just a hookup._

_Nothing more._

You needed to shower.You smelled of sex.

With a bit of effort, you heaved yourself off the bed, and made your way to the bathroom.

There was a dull and achey pain that throbbed around your thighs, not to mention a little bit around your hips.Soreness.

**_You screamed out in the hot pleasure that came from him ramming into you, moaning his name like a mantra, and crossing your legs around his waist to push him deeper._ **

You burned a bright red, and had to cover your face with your hands.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. “How do I even face him?That was so embarrassing!”

You turned the water on.

~~~~~~~~~~

The coffee trickled from the machine into your mug, and the steam danced about the cup before vanishing.It calmed you.You felt eased.Then everything came back full force, and you almost started crying.

_You can’t afford your place._

_You need a roommate._

_You just fucked over the one guy who you really cared for._

Everything felt like it was tearing at the seams.

_Why‘d you screw Sans?_

_You knew things like this would happen._

_You knew it was a bad idea._

_How would you ask him to just forget about it?_

**You couldn’t.**

You held your head in your hands, terrified of what he’d think of you.

_But why did you do it?_

**You wanted him.**

_But were you ready?_

It’d been almost two months since Henry, but you weren’t sure you were prepared for another relationship.Should you have been?

**Maybe.You hadn’t thought about him recently.**

_Still—_

Two arms snaked around your waist, and a weight rested on your shoulder, soft breath rolling across the skin of your neck.He pressed himself against your back, just like how he held you in his arms last night, and you gradually removed your hands from your stressed face.It felt so nice to have him against you... so sweet.

So **damn** sweet.

What were you to tell him?

~~~~~~~~~~

Sure, in the last reset he’d endured—and many others—you’d told him at this point something that broke his heart, but he thought differently of this time.You two were close.Very close.It had been over a month, and maybe a half, since you’d hooked up the first night, and yet, he was scared you’d shut him down.The only thing that changed throughout the resets were how Frisk decided to handle the Underground, and how they’d treat monster kind.Usually, things above the surface stayed the same (if Frisk freed the monsters), and that included his future with you.

But that was something for another time.

He believed things were different.He believed that you felt how he did.

“mornin’, sweetheart,” he uttered in a gruff voice.“how ya feelin’?” He knew he went rough last night.He hated that he did.He should’ve been gentle, sweet, and slow, but damn it to Hell, he wanted to rip that dress off your body.He wanted you to scream his name.It drove him crazy when he nailed you into the bed, and you still pulled him closer with each thrust he plowed into you.His name being cried from your helpless, panting lips... sounded _perfect_.

But he wasn’t sure if you were alright afterward.Although, you did seem pretty into it that night.He was still nervous you’d bruise pretty bad.

He felt you breathing slow, yet staticky.

**b a d s i g n**

Your hands grazed the bones of his arms, and you held onto his hands.

** that happened last reset, but you were just showing affection... right? **

** right?! **

“Can we talk?” Your voice, a whisper, murmured out.

** oh no **

** this was going to be the same as last time, wasn’t it? **

** oh god, oh god. **

Sans froze up, bones stiff with fear.

“yeah,” he replied, going to take his arms off from around your waist—

“Wait,” you tightened your grip on his wrists, not enough to hurt him, but enough to stop him in his tracks.

_ wait what? _

_ this... didn’t happen last time. _

_ maybe he was remembering wrong? _

“Don’t... don’t move your hands yet,” you sounded desperate, like his touch was what was keeping you alive.

His SOUL fluttered around with hope.

He relaxed against your body, holding you close.He moved his head from your shoulder, and pressed it against the crook of your neck.

“okay,” he whispered against your skin.

It felt so nice.His teeth were cool, but his breath was warm—it sent ripples of goosebumps down your back.A shudder ran across your body, and you leaned your head towards his.

** maybe this time... really would be different? **

You knew what you wanted.

You knew you wanted _him_.

He listened to you, he drank with you, he laughed with you, he comforted you, he cuddled with you, he danced with you, and everything was done in peace.You didn’t feel awkward with him.Everything was perfect.

“I...” You almost couldn’t breathe, would something _really_ turn out in your favor?

“I...” It felt surreal.

“I want to try with you, Sans.”

Sans’ SOUL hammered against his ribcage, and his smile stretched, a laugh nearly crying from his throat.He needed you.To hear that you at least wanted to try with him, it about put him on the moon.

... But he couldn’t help himself.

“sweetheart, ya’ve already tried me _twice_ now.”

He could feel your body just about freeze completely in embarrassment, and your hands tightening significantly on his wrists.

“S-Sans!” you spluttered. “Y-You...”

As much as he flustered you silly like that, you couldn’t help but snort.You nudged him off of you, giggling like a middle school boy at his humor.

“That was a serious moment!” you punched him playfully in the arm.

“sorry, sorry, couldn’t help it,” he laughed. “but seriously, i want to try this with ya too.i’ve been feelin’ that way for a bit now.”

You smiled at him, but you still needed to straighten the facts out.

“My only condition,” you inhaled, “is that we take this slow.I really care for you, like a lot, but I... I need some time to adjust.And I hope, I hope you can respect that.” Sans stared at you, slowly nodding his head.

“understood.how slow ya wanna take things?” He didn’t sound pushy.He sounded like he wanted to help you.

“Um, I’m not entirely sure.Could we do like, uh, a code word system?” You had seen things like them online, (although usually used in a sexual way) and you thought it might help.

“like one of those... red for stop, yellow for slower, and green for good?” He asked, and you nodded. “yeah i’ve heard of those, and i’ll do my best to remember them.but also, remember that ya set the pace.so whatever ya good with, i’ll probably be completely okay with.tell me when i overstep your boundaries.it most likely won’t happen the other way around.”

You nodded, relieved he was so understanding of your fragility. 

“Gotcha, and, um... thank you.Like, so much.This means a hell of a lot to me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

_“We shouldn’t have to go slow.You’re my girlfriend.That means that you trust me, right?You trust me, don’t you?”_

_There was an unsettling bunch of nerves tangled in your gut, and you wanted to push Henry off you._

_“I...”_

_“You love me, don’t you?”_

_Of course you loved him.That was obvious, right?You did so much for him.You just, weren’t comfortable with this pace.You hadn’t given your virginity up yet.But you had been dating for nearly seven months.Should you have already given it to him?_

_You were dragging him down.He probably felt like you were a ball and chain attached to his ankle.You felt like a burden._

_“Yes,” you whispered out. “Yes, I... I love you, but...”_

_“But what?You don’t want to do this?Then when will you?I’ve been waiting a while now, (Y/N).” He had been waiting.But you thought he loved you in that time.Did you really have to do this to show him you cared about him?_

_“Nothing.” Your voice felt small.You were wrong._

_“We can... Now is fine.”_

_“Good,” his voice was firm, dominating over any objections you had._

_He went fast, quickly marking hickeys over your neck and down your chest._

_He undressed you quicker, only dropping his jeans down so you could see his dick._

_You didn’t think it would fit nicely.It wasn’t too big, per se, but the width made you nervous._

_“Wait—”_

_“You said this was okay.”_

_“I-I know, but can you please just... please go a little—”_

_“A little slow?You’ll be fine.It’ll feel great.”_

_You gulped, and you were pretty sure no fiber in your being believed it would feel okay._

_It already felt horrible, and he hadn’t done anything except kiss and bite at you._

_He pushed it in after dipping his head down to your neck again, and the burn you felt sprung tears to your eyes._

_You choked on air, trying not to complain or say anything that might anger him, but it felt so flamingly painful, that you had to let out a small whimper._

_“That feel good?” He grumbled against your skin._

_You couldn’t answer.It hurt.You felt like you might tear.It burned so harshly, but you tried to stay quiet._

_He kept going, his pace picking up and getting rougher, and at some point, he smacked your leg,_ hard _._

_You yelped, feeling tears burn down your cheeks._

_“Fuck...” he groaned. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”_

_You clung to his shirt, biting into his shoulder to alleviate the pain.It didn’t do much._

_You hoped it would end soon._

_~~~_

_You stared at the ceiling, a feeling of dirty vulgarity covered you like a layer of unseen muck, and you hated it._

_Henry was asleep next to you, facing away from you.He made you feel so... **gross**._

_You needed to take a shower._

_The time on your phone read 1:42 AM, but you didn’t care.You dragged your exhausted body to the bathroom, the pain from the sex still raw over your body even a couple hours later._

_The water ran over your sensitive skin, over some bruises, and over some red hand marks on your legs and even on your arms.It felt hot, not scorching, not burning, but warming._

_You bathed in the warmth.The feeling of comforting heat.You liked it much more than what you and Henry just did._

_Though, despite your attempts to rid the feeling of filth that lingered over your body from his touch, you still felt wrong.You felt violated in more sense than one._

~~**“You love me, don’t you?”** ~~

_You couldn’t help the tears that fell and the soft, helpless cries that blubbered past your lips._

_“Is this what love means?” you asked to no one, still somehow expecting some answer._

_Your love felt..._ **betrayed** _._

~~~~~~~~~~

“as long as ya feel comfortable, i’m cool with whatever happens.” He gave you his infamous grin, the grin that never seemed to falter, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“on that note though, did ya wanna grab a coffee maybe?i’m pretty worn out from last night—” _wink_ — “and i could use a bit of a wake up call.”

You burned a bright tomato-y red at his comment, shaking your head while stifling down giggles.

“You’re terrible,” you said.

“not in bed apparently,” he winked again, and you groaned out loud.

“You never stop, do you?” You were grinning amusedly, because while it annoyed you, it wasn’t getting on your nerves nearly at all.

He eyed you suggestively, and your eyes quickly grew, your cheeks burning hotter than before.

“Don’t answer that!”

He laughed, slapping his leg and wiping a fake tear from his socket while you rolled your eyes.

“Anyways, a coffee sounds pretty good right now,” you said. “But lemme get dressed.I can’t really... go out in pajamas.” You gestured to your small grey shorts and oversized sweatshirt.

“oh, yeah.i’ll be back in a few, i should also be gettin’ dressed.” He was wearing a blue jacket, some basketball shorts, and slippers.The usual. 

“Why do you dress like that?” You sort of knew the answer—comfort—, but it really just made you laugh.A grown ass monster wearing clothes for a thirteen year old boy.Hey, but who were you to judge?You were dating the guy.

“comfy,” he replied.You called it.“and they still fit me since i didn’t grow all that much.if it ain’t broke.”

You shrugged, and made a shooing gesture at him.

“Alright, now go, I gotta get ready!” You waited for him to teleport out.

“ya sure ya don’t want my help?” His shit-eating grin made you want to slap him, but before you had the chance, he left.

After he vanished with a pop, you sighed.

A sweet warmth blossomed in your chest.

Things felt nice.

Even though he was a pervert.

~~~~~~~~~~

“what are ya thinking about ya new roommate?” he asked, sipping a bit of his steaming coffee.Dread clawed at your gut at just the mere thought of it, and you frowned.

“I have no clue.I don’t know what I’m gonna do about it.I got so lucky with Undyne... everything just feels so difficult now.”

“yeah,” he sighed. “i feel the same.dunno how i’m gonna find a place to crash.maybe i’ll hitch in a motel for a bit.‘s better than nothin’, right?”

A smile pushed its way to your face, but the nature of it felt hopeless.It was more of a mock of your own misery.You let out a long sigh, then sipped at your coffee.

An idea snapped into your mind like a bright light of something, but you couldn’t think of a good analogy for it.

You looked at the tired skeleton, and after pressing through some jagged anxieties, you found your voice.

“Move in with me.”

The bluntness from your statement shocked even you, but you held your gaze to Sans—who had flinched a little bit.He stared at you, cheekbones glowing a soft blue, and stayed silent for a moment.

The silence lasted a few seconds, cracking with a chuckle from the monster in front of you.

“heh, movin’ a li’l quick there, wouldn’t ya say?” He sounded nervous.Of course, his nervous meant a regular tone of amusement with a scant slant of unassured confusion sprinkled in.Plus, you could see a bead of sweat form on his forehead.Small, but noticeable.

“I know,” you said, “but I think it’s the best solution.We’re both out a place, right?”

Sans stayed quiet again, making your confidence waver. He stared into your eyes, boring his gaze deep into your pupils, as if staring into your SOUL, and you suddenly felt exposed.Nonetheless, you kept your stare strong.

“are ya sure ya’d be okay with it?” 

You took a shaky breath.

“I’m pretty sure,” you said, voice slightly quieter. “I feel closer to you than I did with... with, um, Henry... and I lived with him for almost a year.”

He didn’t seem all too convinced, but you knew both of your options were limited, and it would be extremely convenient.Plus, you were telling the truth.You had been through several breakdowns in Sans’ reach, and he still cared for you each time.On a few occasions, you were so distraught... so sobbingly set in ruins that all Sans could do to calm you down was hold you.He’d hold you for close to half an hour, or until you calmed down, or exhausted yourself from your wails.You’d dampened multiple of his hoodies with your babyish bawling.You had been better about it recently, learning of new methods for keeping your fragile mental health from completely shattering in front of him again.

But everything felt peaceful with him.

Surely moving in with him was a safe move.

He took a deep breath, putting a defeated smile up, “if ya good with me crashin’, then i’ve got no problem with it.i just... don’t want to press ya, sweetheart.ya’ve been through a lot.”

You nodded, and smiled at him in return, resting a hand on one of his.

“I believe it’ll work.I believe in whatever it is that we have.I want this with you.”

If you weren’t mistaken, you thought you saw his eye lights pip into small hearts, and his cheeks glowed a lighter blue.He leaned across the coffee table, using two phalanges to tilt your head up to meet him halfway for a short but sweet kiss.He tasted like his coffee, emanating a bittersweet silky aura.

You wanted to stay with his lips for a moment longer, the flavor of him lingering in a small second of euphoria.

“i believe in us, too, sweets,” he smiled. “here, lemme getcha a cinnamon bun.” He stood from the table, taking hold of one of your hands and squeezing it softly once, then he walked over to the counter.

You smiled to yourself, a jitter of joviality jiggling through your bones.

And then, of course, _**he**_ had to show up.

He took the seat right across from you, and every vein in your being ran cold.You didn’t think you could move.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Henry sighed, a strained grin on his face. “Been a while, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can’t express how goddamn much you guys mean to me. i’m pathetic. you guys are keeping me writing. keeping me breathing. i love you. love. it’s amazing. you’re amazing. you, reading this, you mean everything to me. without you, i’m nothing. also, sophie got me a christmas present and i’m crying ?????? this woman will kill me one day and i’ll still love her to death (literally at that point) you guys are amazing. i’ll work on that extra chapter now :)) <3333


	21. Christmas Special!!!!! (two weeks late lmfao)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope u like . i’m fuckifn tired as shut and this chapter took for fucking ever. love u guys for being patient . next chapter won’t take as long. sorry i’m being lazy but writers block is hitting hard as fuck. i will get some plot fuck done by february. yoh guys men’s everything tonme

“What can I get you?” You pressed a dying smile to your lips for the customer, exhaustion throbbing at your legs and pulling on the bags under your eyes.You were absolutely drained.On _fucking_ Christmas.

“Peppermint mocha with whipped cream,” they said, not looking up from their phone. “And on top of that, could I get extra cream, but make it almond milk.Then could I get a gingerbread mocha, extra cinnamon drizzle, and some caramel in that?That should be all.”

You kept your smile up, nodding to the guy politely.“Those’ll be right out.”

You sighed as he walked off, going back to start the two mochas he ordered.You were on high stress and bitter mode, after all, being on your period over the holidays sucked ass.You wanted to curl up and cry.

You were in the middle of making the first coffee when a crippling cramp wrenched your uterus.Your eyes widened considerably, and all the color paled in your face.You clenched your jaw tightly, and you were surprised you hadn’t shattered a tooth.

You opened your eyes enough to see a blurred version of the coffee maker station, and you did your best to get the order done without leaking a tear in the drink.

You served it to the guy, and he walked off with a muttered thank you, slipping you a 20.At least you got a tip from the guy.

“Hey... (Y/N)?” A fragile voice mustered from behind you.You turned your head, greeting Flutter with a smile you plastered on through your pain.

“What’s up?” Flutter was a Whimsum that came to work at the coffee shoppe you were at, and you two had helped each other through the grueling days. 

One day, a customer was being particularly rude and pushy with Flutter, and all she could do was profusely apologize and nod her head to everything the guy was yelling at her.You ended up getting the guy to leave her alone, for the most part, and you consoled her after work for a while to get her esteem back up from blaming every problem on herself.You told her that it wasn’t her fault with the order, and that she should stand her ground a little bit sturdier.She responded with a defeated, ‘I can’t,’ but by the end of the conversation, she promised she’d try her best. 

She gave you a smile in return, and extended a shy hand out with two pills sitting in the small palm.

“I... I noticed you looked like you were... hurt, I think.I brought you, um, ibuprofen.” She dropped them into your hand, and she went to retrieve a small sip of water for you.When she returned, you thanked her with a hug, to which her frail stature responded.She was much shorter than you, standing at hardly three foot seven.

“God, where would I be without you, Flutter?” you thanked her, pulling from the hug after only a moment.Flutter shied down, fidgeting her feet.

“You’re so sweet, (Y/N),” she smiled at you. “I hope you have a... um, a merry Christmas.Or happy holidays!Or if you don’t celebrate something, then have a good day... or something.” Her voice trailed off into a quiet murmur, and you chuckled sympathetically.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Flutter,” you said.“I hope you have a good day.”

She smiled at you.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sans took a puff from his cigarette (he had no problem with it since it didn’t affect him), and glanced towards the inside of the coffee shop.(Y/N) was about to get off her shift, and he was waiting in her car for her to come out.He rolled the window down, wafting the smoke out from the small enclosure.

He was upset she had to work on the holiday, as most people would be, so he tried to be a little bit extra with his present.

Sure, he spent quite a bit of his savings, but it was worth it.Her reaction would be more than enough payoff.

She finally came out of the coffee shoppe, flexing and clenching her hands by her sides until she just crossed her arms.She looked around for the car, waving at Sans when her eyes eventually found him.

He tapped his cigarette outside the car, watching as the ashes dusted off and drifted to the pavement. 

Her paces were faster than usual, choppier too.Anxious to get off work, he guessed.

She hopped into the car, blowing a breath out as she sunk into her seat.Her head turned to face him half-assedly, and she put a tired smile to her face.

“Merry Christmas,” she said. “I’m sorry I had work.” She leaned over the divider, meeting Sans in the middle for a short but sweet kiss.

Sans reached for (Y/N)‘s hand, squeezing it once before pulling it up to his teeth for a caring gesture.

“just happy i can spend time with ya today,” he murmured against her skin. “hope that the rest of the day can salvage some lost time.”

She smiled at him, the endearing affection he showed making her insides fuzzy.

“I missed you today,” she muttered. “The hours feel longer without you.”

Sans gave two squeezes to her hand, then smiled at her.

“here, lemme take your mind off it.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The mellow music that floated through the bar bobbed your head with the beat, and you followed Sans to the bar.The smell of fine alcohol danced around, and you breathed in the alluring scent.When you sat down, the bar stool cushion deflated some underneath you.Grillby came from the back, drying a glass with a rag, like always.

“Happy holidays, (Y/N),” he greeted you with a warm and crackling voice. “You both are here a bit early, are you not?” You smiled at him.

“Happy holidays to you too, Grillby,” you said. “Yeah, but this one’s got something planned, so I trust him.” Sans grinned at you, and Grillby just nodded.Sans had told you about his scheme for the night when you were in the car, and he told you to just go along with it.

“Very well, what would you like to drink?” He asked.Before you could answer, Sans spoke.

“two night sky’s.”

Grillby nodded, going off to start the mixtures.

You turned to Sans, who just shrugged.

“This part of your plan?” you asked.

“yep,” he nodded, a cocky grin stuck on his face. “we also gotta take the drinks to go, so... sorry ‘bout that.”

You huffed, upset that your small moment of rest would be interrupted, even if it was by your lover’s plans.

“Well, where are we going after this?” 

“it’s a christmas surprise,” he winked. “think of it as your present.”

You groaned with impatience, but that was your last complaint.

Well, it was your last complaint about the plan he had.

You felt an insane squeeze in your core, and your entire face contorted in pain, knuckles going white as well from how hard your fists were clenched.You hummed in agony, kicking your foot against whatever surface was nearest to you.

“hey, sweetheart, everything okay?”

You whined out a no, grasping handfuls of hair to alleviate or distract yourself from pain.

“what’s, uh... what’s going on?”

You mumbled something, then, more clearly, mumbled, “Hurts.”

“what hurts?”

“On my period.” You were about to cry.Your cramps used to be bearable, back in high school, then you got into college and they seemed to feel like someone took a Louisville slugger right to your uterus.

“your... period?” he asked. “what?”

“I’m bleeding,” you hoped that would be enough explanation.

“bleeding?bleeding where?ya need a towel?bandaid?”

You bit your knuckle.

“I’m bleeding from my...” you glanced to see if Grillby was still in the back, “... vagina.”

He looked at you like you had grown a third head, skull flushing an anxious blue.

“your _what_?!” 

~~~~~~~~~~

“so it’s normal.”

“Yes.”

“this is a normal thing.”

“Yes.”

“why?”

“Because my uterus prepares for a pregnancy and when it finds out I’m not pregnant it freaks out and takes all the flesh and blood from inside and flushes it out.”

“oh.”

“Yeah.”

Sans was processing female anatomy, driving to whatever place he was going to take you next.

“and it’s painful, i take it?”

“Very.”

“huh.that’s cruel.”

“Yep.”

He accepted the fact that he couldn’t do anything about it, other than comfort and help ease the pain for you, and so he was just asking for more explanation as to why your body decided to make you feel like death.

“still hurt?”

“Not really, for now,” you sighed. “But it’ll come back soon.I’m on my third day.”

“ya said they last a week, right?”

“About.”

“would monster magic help?”

You hummed.

“Possibly.”

“worth a try.”

He kept a hand on the wheel, and his other hand rested on your lower stomach.You noticed it glowed a soft green color, and little silky touches of warmth bloomed from the bones on your skin.

You hummed with the odd cooling warmth that seemed to flow through your organs, numbing the pain, if only barely.It was smooth, like conditioner running through hair, or washing it out.It was warm, like the flame of a lighter, or a candle’s heat from the wicks in the wax.

You sighed, a soft moan sealing your lips shut with the feel.The pleasant caressing of his phalanges over your belly with the added sensation of magic easing you through cramps just had a certain... affection held in it that you couldn’t exactly describe.

“feel better?”

You sighed out a yes, pleasure stitching the word together.

“How long will it last?”

“i’m an amateur at healing, so only a bit, but it should last—at the least—until the morning.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Your breathy voice was firm again, its normal consistency returning with the information. “So I’ll be painless until the morning?”

“yeah, maybe even until like... noon tomorrow.maybe even later.”

“Oh my God, I might cry.That’s amazing.Third day isn’t as bad flow, but the cramps kill me.”

Sans’ hand lingered on your tummy, gentle strokes still circling over where the pain was blossoming. 

“want me to keep my hand here?”

You hummed again, laying a hand over his.

“Yes, please,” you replied, languor tugging at your tone. “Your hand feels so good.”

Your eyes drooped a bit, gradually shutting like curtains, and your breathing slowed with your lack of energy.

“take a nap, sweetheart,” he whispered. “‘s alright, we’re going somewhere a little far.don’t worry—i’ll wake ya up when we get there.”

You hummed, smiling at him before you drifted off into a light slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~

“sweetheart, wake up,” a voice whispered. “we’re here.” 

Your eyes fluttered, opening wider when the sun rays shined on your sensitive pupils.You squinted, letting out a yawn while you woke.

“it’s about 5:30 ish, and when you’re up and awake, i’ll show ya where we are.”

You smiled, a refreshing glow flowing through you as water would through a stream.The sunlight casting in through the window encouraged your energy to swell up a bit.

You stepped out of the car, surprised that your shoe sank into some soft grass.A gentle breeze blew over your arms, and a peaceful silence only interrupted by quiet sounds of birds and music encompassed your ears.

_Music_?

You were on a hill, most likely far from any town, so you were a little surprised that there was music.

You turned around, suppressing a gasp when you saw the scene before you.

Sans was holding out a Night Sky, laying down on a big blanket that was spread out for sitting on.There was a brown picnic basket near him, and two plates set out for the both of you, and the whole thing was surrounded by rose petals scattered around the blanket.A radio sat a few feet away from the blanket, playing a subdued tune of romance.

If that wasn’t enough, there were two or three candles laying around near you, plus, a gift you noticed, sat near the basket. 

You were speechless.Absolutely awe struck.All you knew was that your dopamine was shooting through the roof.Not that there even was a roof where you were. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have to try and answer, since Sans seemed to understand your disbelief.

“merry christmas, sweetheart,” he winked. “fancy a picnic with me?” You stood in silence for just a moment longer, taking in every detail before you. 

“You... did this... for me?” You asked, thinking the words sounded crazy to you.

“yes, i did,” he responded, giving you a gentle nod. “ya like?”

“Oh my God, yes,” you gushed. “I’m just... trying to... grasp what’s happening.”

“‘s a picnic, sweetheart.”

“But it’s so fancy, and amazing.”

“thanks, did ya wanna eat?”

You nodded, going over to sit in the spot open wide for you.

“I’m just... this is perfect.” You murmured, a grin itching on your lips.

“i’m glad ya like it, sweetheart.”

The blanket was soft underneath you, added to by the small blades of grass beneath it.The food smelled even better up close, and Sans handed you the Night Sky.

Everything felt so tranquil.

“Thank you so much for this,” you said. “This is just... incredible.I don’t know how to even pay you back.You’re amazing.” You leaned close to him, happy when he obliged by also leaning over to meet you for a kiss.

Your lips met his teeth in a patient and slow embrace, melting into each other with each second of tenderness that continued on.You finally drew away from each other, eyes still closed and mouths hovering hardly an inch apart.

“you’re amazing,” he breathed. “i’m so lucky to have found ya.”

“Me too,” you purred, tilting your head up for one last kiss.

~~~

You mixed the drink in your hand, watching as the mixture changed into a starry sky before your eyes.Sans pulled a couple sandwiches from the basket, handing one over to you.You thanked him again, smiling as you took a bite of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (i’m sorry if ur allergic !!! let’s pretend you’re not!! :)).The two spreads mixed sweetly, but they still got stuck to the roof of your mouth, rather annoyingly.Still, the flavor was enough to make you happy.

Sans already had a phalange in his jaws, picking the peanut butter from his teeth.

“ah ‘orgot ‘ow ‘ard it is ‘o get ‘eanut ‘utter ‘rom ‘eeth,” he muffled out, and you had to piece together what he was saying.You laughed when he continued to finish off the rest of the sandwich, still picking the peanut butter from in between his teeth.

You took the last bite of your sandwich, smacking a little bit to get the stickiness from your mouth.

“Those were good,” you complimented him. “Thank you again.This is just...”

“ya don’t have to keep thankin’ me, y’know?just enjoy yourself, sweets.want ya to be happy.”

You stared at him for a bit, then you crawled over towards him, a grin pulling your lips up.

“Well, then I guess I have to thank you in a different way.”

You crawled on top of him, straddling his hips while you leaned closer.His sockets dropped to half mast, skull closing the distance with you.He sat up, looping his arms around the small of your back, and tilting his skull up to touch his teeth to your lips.

Your hands cupped his cheeks, angling him just enough to deepen it, and you pulled his front towards you.

You wrapped your legs around his back, sitting on his lap while you embraced.The kiss broke gently, foreheads still bonded even after your lips had departed from him.You pressed against him again, feeling him respond against you with love fueling his drive.He moved his hands lower to your behind, then curved them around your waist, pulling you closer.The comfort that filled the energy between you both was infectious, and you felt like he was cradling you.

A warm breeze swept over you both while you held each other, only deepening any emotions of ecstasy that burned inside you.It felt perfect.

You both drew away again, soft breaths flowing between you both in a light silence.

You gave him one last slow kiss, and you felt him linger on your lips for a moment.

“god, you’re incredible,” he uttered, breath rolling over your lips.His voice was soaked in desire, a longing for you.His pupils were soft, hazy lights that were desperate for more, glancing over every detail in your face.The aroma that floated off him smelled of sweet coffee and bitter smoke, an addicting mix of heaven and hell, a perfect middle between comfort and solitude, and you were getting high off it.It smelled like what you wanted to smell like when you were a teen, reading novels about bad boys that smoked occasionally, or about dystopian futures where pollution was the only air that people breathed.Your eyes dropped to his lips momentarily, pulling back up to his eyes every so often.

“You’re stunning,” you purred, stroking his cheekbones with your thumbs, and pressing your forehead against his. “Perfect.”

His cheeks blued, an oceanic cyan mantling over the bone.He met you again for a tender kiss, teeth hardly touching you.There was a low thrum in his bones, a pleasant rattling, almost; a buzz of magic, possibly.He let out a suppressed hum, sockets still closed. 

“you’re breathtaking.” He was speaking in a low mutter, a firm but hushed groan.The compliment came from his SOUL, a love, a devotion held deep for you—for your being.The words exchanged were feelings that should’ve been said before.Things that were sitting on your chests, things that were held on your tongues—that you hadn’t yet spilled.Honest loving that you had kept locked away; it finally felt right to just spill everything.It felt right to just sit in his arms, and tell him what he did to you—what having him this close was doing to you.

“You mean the fucking world to me,” you whispered, passion lacing the phrase.Your  tone stayed hushed, almost drowned out by the faint music that played right by the two of you, and it was on low volume.Your words held meaning to you, though.Knowing that it had taken years to push you back up on your feet, years to level your dopamine at least slightly higher, meaning the world to you had become something huge.Life was a shitty thing.Unfair, unjust, cruel, and unusual, yet still praised on by billions.When it finally hit you that, sometimes, life was worth it, you cherished moments.Certain moments.Those moments were enough to keep you going.To let you love your life, even if you were still learning to love yourself.Life meant being with Sans, hanging with Muffet, working with Flutter, etc.It was so much more than average days where you felt less motivated than ever.It was **love**.

“you’re priceless,” he pecked your lips, “precious, sweetheart.” Your heart was floating in your chest, a light and weightless feeling engulfing your being.All because some skeleton was treating you to a picnic.

“I adore you,” you smiled, kissing him again. “You’re gorgeous, baby.” Gentle passions were spoken, and everything just felt surreal.It felt like heaven.

The loving energy that circled you both was absolutely incredible.

~~~~~~~~~~

You were laying next to your SO, sharing grapes in a comfortable silence.The atmosphere was positive, unconditionally loving, and you just wanted to praise him over and over.

“I love you,” you sighed, setting your grapes back in the container. “And you don’t have to say it back.I know... I know that it’s kind of sudden and all, I just wanted to tell you.I love you, Sans.”

“sweetheart,” Sans called you, gesturing for you to scoot closer to him. “c’mere, babe.”

You liked it when he called you that, considering it sounded handsome from his mouth.At first conversation, he wouldn’t seem like the type to use such a nickname, but when he did, you loved it.It ruffled you up.

Even with your confession hanging in the air, you scooted towards him without anxiety or fear.He told you to turn around, to put your back against his front as he sat up.So you did.

He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your stomach and snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.

You sat there for a minute, soaking in the silence of conversation, yet still warmed by the sound of music.He gave you a light kiss in the nape of your neck, nuzzling into the skin a little more.You leaned into him, closing your eyes.

“i love ya, too,” he muttered. “and of course i’m gonna say it back.ya mean everything to me.” 

You moaned quietly at the feel of him nipping at your neck, gently teething on your shoulder, trailing up towards your ear.He nibbled, tugging only barely at the soft flesh of your earlobe, and leaving a kiss when he felt he pulled a little too hard.

You mumbled gibberish that faded into a sigh, set at ease by his ministrations.

“i love ya,” he muttered against your skin.His hands moved south, slowly undoing the button of your jeans.You bit your lip to muffle another moan, feeling the publicity of where you were a little too stressful.

“I-I... I love you, too,” you whimpered. “Are... Are you not scared of getting caught?” It wasn’t just getting caught to you—it was the fact that doing anything could leave a damn tough stain on whatever you did it on.Blood was pretty gross.

“we’re pretty far from anyone right now,” he said, easing you from a hickey. “so there’s a pretty good chance of us not getting caught.”

“What about my period?The blood?Won’t that be gross?”

Sans hummed against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

“eh,” he replied. “probably not gross enough to make me back out.if ya don’t want to, i won’t, but if you’re down...”

You embarrassedly stayed quiet, only breaking the silence to mumble out a red-faced, “Green.”

“good girl,” he praised, and you felt warm under his sweet compliments. “you’re so good, babe.i’ll be gentle.”

You found your arousal growing with each word he whispered in his dominant state.This was a bit different than the last times you guys had screwed, though.Considering the first time was a drunken mix of passion and regret, and the second time was nearly as bad.Although, the second time was a bit more controlled.Still, you were sore from how hard Sans could give it to you, but it was a very... scandalous hookup.Despite the fact that the two of you weren’t together, and you had decided on staying that way, you fucked after a party when you were both sober.

What was happening at the moment was a stark difference.Soothing whispers in your ear while he sucked and bit over your neck.The sweetness of making love in comparison to a risky hookup, it was huge.What was happening wasn’t the previous gasping against each other, desperate for more taste, and crying out to go hard, fast, to just feel so destroyed by the other.It wasn’t anywhere near that.It was patient love, admirations, and kisses, staying comfortable with the other while drawing out pleasure in each motion.

It was beautiful. 

Sans ridded your jeans from your legs, allowing you the opportunity to shimmy your underwear off as well.Thankfully, you had gotten pads this time around (you rushed into the store and got the first product you saw), so the pad came off with your undergarments.

You were naked from the waist down, chills running down your legs.

He kept his hands on your legs, by your hips, only dipping inside to spread your thighs further.

You whimpered at his mercy, moaning whenever his teeth would gently sink into your skin, tongue softening the bite.He moved his hands to remove his jeans, allowing you to feel his cool and smooth bones underneath your legs.His thickly structured bones felt like normal legs, as if they were made of polished stone.You liked it.The buzz of magic still electric with each touch excited you beyond belief.

Yet, you still believed that your period would get in the way. 

“Sans, a-are you really sure?” Your voice was contradictory.It sounded both unsure and decisive at the same time, knowing you wanted to continue with the itching nerves nagging that it wasn’t a good idea.“It can get messy, like really messy, and I just want you... to know what you’re getting into.” Your voice wasn’t only unsure and decisive, it was breathy.It added to the clear want—the desire that was seeping from your tone like warmth from a campfire.

Sans’ hands continued, almost as if he hadn’t heard your question.They moved north, landing on your breasts and centering on your nipples.

“ya know i want this,” he uttered in a guttural tone, lust filling out the words. “ya sure ya wanna do this?ya sound unsure, sweets.”

You nodded furiously, almost knocking into his head with your own.“N-No!I-I mean yes!I really want this!I just... don’t want you to be grossed out.”

“okay, sweetheart, how about i don’t look, that way ya don’t have to worry about me gettin’ grossed out.would that help?” He spoke slowly, patiently, and his hands slowed their movements.He was triple checking if you wanted to go through with it.

You nodded, flushing a bright red as you mumbled, “Green.”

“there we are,” he whispered, still easing you into slightly rougher motions, from harder bites, to squeezing your breasts, he was going easy on you.It wasn’t desperate grasps at your hair, nor pulling you closer in fear if he let go, you’d be gone.It was soft, yet sexy movements that pushed you right past the nerves from your period.

“bein’ so good for me,” he mumbled. “and ya remembered the code... such a good job, babe, and ya use those code words whenever ya feel.”

You nodded, flushing a pink at the praise he showered you in.You moaned out when his hands massaged your nipples in time with a tender bite. 

His ministrations slowed, and his skull dipped right next to your ear, breath warm and pulling a soft whine from you.

“turn around for me,” he said in a low tone, heating your sex with arousal.You obeyed, turning to face him so he could climb on top of you.One of his hands planted itself next to your face, the other laying on your hip and stroking close to your slit.

You hummed out in soft pleasure, a want for more begging in your SOUL.Well, ‘want’ was a bit understated...

... You _needed_ him.

“god, you’re fucking beautiful,” he praised you again, in his sexily low and gravelly tone. “i got so damn lucky with ya.did ya know that?did ya know that i’m absolutely addicted to ya, babe?you’re perfect.” His adoration was heavy, drawling on with care and arousal, sweet and sexy all in the same words.

You whined as his cock pressed against the heat between your thighs, not yet diving in, but instead, giving you a tease of him.

Before you could give him the ‘go ahead’, he dipped low, pressing kisses to your jaw and finally meeting you at your lips.His exciting buzz of magic that played on his teeth distracted you for a moment, and he pushed inside of you slowly. 

It felt incredible every time, his length able to fill you up in a perfect way, a way you could hardly describe.Your nerves were being rubbed so pleasantly, and you had to break the kiss for a moment to gasp.Your arms were hugging his neck, pulling his skull in close to your face, and your legs wrapped around his pelvis in an attempt to try and push him deeper.

He let out a soft groan, skull contorting in a wince of pleasure.

“shit,” he growled, drawling the word out. “ya feel so good for me... so fuckin’ good.”

You moaned quietly as he pulled out and thrusted back in, the slow pace driving you wild.You loved feeling him inside of you.

“Fuck, Sans,” you breathed.Your mind was swimming with pleasure, every time he hilted inside you made you moan just a little bit louder.

His pace eventually started speeding up, the slow and steady start not enough to fulfill your arousal fast enough.

Your tightly wound sighs of pleasure eventually morphed into moans, getting louder with each thrust that nailed your core.His own groans got looser, guttural growls muffling into your shoulder when he’d bite down, obviously trying to quiet himself.That stopped working when he sped up again, and instead he just started groaning about how good you were being.

“f-fuck, (y/n),” he uttered, losing his composure. “bein’ s-so good... so _tight_ around m-me... fuck!” You squeaked as he lifted your legs so he could get a different angle.

And it worked.

He had you screaming out in ecstasy in no time, drilling into a sweet spot deep inside you with each mind-numbing thrust.You babbled our fragments of sentences, which turned into fragments of words at just how much he drove you crazy.

“Fuck!” you cried. “Sans!I l-love thi-is!So—ah!—so good!” 

“th-that’s right,” he groaned. “tell me h-how much... fuck... how much ya love m-my dick.tell me who’s f-fucking ya ‘til ya can’t w-walk.” He was demanding, but you felt him getting sloppier with his movements, showing you just how close he was.

“I love it!Fuck, y-your dick is—oh!—so fucking b-big!” You wailed out, trying to get a coherent thought through. 

“who’s making ya s-scream?who’s m-making sure... f-fuck!... that ya ain’t gonna walk t-tomorrow?” Despite the stammer in his tone, he still sounded commanding and tough.It was so fucking hot to you.Him unraveling and yet still keeping some composure to him absolutely killed you.

“Y-You are!Oh!Fuck, it’s a-all you!Fuck!” You practically shrieked, choking when he hit a new sensitive nerve inside you. 

“Sans!” You cried out his name, stretching out the vowel sound, and looked up to his skull, finally getting a good look at how well his composure was keeping up.

He was sweating, blue drops beading his skull and trailing down quickly, only to be followed by more.His teeth weren’t in a smile, they were clenched in a wince, and you could tell just how much he was falling apart like you were.And his eye was quite the sight.It was blazing a bright blue, burning a ring in his socket and flickering like a campfire.

“fuck!(y/n)!” he growled out, borderline feral.His face dropped onto yours, teeth capturing your lips in a fierce yet hasty kiss.You quickly returned it, allowing him to swallow all your moans into him.Overly pleasured and heartfelt tears filled your eyes, and you had to draw back from the fiery kiss to use your voice again.

“Oh, fuck— Sans!” you cried out, and your orgasm quickly built up, the spring coiling inside your core tight, and your release felt imminent.

And it was.

“Sans!” You screamed—yes, screamed.Tears streamed from your lids that were screwed shut, bright white pleasure grabbing you by the horns and fucking you silly.Your muscles tensed, toes curled, back arched—it took over everything in you.

But your lover hadn’t finished.

Close, definitely, but done...

Nope.

He slammed into you at an unforgiving speed, reminding you he wasn’t human and was able to achieve such strides without feeling as fuck-tired as a human might.And he lasted a little bit longer than you, giving you another several thrusts before roaring out a dirty praise attached to your name, and releasing his climax inside you. 

You swore that you had never felt such pleasure before, and even after your orgasm, when he fucked you until he finished, your cries hadn’t lessened any, and you felt utterly and whorishly spent.Not that you regretted it even in the slightest.You babbled out sobs, the high of your climax pressing endorphins into your system.

Sans was heaving, like you, and his skull was tucked next to your head, chest rising and falling with his breathing.Your babbling had ceased, and your sighs were taking the place of them. 

Slowly, and with a shudder over his whole body, Sans rolled over from on top of you, landing next to your even-more-exhausted body.He curled over, facing you even though he was absolutely worn out, and you did the same, turning to face him despite the lack of energy left in your being.

He laid a hand over your hip, letting it rest on your lower back, and pulling your form into him.You noticed why: he was radiating heat.And, unsurprisingly with winter, it was getting colder.It wasn’t snowing, since Ebbot was relatively fucking warm.Annoyingly.You got snow once a year, if you were lucky, but practically never on Christmas or the holidays. 

Anyways, Sans’ magic was buzzing a soft warmth that waved over you like an invisible blanket.You snuggled your head into his chest to feel out more of his comforting magic, smiling gently when his arm lovingly stayed over your form to keep you near him.

“I love you,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his sternum.

“i love ya, too,” he responded, pressing one of his own toothy kisses to your forehead. “merry christmas, babe.” 

And the rest of the night was filled with presents, Sans’ jokes about cleaning blood from a picnic blanket, and praises about each other here and there.He really wanted something special for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loved love troy guys you mean all of the world to me. love i. love u. amazing . amazing . amending. love.


	22. Well, Fuck You Too Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spicy!!! henry is a dick and rly abusive and manipulative yet .... u find hope!!!! u persist in the face of cruelty!!!! short chaptahh!!!!

“How’ve you been?”

You weren’t processing his voice.It hurt to hear.It felt like pins.Like tiny needles poking your gut.You blinked.

“Hello?Earth to (Y/N)?” He waved a hand in front of your face.

You shook out of your trance.

“What do you want?”

Sure, it was blunt and harsh, but you never wanted to see the asshole again.And there he was.

He flinched, a look of hurt crossing his irises.It almost made you feel guilty.Almost.

“I, uh, wanted to talk to you again.I’ve missed you.”

“No,” you murmured, trembling hands clawing your arms.

“What?”

“I said no,” you told him, more clearly. “Don’t tell me you miss me.If you miss me, you shouldn’t have cheated on me.”

Henry glanced around after you said that, as if someone was eavesdropping.

“Lower your voice, that was unnecessary.”

You took a deep breath. 

** Soothe your nerves.  **

_** Control the situation. ** _

“You coming back to see me is unnecessary.”

Once again, hurt flashed in his eyes, much clearer this time.It was like a shock kind of hurt.He didn’t expect a spine to attach to your once delicate voice.

“Listen, I get you’re upset with me,” he said it as if your feelings were unwarranted, “but I’m trying to be mature and make amends.You’re just shutting me down for no reason.”

You almost chuckled.You weren’t in the wrong. _Finally_.You **knew** you were **right**.

“Wow,” you looked at him like he was a child arguing something that made no sense.Which wasn’t far from the truth. “That sucks.You know what else sucks?Getting cheated on after three years.” You raised your eyebrows, unamused, and awaited a shitty response.

“I said I was sorry,” he growled.

You mulled the thought over, a face like stone presenting itself to him.

“No you didn’t,” you stated.Your voice was devoid of emotion. “You haven’t said that since it happened.”

His face turned a bright cherry red, and you thought you could see steam blowing from his ears.

“Why does it matter?” He hissed.

“If it doesn’t, go ahead and leave.” You told him, nerves cool and face colder.

His eye twitched, and you swore you saw a crack of self control chip away in his pupils.He wasn’t in control of you.For the first time in a while, **you** were pulling the strings on your own heart.

He took a breath.

“(Y/N), sweetheart—”

“hey, sweetheart,” Sans set your coffee on the table, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.“who’s this guy?”

Before you could answer, Henry snapped, “Who’s _this_ guy?”

You smiled up at Sans, and gestured to Henry.

“Sans, this is Henry, my ex.Henry, this is Sans, my _boyfriend_.”

Immediately, the atmosphere changed.

“So, you’re her new boyfriend?” Henry growled.

“i’m the lucky guy.you’re her ex?” Sans asked, playing a voice of ‘i’m done with your bullshit and if you try anything i won’t hesitate to make sure you have a shitty time.’

“Yep,” Henry seethed.He made no effort to move from where he was sitting.Which was Sans’ seat.

“well, if ya don’t mind, i’d like to get back to the conversation i was having earlier with (y/n), so if ya would be so kind as to move from my spot—”

“Actually, (Y/N) and I were talking before you rudely interrupted.”

Sans looked surprised, amused even.But not even slightly intimidated.He looked impressed that Henry hadn’t already backed off.You were, too, except it was less of impressive to you and more of scary.

“ah,” Sans grinned. “i assumed ya took the hint when ya realized she was taken after ya called her sweetheart.”

“Yeah, well, this matter doesn’t concern you.”

“it most certainly does if you’re calling my girlfriend ‘sweetheart.’”

Henry glared at Sans, who was still giving him a nonchalant grin that ceased to fade.Yet you noticed a twitch in his bone brows indicating challenge.He wanted Henry to try to say something.He was ready to take him down.

“I bet you’re not even her real boyfriend.” You looked to Henry in surprise.

“I bet you’re just a one night stand.Since she seems to have those a lot.”

“actually, we’re real.and ya know something? a one night stand is better than cheating on someone.”

Henry stayed quiet for a second.His face was a perfect picture of anger and resentment, and he glanced from you to Sans a few times. 

Henry took a deep breath, making an advance towards you by putting his hand a little too close to yours.

Sans laid a hand on yours, protectively losing his pupils into the void of his sockets.

“watch it, bud.” A venomous bullet shot from his tongue. 

Henry ignored him.

“Listen, (Y/N),” he grabbed your arm, “I know you miss me—”

“Let go of my arm.”

Your deadpan voice was enough to fill a whole conversation with. 

Your cold, unforgiving eyes shocked your ex, but he continued, roughing his hold.

“It was three years, I know you’re not already over it.You’re probably just using this asshole—”

“Let go of my fucking arm.”

He shut up, stared at you angrily, and tightened his grip.

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do.”

“get the hell away from her.”

You had almost forgotten about Sans until he growled at Henry.

It was deadly silent between the three of you.Henry kept glancing between you and Sans, probably hoping to find a single sliver of regret in your eyes, only to realize you were way past him.That, and Sans’ dead eye look definitely scared some of the sense into him.

Henry reluctantly released your arm, but there were still red marks from his fingers that had hoped to change your mind.Sans slowly moved his skeletal hand off yours, caution heavy in his movements.You were sort of in the middle of it all, fear pulsing through your veins but your face was void of emotion.

Henry pointed an degrading finger in Sans’ face, causing your boyfriend to cringe in disgust.“You don’t tell me what the fuck to do.”

His hand dropped, but his eyes were glued to Sans’, malicious energy flowing like electricity between them. 

He turned his attention towards you, taking a step past you already, although he started speaking. 

“And this conversation is not over, (Y/N).”

Even with his repulsive finger not shoved up in your face like he did to Sans, you felt a sort of aggression build from how he had the nerve to utterly disrespect and humiliate you in front of your lover, so then Sans knew just how fucked up Henry was and how you still loved him dear for three years.

So as he started walking off, leaving the conversation despite starting it not even four minutes ago, you followed him out.Sans called your name, not loudly, but alarmed enough to show you he thought you weren’t making a good decision.And you knew you weren’t, following a _psychopath_ out of a coffee shop after he had declared the conversation had ended. 

He was out the door, and yet still your feet pattered up, courage heavy without logic.You put a hand on his shoulder, but most of your confidence depleted when you saw his face.

His fiery eyes, the same eyes he used to once look at you with love, were burning holes in your own, terror striking every nerve in your being.It wasn’t the feeling of angering him that made you feel how you did, it was knowing what he was _capable of_.Knowing he could kick your ass to next month and get off without so much as a kick to the shin _scared_ you.Knowing he could overpower you so much so that you’d be absolutely helpless by struggling against him made you freeze.

You started speaking nonetheless.

“We’re finishing this now, Henry,” you told him, feeling a small victory with how icy your tone was.How commanding you sounded.The situation was scaring you shitless, but you were fighting for every small point. “Whether you like it or not, I’m done dealing with you.”

Unfortunately, his anger thrived off your surging confidence you never found when you were set inferior to him.His eye twitched comically, and your foot slid back an inch.

”We’ll finish this when I say we will,” he stated, voice seething through gritted teeth.

“Then we aren’t talking again, because I have control over what happens too,” you responded, strong and steady.You felt powerful, you felt heard.It was shocking to finally have some backbone in your tone.

He stared at you angrily, the surprising sturdiness in your voice definitely unpleasant to his ears.

He turned his entire body to face you, and you withdrew a step, feeling his hatred radiate off him.

“You disgust me,” he hissed.That time, though, he did have a finger shoved up in your face.You pushed it down, eyebrows narrowing at such a horrible person.

“We are never speaking again.Come near me, and I’ll have the cops called.” You stated, cheeks burning with your bluff.You thought about it for a second and realized that the police wouldn’t give half a shit about your ex getting near you with his clean background.But you didn’t take it off the table.

In that moment, he looked downright terrifying.Fury filled eyes glaring at you akin to a provoked predator.His teeth were clenched, muscles tensing angrily, and you gathered up every ounce of determination cowering in your being to keep your stance somewhat strong.

He moved his hands to your chest faster than you comprehended, and the force applied knocked you off balance.

“Then back off!” He shouted.

Your back hit the wall, knocking your head back into the bricks as well.You winced in the pain that seized your skull, excruciating throbs echoing through your brain because of the impact.

“Shit,” you whispered, subconscious tears surfacing without your consent.They spilled down your cheeks freely, as if you had zero control over your body.

But you did, you had some control, so you moved to get up, yet you were hit with a wave of nausea.You covered your mouth with your hand, dizziness making you sick.

The figure of Henry was out of your sight by the time Sans was in.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was silent as I stared at her sleeping face, only filled with the soft sounds of her breathing. 

Her head was bandaged after the impact, and I hated the way they looked on her.Her hair was hidden by the wraps, and just the sight of them brought nerves scrambling inside me.They meant she wasn’t **okay**.It meant she wasn’t **well**.

It meant that Henry was a _threat_ to her **health**.

But, I couldn’t stop looking at her.I was nervous that if I left, something would happen the millisecond I was out of the room.Even with the fact that I’d been by her in her unconscious state for over four hours.Sure, I had gotten a coffee before I had come to supervise her scarily still state, but I hadn’t left since.I felt like I wasn’t close enough to her, and by that I meant that I felt like something could easily come in and kill us both.

I stopped letting my mind wander to such things, shifting my eyes to the shelf in the room instead of her closed eyes.

My pupils fell to the empty coffee mug in my hands, phalanges tapping sharply on the glass.There was less than a drop still sitting in the bottom, but I still twirled the cup in my hands to move it around.

“Sans?” A hoarse whisper asked, barely cutting through the silence.“What time is it?”

My head snapped up, eyes going wide despite the exhaustion that set heavy on my sockets.

“hey, sweetheart,” I cooed, leaning in towards her waking form. “how ya feelin’?” I took hold of her hand in mine, the cold temperature of her skin bringing more worry into my eyes.

“I’m... I’m okay,” she uttered, moving to sit up. She hissed in pain, freezing up and laying her head back down. “Fuck!Fuck, that hurts.”

She sighed, turning towards me.

“What time is it?”

“oh, right!” I fumbled around. “‘s about 3 am.”

“Whoa, really?!” she raised her voice, only to immediately cover her mouth and repeat the question again in a whisper.

“yeah,” I scratched my neck. “alph said it might happen.she said you needed rest, but the pain might keep ya up or something.there’s, uh, a water on the table next to ya.”

She turned, thanking me as she took a slow sip from the glass.After she set it back down, she went quiet again, and glanced to the mug in my lap.

“Whatcha drinkin’?” She asked, a skeptical look in her eyes.

I debated on lying to her or not, but seeing as it was in a coffee mug and she could easily ask to the see the drink, I decided against it, preparing myself for her questions.

“coffee.”

“Why?It’s 3 AM, right?”

I nodded.

“didn’t wanna fall asleep.i worry about ya, y’know.”

A bit of guilt rippled in her pupils, swiftly replaced by something else, but it was hard to place.It looked like concern.

“I worry about you, too, Sans,” she cooed. “Come into bed with me, please.”

“ _sweetheart_...”

“Please?I want some boney cuddles, and you need sleep.Win-win.”

I let a smile itch on to my face, and sighed.

With much reluctance, I got up, and got into bed next to her cuddling up close to her frame, and letting her readjust when she froze up with pain.

“ya okay?” I murmured.She waited a moment, then nodded, curling cautiously into my chest as to not agitate her her injury any further.Her breathing was light against my ribs, gentle warmth brushing against my shirt every couple seconds.It was relaxing.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“‘s nothing, babe.”

My sockets dropped heavily, and I finally allowed them to drop into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck. this week fucked me up over and behind and now i’m sore (volleyball) and i have a tournament tmr so i gotta wake up at like 5:30????? fuck this shit bro. a million things came at me all at once and i’m decking em as much as i can before i fall face first from exhaustion. so sorry about the length between these chapters. also does anyone know the deets w SoLYGBM (a frisk x sans work that’s USPER POPULAR) ?? i miss it!!!!! but basically. you guys fuel me. hearing your loves and praises and constructive criticisms helps me grow as a writer, and i feel more excited to write more. you guys keep me going. you guys fuel my drive for this piece. love u guys. so damn much.


	23. Cry Me A River (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter!!!! CHECK OUT THE NEXT BOOK IN THIS SERIES WHERE I WRITe FILTHY SKELETON PORN IN WHICH SANS RAILS THE READER SO MUCH SO THAT THE READER ALMOST PASSES OUT.
> 
> this chapter is part one of two because it’s so damn short (sorry about that) but the next chapter will be longer, and this chapter was more for just angst and how you feel about what happened.

Your eyes opened to a bright stream of sun filtering through the blinds. The air was quiet, only a soft sizzle crackling through your apartment to break it.

Unfortunately, when you turned over, you found an empty bed, but it urged you to get out of bed to find your skeletal lover.You also found your phone with a few messages covering the home screen, much to your horror.

You went to the bathroom for your morning routine, only to frown at your reflection.

The fucking wrap over your forehead felt like a punch to the gut. The fact that you knew the police wouldn’t do jack about the situation nearly brought tears to your eyes, yet you were too tired for those emotions. You turned a bit, trying to get an angle to see the back of your head, wincing sadly when you found the red that had bled through the material.

Alphys said you probably had a concussion of sorts, but the wrap was mainly for the blood.You weren’t in tears when visiting her, surprisingly. It just felt too shocking to process. You used to trust Henry with everything, to a certain extent. You were being pressured by his parents to tie the knot soon, but you were never really sure you would.

Despite not thinking you guys would last (even though it went on three years), it hurt like fuck to know that not only would your ex cheat on you and victimize himself in your anger, but he would assault you and give you an injury, with zero remorse left in his heart.

So in the mirror, staring at the fucking bandage wrapped around your head, your eyes blurred up, tears surfacing to your lids. You ignored them, pushing past the little droplets to finish your morning routine.

You left the bathroom with tear trails staining your cheeks with red burns, and eyes swollen with emotion.

You yanked an outfit from the closet, grabbing one of Sans’ old hoodies on the way out the door.

You stood in the doorway, shame pressed in your face as you watched your lover hold himself on the counter with his palms flat on the marble. There was the sizzle you heard earlier, something frying on the stove. 

He wasn’t focused on that, though. He was just staring at the marble in silence, deep in thought.

You walked over to your love, slowly snaking your arms around his waist. He didn’t move, but his breaths were looser, possibly calmer.

The atmosphere stayed silent, and you thanked him internally for not hating you. You brought the injury upon yourself, chasing your shitty ass ex out of a coffee shop with his emotionally abusive background, and the way he grabbed you in the shop was anything but assuring.

You pulled him a little closer, apologetic intent flowing through your motions.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, hoping he heard.

“jus’ wanna know why, if i’m honest,” he replied, just as quiet.You felt fresh tears sting your eyes.Guilt was coursing through you with no break in sight.Why couldn’t you have let Henry leave and just ignored him until further notice?Why’d you have to chase him?You knew he was disgusting and a shitty person.You didn’t have to go out and fuck it up further, especially since that just looked like you were chasing your ex.

“I wanted to end everything between us,” you said with a wavering tone.

“including any remaining feelings?”

So he thought you weren’t over him yet?

Well, it made sense.

You clenched your teeth tightly, the blur of tears disappearing as they rolled down your cheeks.

“No,” you whimpered. “I wanted him to get out of my life.”

“and ya sure that was it?”

Sans sounded insecure.As if he thought that you were so hung up on the dick you used to call your boyfriend that you had no chance of getting over him any time soon.Especially with Sans, himself.

“Of course it was,” you sniffled. “I’m just so sorry you ever had to meet him. He’s so fucking awful. I’m so sorry that you had to be near him.”

You almost withdrew your arms from around him if not for his hands that landed on yours.You sniffled against his gray hoodie, finally letting the pain from it all get to you.It felt like you had betrayed Sans in a sense, but it also felt like there was a lingering danger of Henry that could pop out from anywhere.It fucking sucked.

“don’t want ya going near him again,” he murmured, and you let out a soft crying agreement.

“I don’t want to either.”

“that means chasing after him to ‘end contact,’ because at that point, i’ll just up and fuckin’ sick the cops on him.fucker deserves to pay for his shit.”

You nodded against his backside, knowing the situation was past toxic.It was borderline abusive, and it was a gamble to talk to him without violence.

“Okay,” you finally said.

“don’t want his hands on ya again.‘m worried about ya, babe.” Hearing the nickname from him calmed you down, if only barely, and you held him closer to you.You felt so damn needy for affection. 

Sans turned around, and your hold released from his waist as he looked down at you in your full blotchy teary faced glory.His response was nothing short of a guilty sigh, and he pulled you into his embrace.

You cried into his shoulder, babyish hiccups and muffled wails flowing relentlessly from your throat.His arms were gentle with your frame, locking you in his care while giving you room to breathe.

Your eyes burned with exhaustion and hopelessness, heat swelling in your cheeks and staining the hoodie you smothered your cries into.

You felt worthless.And really shitty.

You couldn’t even find it in you to apologize, you just felt so god damn awful.Your voice was thick with your tears, a lump forming in the back of your throat.You hiccuped into his shoulder, and a throbbing pain swelled in your head.It was so painful you couldn’t even think.

You grabbed his sweatshirt tighter, whimpering out low and defeated, an agonizing sound that sourced from the growing pressure in your brain.

It fucking hurt.Relentless sobbing apparently gave you a pretty shitty headache, especially with a concussion.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow,” you whimpered. “Fuck, ow, I need to lay down.” Your voice was pained, hoarse, and snotted.You sniffled, caught by your sinuses and furthering your disgust.

Sans let up on his hold of you, cautioning his grip of you with care.You hated it.You didn’t fucking deserve his care.A fresh wave of tears flowed over the drying burned paths on your cheeks, and you tried to keep yourself quiet.

“let’s get ya back to bed, sweets,” he said.There wasn’t anything more to it.There was no gentle humor in an attempt to lift the mood, there was no usual Sans-type undertone of guilt or grief, nothing.The only undertone was of lingering insecurity from when he spoke before.

It was a statement, and the different tone sounded foreign off his tongue. 

  
**Fuck**.

_ You’re an asshole!What the fuck were you thinking? _

**I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t come back!**

_You did a fine job of that._

**I’m over him!**

**He’s the worst person ever to live!**

_That does not seem like the case in Sans’ eyes._

**How do I show him I’m over with the old shit?How do I show him how much I want what he wants with us?**

_Figure it out.In the meantime, you should leave Ebott City and take Sans with you somewhere else before Henry comes up again._

You recalled the messages from that morning over in your head, wincing at the thought.

So you had to agree with your irritating thoughts:

leaving town for a bit was probably the safest bet you could make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve said it a million times but i’ll say it again:
> 
> YOU GUYS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!! EVERYTHING!!! YOURE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THAT SUPPORT MY SHITTY WRITING AND I CSNT BELIEVE HOW MUCH YOU GUYS LOVE THIS BOOK IT MAKES ME CRY!!!!! 
> 
> also?????? the senior crush i’m going after (the SENIOR GIRL who is like 17/18???) she said to me “oh my god your clothes?? like your wardrobe gives me top vibes!!” THJS WOMAN IS FUCKING FHREE YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND SAID I GIVE HER TOP VIBES AND SHES A LESBIAN TOO!!!!! BITCH IF I AINT OVER THE MOON ABOUT THJS I DONT KNKW IF ILL EVER FEEL WHAT HAPPINESS FEELS LIEK !!!!!!!!


	24. Cry Me A River (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter again bc i’m an asshole.
> 
> a busy asshole.
> 
> basically you feel threatened by your ex’s texts and you tell sans your idea. sorry it’s short again i’m so fucking tired and school decided my mental well-being can suffer as long as my grades stay up

**EX- Do Not Text!!** : _Sick the cops on me my ass._ [9:18 p.m.]

**EX- Do Not Text!!** : _Worthless bitch. Can’t believe you spread your legs for some monster within one night. Watch how he holds up._ [9:18 p.m.]

**EX- Do Not Text!!** : _Let’s see how much he can fucking take, since he had the nerve to act all big._ [9:19 p.m.]

~~~

“Hey,” you said.

Sans was carrying a bowl of something, and you could see just a bit of steam floating off the surface.He had another glass of water in his other hand, plus you’re sure you saw a couple pills between two of his fingers hooked around the glass.

“hey,” he said. “feelin’ any better?”

You nodded, sitting up without wincing like you’d had to do before.

“Head’s not hurting all that much anymore,” you told him, taking your eyes from his a few times with your anxiety in full swing.You were scared of how Sans was feeling—nervous for him.You thought it best to step carefully through conversations. 

“good... that’s good.” He said.He set the food down in front of you.

It was quiet for a second while you took a few spoonfuls of the oatmeal he prepared for you, which tasted really good.There was a drizzle of cinnamon on the top of it, and a couple fruits buried in the food.Of course he made it delicious.Made you feel so much worse.

“Thank you for this,” you said after you swallowed another spoonful. “It’s amazing.”

“there’s some monster magic in there, should help with the healing stages.”

“Ah, thanks.”

It was quiet for a moment, the awkward sound of your spoon hitting the bowl the only noise to fill the room.

You cleared your throat.

“Hey, so I was thinking...”

He shuffled on the bed, moving so he could see you better.

“... I think we should stay in a hotel for a bit.Just like a week or so.”

He was quiet.

“is this about henry?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “He, um, he texted me last night.A-After we got back from Alphys.I’ll show you.”

You pulled up the messages.

Sans’ face didn’t change as his eye lights scanned your screen.

After he finished reading, he looked to his hands in his lap.

“i haven’t... uh, told ya... about the extent of my magic... have i?” 

“No, I don’t think so,” you spoke carefully.No pressing him.He didn’t deserve it.

He took a tight breath.

“back in the underground... i was, uh... i was a boss monster.do ya know what that means?”

You shook your head.

“it means i’m more powerful than other monsters, but only in certain ways.my attacks are more difficult, and i have an effect where they wear away at you, like a poison.completely fucks with them.it’s, uh, really powerful.really dangerous shit.”

You nodded.

“i’ve killed before, (y/n).murdered people.innocent children in the underground.well, i took ‘em to asgore before they could do damage.but, uh, the last kid that came down to us, frisk, they... they got to me.multiple times.”

“Multiple times?How... How does that work?”

“... i need ya to put y’self in my shoes for a bit.okay?what i’m about to tell ya is gonna fuck ya up.please, try to understand.”

You gulped.“I promise.”

“don’t—”

“I.Promise.I will keep it.I will try to understand. _I promise_.”

Sans looked at you for a moment, and soft blue glowing on his face. “okay then.”

“i’ve been through time loops before.”

“... What?”

“i have watched a day pass, and then, i wake up, and live it all over again.the same day.over and over.all because of frisk.”

“Sans—”

“listen.it’s always the same day.the same start.i’m bein’ yelled at by papyrus for oversleeping, then tori’s tellin’ me not to hurt a kid, then the kid comes through the underground going on whatever path they’ve decided to sway towards.sometimes, they come in all sweet and peaceful, won’t hurt a fly.but once they die in their route, once everyone’s up and mourning and gloomy, i’m waking up again, in my bed, with papyrus yellin’ at me for being late.sometimes, they go through the underground with murder in their eyes.blood-lusted, death-driven, emotionless eyes staring back at ya.won’t laugh at a single damn joke.won’t cooperate with papyrus’ puzzles.won’t do shit they’d do when they was peaceful.the only thing that stays the same, is that when they die, or get bored, or curious even, they reset the timeline.and i’m waking up late again.”

You were struck in awe.Your mouth refused to form words, or maybe your brain was short-circuiting. 

“i’ve lived through shit a thousand times.and sometimes... sometimes i’ve had to kill them.had to kill the kid.sometimes, they kill papyrus in their way to the barrier.sometimes, they kill toriel.or undyne, or alphys, or mettaton, or asgore... or even... even me.”

His breath had started shortening up, and his eye lights fuzzed up, dimming with his emotions. 

Your eyes widened, but your mouth left you in a lack.Not a breath escaped you.

“i... they’d kill me.then, before i knew what was happening, i was waking up again, like it was a bad dream.”

You felt a tear roll down your cheek.

It matched a similar pace of Sans’.

“but i... i knew it wasn’t just a bad dream.because i’d ask papyrus about the kid, and he’d freak, going on a-about how there hadn’t been a human underground in forever.”

His face filled you with so much sadness, that you couldn’t even fathom how much he felt.He looked like he was beginning to doubt himself, but he knew he was right.

“and then, that day would turn into a ‘dream’.but i could never tell anyone... no one understood.no one had ever seen the things i’d seen.”

You couldn’t move.You felt frozen with shock.Speechless.

“and a couple times, they’d get to the surface.break the barrier and finally free us.those were the good runs.this is a good run.bein’ up here, on the surface.they don’t always make this choice.and... and this is the longest they’ve kept the timeline going.and now, i’m scared... i’m terrified of waking up to papyrus yellin’ at me again.i’m terrified of waking up and the only stars i know are the crystals back in waterfall.i’m terrified of waking up without you.”

Blueish tears rolled down his face in reluctant streaks.Sans looked like he’d tried to hide the information for way too long.Like he’d buried it under a mask of careless chill.

You were too shocked to move, so he continued with his traumatizing story.

“and... i’ve met ya before, (y/n),” he said slowly.You didn’t know how to respond. “i don’t know if... because of where we’re at right now, i’m not sure if i could... if i could go back to living without ya.if i could go back to not knowing if i’d ever see ya face again.that’d... kill me.” 

You finally found the courage to move, and you closed the short distance between you both to wrap your arms around his neck, to pull him as close as you possibly could.

Some of what he was saying confused you, if you were honest, but you understood the majority.Believing it was an entirely different ordeal, but at that point, you decided to believe him.He was obviously terribly affect by whatever happened, and it was way too much to even be considered close to acting.Sans was terrified of going back.

His arms weakly wrapped around your torso, and a tight grip on your shirt told you that Sans was finally letting his feelings flow.He cried softly, a difference to how you usually let your emotions loose with him.His jackets would be covered in snot and tears by the time you were done.

He seemed to be hesitant, not like he was holding back per se, more like he was easing into his touch-starved feelings.Jumping into them all at once would probably break him, so a good cry over most of the shit he’s gone through would suffice for one breakdown session.

“I’m right here, baby, I won’t go anywhere,” you whispered shakily, tears matching his own. “It’s okay, I’m here. Let it out, I’m here.” You continued with praises while his cries muffled into his sweatshirt you wore.It was odd for you to feel so familiar with how your SO felt, you felt like you could relate to him.Not his situation or his past, but his morality.The way he dealt with it.Staying in silence for years only for it to come up in small, unwanted bursts of bottled up emotions.You felt like you knew him.

“can’t... lose ya...” He sobbed. “too much... wouldn’t last... too scared...” You could only make out a few words here and there, but you could imagine the rest.You hated that he had such an unbelievable past, as you wanted him to be fine.You didn’t want him to have to carry such a tremendous emotional trauma on his shoulders.It thought it unfair to him. You couldn’t stand seeing him in so much pain.

It hurt you to feel him breaking in your arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sans was laying next to you on the bed, mindlessly combing through your hair with his phalanges.You traced small patterns over his sternum, gently trailing over his ribs.You felt the way his chest rose and fell slowly with his breath under your fingers.It was calming.

It felt nice to be in each other’s comfort again, instead of an awkward tension.

“So,” you said, “what do you think about staying somewhere else for a bit?”

He didn’t respond for a minute, but he continued brushing his fingers through your (H/L) hair, and took a deep breath.

“sure,” he muttered, and you could hear the faint remnants of tears that stained his throat. “when did ya wanna leave?”

“As soon as possible.How’s Friday sound?”

“sounds good.i’ll call in with my boss—oh wait, that’s me.”

You laughed, and he echoed you.

“but i do have to call in t’ my standup job.”

“Yeah, I just gotta cash in my sick days I guess,” you hummed. “But it’s better than... seeing Henry again.”

You really didn’t want to talk about it.If you were honest, you sort of just wanted to be with Sans, unbothered for a while.

“Where do you wanna go?” you asked, drawing tiny hearts over his rib cage.

“anywhere that’s more than... three hours.not just because of safety and all, more of just... i wanna spend a week somewhere different, y’know?remember when ya said ya wanted to go somewhere else?we could take a small trip.have a little fun with it.”

You smiled, and looked up to his skull.He smiled back, pressing a kiss to the top of your bandaged head.

“You’re too good to me,” you said, leaning into his chest.

“yeah,” he replied, giggling.You laughed with him, and it felt right again.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you get your PJs?”

“check.”

“Shirts?”

“yes.”

“Pants?”

“gotcha.”

“Hoodies?”

“for ya to steal?you bet.”

“Haha, real funny.But don’t forget your yellow one—it’s the comfiest.”

He snickered, and nodded.

“already packed it.”

“Okay... what else... Socks?Shoes?”

“check and check, boss.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, and he copied you.

“You got everything else though, right?”

“ya know it, babe.”

“Great, so we’re all set then?”

“yes, can we please go to bed?”

“Fine.”

It was Thursday night.More specifically, very early Friday morning.It was about 1 AM because you and your very productive boyfriend waited very long until you decided to actually start packing.But hey, you did get it done.

And so, Sans crashed into the mattress with a heavy sigh of an obvious desire for a needed rest, and you busied yourself with looking up a couple of good routes to take for tomorrow’s early morning drive.

“Should we take Treetop Road or Rexol Boulevard?Treetop is shorter, but might be heavier on traffic... Rexol is the opposite, but it does have some very not well known restaurants, so if we did pull over for a stop, we could get a meal that we have never gotten before—!” Your voice cut off with a yelp as you were pulled down onto the bed.

“no more talkin’ outta ya.let’s take rexol.who cares?” He was clearly amused by your intricacy, especially at such an hour.Embarrassment burned at your face, and you gave him a soft nudge in the shoulder.

“I’m blaming you if we end up crashed in a ditch because a road was wrong,” you yawned.

“i mean, i’ll be dead so it probably won’t matter,” he grinned, closing his eyes and chuckling while you made a noise of protest.

Of course, you fell asleep easily with the exhaustion of your brain from the stress of the day, dozing off to a soft hum of magic resonating from the skeleton beside you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking love u guys. all of u. i’m in alabama for a tourney rn but y’know ,,,, i’m gonna try to get a chapter or smthn out. i’m just so fucking tired. all the time. god damn.


	25. Road Trip! (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and sans have a lot of small talk and shit

“I’ve got—” you yawned, and held up your phone to Sans— “some songs for the ride.Should keep us busy for at least two hours.”

It was fucking 6 AM.Both you and Sans were moving around like zombies—and not the fast kind.Neither of you even had the energy to make coffee.And all you had to do was press a fucking button on your coffeemaker.You had decided to stop by Starbucks or Dunkin’ or something. 

“nice,” he replied, sockets practically closed.He leaned down and grabbed his suitcase, slouching like an elderly man with how tired he was.

You hoisted yours up, rolling it behind you with a tremendous lack of effort.

“Is it even legal to be on the road while this tired?” 

“probably not.” You laughed, but it was breathy and soft.

“Did we grab everything?” You asked, heaving your luggage into the trunk.Sans followed, and he shrugged in response.

“probably.”

You shrugged, and sunk into the passenger seat of the car, plugging your phone into the USB port to connect.

The playlist began, but Sans was still closing the trunk and dropping himself into the driver’s seat, tired sockets staring forwards as he started the car up.

“What sounds good?Bagels?Muffins?”

“let’s get muffins,” he yawned in reply, and you nodded.“i need somethin’ sweet today.”

You hummed in agreement, but you felt yourself close to a light sleep as Sans backed out of the driveway.

~~~~~~~~~~

“two grande toasted chocolate lattes, with a drizzle of cinnamon and caramel in both.”

“Okay, and would you like anything else?”

“yeah, uh, could i get one (F/Flavor) muffin, and... actually just two of those.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“that’ll be all,” Sans said. Your eyes fluttered as the voice told Sans the total, and he responded shortly, driving up to the next window to pick up the food.

He glanced over to you, probably wondering if you had stayed in your dozed state.You hadn’t.

“mornin’,” he grinned, sockets half-mast.

You smiled as a reply, simply too sleepy to muster out an intelligible response.

“ready for the rest of the four hours?” He chuckled at your drowsiness, and you gave a thumbs up.He grabbed the food from the girl in the window, and handed your muffin and coffee over, taking a lengthy sip of his own in the process.

He drove away, thanking the girl after she handed back his credit card.

You took small, quiet bites of your muffin, finding that your eyes stayed open easier when you were eating.

Sans drummed on the wheel while waiting for a green light, bopping his head to the music.

You stared at him for a moment.The sunrise casting in through the windows struck his face in a nice, gentle manner, and his yellow hoodie that he wore for the drive (he was branching out from blue!) looked a lot brighter.

He turned the music up a little, glancing back to you in case it might’ve disturbed you.Then he caught you looking at him.

“do i have something on my face?” he joked.

The bone near his socket crinkled with his smile, and you found yourself unfit to answer, as the only thing you saw on his face was your own joy.You felt relaxedly euphoric, a nice calm settling over you for the first time in a while.You weren’t in your constant state of emotionless anxiety where you felt so past stressed that you were practically numbed to it.You were truthfully calm.It was so nice.

“No,” you replied. “No, I just... You look beautiful right now.”

Sans flinched a little, blue spreading across his cheekbones.You loved how it shined in the sunlight.

“beautiful? come on, sweets, that’s a bit of a reach,” he shrugged it off. “i’m not exactly skele- **stunning**.heh.” His grin was very easy to read, and you guessed it was from your compliment.He looked insecure.His smile plastering up despite his conflicting emotions.

“I think you are.Your bones always glow such a pretty color of blue.Did you know that?”

“heh, sure i did.‘s just magic though.comes and goes.”

“Really?” you tried. “Because it was pretty bright when I called you beautiful.”

It came back again, and you noticed Sans’ knuckles clench on the wheel, plus a small shift in his eyes too.

“i swear ‘s random.like a broken lightbulb or somethin’.”

You hummed.

“I think it looks like the ocean.Or like the sky, y’know?It’s a very pretty color.” 

He glowed as you expected, and a smile stretched over your lips, egging you on.

“‘s just blue,” he mumbled, obviously a bit embarrassed and shy.You giggled, and closed your eyes a little more.

“Well, whatever you say, I still think you look beautiful.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck.

He knew that twist in his SOUL.It was so familiarly terrifying and comforting at the same time.And he loved it.

The compliments that just poured out of you like a waterfall always had the ability to make him blue.Like a flashlight almost.He loved that feeling.You made him feel so damn happy.

So when you were asleep in the seat next to him, Sans couldn’t help himself from kissing two of his phalanges and then pressing them to your hand, caressing your skin in the process.He allowed his touch to linger a second longer, then he focused back up on the road entirely, watching as the signs for different exits came and went.

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel to the beat of the music, humming along quietly to the tune.

“... the punches that ya roll with, you’ve got to keep me focused... ya wanna say so...”

“Those aren’t the lyrics,” you laughed, eyes still closed.Sans ignored you by singing slightly louder, mumbling along to the lyrics he didn’t know and continuing to sing the wrong lines.

~~~~~~~~~~

“hey, i gotcha some peanuts, a (f/soda), and a bag of (f/candy),” Sans told you as he sank back into the driver’s seat, setting a plastic bag of junk food in your lap.

“Oh my God, you’re the best.” You we’re already splitting open the packaging of the candy and taking the cap off the soda, swigging down more than a couple gulps.You almost moaned when you stuffed the candy in your mouth.

“pfft, were ya hungry or somethin’?”

“Apparently.”

He snickered to himself, taking a small bite of the candy he bought himself.He backed out of the parking spot, pulling back out into the main road.

“so... where do ya wanna go tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

“like... we have the hotel and shit, so we can look for a nice place to get some lunch.if ya want.”

“That sounds so nice.We haven’t even been on a real date yet!Technically!”

“ya didn’t think tori’s party was a date?”

“Maybe when you asked me to dance, I guess.So kind of.”

“aw, really?i gotcha a flower an’ everything.”

“Aw, alright, it was a date.”

“yes,” he grinned, punching a small fist in victory.You giggled, chortling up a snort.

“But this will be... like... official, or whatever.And we can finally tell the others!”

Sans chuckled as your face lit up with the words spilling from your mouth, making you feel self conscience.

“What?” 

“ya’re adorable, y’know,” he said as if it was obvious.

“Pfft!” you blushed, hiding your face in your palms. “Am not!”

“are too,” he grinned. “have ya seen y’self? like damn, girl.cute as hell.” The confidence pouring from his voice made you giggle like a schoolgirl, butterflies fluttering in your tummy.He chuckled with you, warmth flowing in the atmosphere.

“S-Shut up,” you giggled, nudging him in the shoulder. “But also keep ‘em coming.”

Needless to say, the car ride was nice.

~~~~~~~~~~

You had stopped at a small Italian place by your hotel, and you both were relatively starving.You both ordered a glass of alcohol, although Sans’ was a hard whiskey while yours was a moscato.He had driven quite a bit.You told him you weren’t having headaches and that you could manage the small drive left for the hotel.He seemed relieved, and promptly ordered a double.

“What’re you thinking of getting?”

“no clue, wanna just order two random dishes and swap if we hate ‘em?”

You shared a laugh, and then continued to discuss the entrees that were seemingly endless in pastas.

You felt a gnaw in your brain, an idea that itches to be spoken, despite your lacking desire to speak on it.

“Hey, um, sorry to change the subject like this,” you prompted, “but could tomorrow just sort of be... like a... a talk day?A day to just talk to each other?About everything.I mean, I feel like there’s a lot I want to get off my chest, and I feel like there’s a lot in your past I don’t understand, if you are okay with talking about it, that is.But, I just want to get some... things straightened out... I guess?”

Sans was nodding along with your request, keeping steady eye contact and showing you he heard you.It made you feel listened to.You liked the attention.

“yeah,” he said after he knew you had finished. “that’s a really good idea.i just... i have a couple things i’m not sure i could get into, but i’d like to... to just get whatever i can out.but... if someone oversteps a boundary, let’s keep that code word system.red, yellow, green.”

You nodded in agreement.

“some things i tell ya might be... well, they might be hard to comprehend... but i’ll try my hardest to explain it.i don’t even know if i can really get my head around some of it.”

You chuckled, and the slightly tensed atmosphere relaxed with the ease.

The rest of dinner went on without a hitch, and you both found easy rest in each other’s embrace at the hotel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck fuck fuck duck fucl’!!!! i make you guys wait a MONTH for a shitty chapter and it’s SHORT AS HELL!!!!! IM THE WORST FUCKING AUTHOR!!!!!! KILL ME!!!!!! i swear i have some dark ass shit in the works that will be coming out soon (i hope 😭) can’t believe anyone would still read this. my anxiety is coming full swing and i feel emotionless, affection-starved, stressed, and numb all at once. it’s a living hell and i’m surprised i haven’t just fucking died. i love you guys even if it doesn’t seem like it. i swear i’m trying my best. i’m so fucking sorry.


	26. Road Trip! (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoa a lotta shit to unpack. you have a horrible past especially with a sibling. it’s been damn near impossible to get over it and you cannot help feeling like you’re at fault. sans finally realizes that.

“alright, how ya wanna start?”

“Questions?Like asking about topics and then the person asked can deny or accept the question.”

“gotcha, ask away.”

“Okay—“ you clasped your hands together— “what did you mean exactly by... you’ve met me before?”

“well, i’ve gone through this reality more than once... not _this_ reality... one where i’ve met you, but we... you end up rejecting my feelings after we got together the second time.i’ve been to that party before—tori’s party—more than once.i’ve... i’ve met ya before.we’ve never ended up as a couple, though, but we have... we’ve hooked up in past lives.does that make sense?”

“A little,” you said, your eyes trailed off his.You didn’t like the sound of what was coming from him.He’d met you before.He knew a lot about you.He knew more about you than you of him, even if it felt like you two had met at the same time, he’s met you over and over again.

“How many times have you met me?” You were a little nervous to hear the answer.

Probably enough to hate you.

“... lost track.maybe a couple over... eight or nine times?kid hasn’t made it to the surface too often.that, or they get bored before i can get to ya.”

You hummed.So Sans had lived out his life many times.And you had no idea.And he’s met you before.And reality means nothing anymore.

“how long have ya and henry known each other?”

** Jealousy.Pure as could be. **

“A little over three years.My friend set us up, and we just started going out.We never really knew each other before we started going out.”

“how many times has he hurt you?” You almost flinched.

“... Physically, not on purpose.I don’t think.”

“what does that mean?”

“Well, I... I was in therapy for a while when I was with him... up until he noticed I was a bit more... independent.My therapist was talking me through arguments days after they’d happen and tell me that I actually wasn’t in the wrong, despite his constant degradation and telling me I was.She picked out red flags that I didn’t see until after we broke up, but I had to... I had to stop going to therapy because he felt I was going to leave him.He thought I would... I would take her ‘fake inexperienced relationship bullshit’ and leave him.He would tell me that I needed him, that he saved me, and that without me, I was _nothing_.He told me my therapist was feeding me lies, and he took me out of it.He would... rag me for not loving him if I didn’t put out, and tell me that he believed I didn’t trust him.He would put our relationship, which he continued to tell me was all I had, on the line if I refused sex.If I’m honest... I never really understood why people liked it so much, because I lost my virginity painfully.Henry never really... never cared if I enjoyed it.It was just for him.”

“sweetheart...”

His hand was on yours, caressing your skin with eyes locked on your red opposites.

Red?

You had started crying.Of course you fucking had.

You furiously wiped your eyes, not even having registered the tears surfacing your lashes.

“... i never knew it was that bad...”

“No, I’m... I’m okay, I just... I’m fine.You can ask another question if you want.”

He paused for a second, waiting for you to calm your jittered nerves.

“i think i’m gonna leave that topic alone.ya aren't fine, sweets.”

You couldn’t exactly protest.

“ya got any family?”

“... Yeah, I do.”

“siblings?”

“I have two— _one_.I used to have two.”

“oh, sweetheart.”

He cupped your face in his palm, wiping the silent tear from your eye gently.He always had a caring touch.He was so patient with you.

“I’m sorry—“

“don’t be,” he told you. “nothin’ to be sorry for.”

He waited as you leaned into his hand, delicacy lacing the intimacy.His touch was soft, yet his hands were strong.You put your hand over his, looking into his fascinating white lights, and watched as they traced the features of your face.

“how about parents?”

His hand cradled down to your chin, before focusing on your own hands, and embracing them in his own.

“My mom is fine, alive and well up in New York, living as a lawyer.She’s doing great.”

“... ya just got one, then?”

“Yeah... my... my dad died.A couple years back.” You pressed your palms to your eyes to hide your tears, leaning the weight of your head on your elbows.

“It was April.I hadn’t... graduated yet.” Your hands withdrew from your eyes, settling at your chin where you held your head. “He was gone before he could meet Henry, before I went off to college, before you guys came up.I still visit the cemetery to talk to him though.Well, ‘talk’ to him.He’s not huge on responding.It’s kind of a one-way conversation.” You let out a soft chuckle, but it cut short when a lump grew in your throat.

“if it’s any consolation, i’m in a similar boat.kinda.” The thick emotions sitting in the air were empathized by one another.“my dad died when i was really really young.like, papyrus was just a baby bones, and i was just getting into third level.”

“Third level?”

“ah, i forget the differences in education... i think third level is the same as... second grade? we don’t have no kindergarten or whatever.”

“Oh.Oh, my God.You were so young.” Your inner eyebrows hitched up, vision blurring as his story continued.He didn’t respond to your comment.His eyes were affixed on his hands.

“my dad was a royal scientist.he used to work for asgore, and he was in the middle of finding a peaceful way to get on the surface, one that required no soul harvesting.” His eye lights hazed up. “he... he vanished... from existence trying to find a way.i used to be a scientist, i had his shit and tried to see where everything went wrong.tried to find out what happened, but... i never got close enough.now, i have three degrees in molecular physics, quantum mechanics, and mathematics, and no dad.i’ve kinda given up at this point.seems everything i do still won’t bring him back.”

“Oh, Sans, honey,” you cooed, holding his hands like he had yours. “I’m so sorry.God, that’s... I’m so sorry.”

He let a tear slip down his cheek and your heart practically shattered.

“how much more did ya want to know?” He asked, his sockets blueing underneath.

You rubbed your thumb over the back of his bone hand, shifting your eyes between his.

“Let’s stop there, okay?That was a bit to unpack.I just... I have one more question.”

“go ahead.”

“You said there have been hundreds of resets, and that you’ve only come up to the surface every so often, but even in those times, you’ve gone for me.Why do you keep chasing after me?Timelines and timelines go past and you still try to get to me up here.”

He stayed quiet, looking at you almost like you were answering your own question.He looked a bit hurt.

“i wanna be with ya,” that sent butterflies straight to your SOUL. “ya got a personality i can’t help myself from.you have a sort of glow that’s irresistible, and ya can withstand my shitty humor.but... i don’t know any like ya.ya just... a timeless love kinda gal.”

Your breath stammered, hitching in your throat before tears resurfaced.

_ You really were a crybaby, weren’t you? _

You both stood from the table, Sans’ arms enveloping your smaller frame easily.Your arms went around his neck, like you fit perfectly in place with him.His skull tucked into the crook of your neck, snuggled against the skin vulnerable by your hair.

The way his hands gripped the fabric of your shirt made your heart burst.You were so affection-starved that when he pressed kisses onto the nape of your neck before hugging you tighter, you felt new waves of tears come on, and your knees shook with the feelings shooting through you.

“I can’t believe I’m the lucky one you want,” you whispered by where his ear might’ve been. “You seem unreal.”

“hey, now,” you heard the emotion thick in his throat, “i may be  ** undead ** but i’m not **unreal**.” You giggled despite the chortling of bubbling tears interrupting.

It quieted down, but you felt something itch the tip of your tongue.You wanted to say something. 

A very specific three words.

You flushed.The burn on your cheeks was brighter than when Sans had teased you after you hooked up, or when you would try to talk to your crush when you were still in grade school, or when Henry would show you off like a piece of meat to his jackass friends—

Not a good memory.

Nonetheless, the fire covering your face continued still as you realized your clear feelings that developed deep in your SOUL.

~~~~~~~~~~

I need to do a check on her SOUL.

She’s been through way too much to be considered alright.I thought it was just the cheating and lingering depression, maybe a bit of anxiety.

She was breaking in front of me.It wasn’t just cheating, it was mentally and emotionally abusive.One of her siblings died, and fuck knows I’m not going to ask how.Her dad is dead and her mom lives pretty damn far.

Fuck.

“hey, sweets,” I said, loosening my grip on my hoodie she wore that I didn’t even realize I had let some tears wet. “can i check up on ya SOUL?”

She drew from the hug, giving me a curious look.

“How does that work?” her eyes were still puffy, shiny with moisture gathering on her lashes.

“we can sit down on the bed, it’s kinda... personal.might take a little energy.”

She nodded, and withdrew from my body to crawl on top of the king mattress we shared.

“Okay, I’m ready.” She sat crisscross applesauce (goddamn elementary school) in the middle of the bed, waiting patiently for my next move.

I smiled, chuckling as I made my way over to her.

I sat next to her, prepping myself for some sort of scarring damage to come.

“ya sure?”

She took a deep breath, and nodded.

“Yes.”

I felt my SOUL reach out to her’s, my blue magic seeing through her body as her SOUL became clear, and whatever information I needed was floating through her conscience.

** (Y/N) 10 ATK 12 DEF **

** *Tends to put others’ wants before her own needs. **

** *Could probably whip your ass in Super Smash Bro’s. **

** CAUTION — SOUL STATE: Heavily cracked, aided by substance, trauma ignored. **

I stopped breathing as her SOUL came into sight.It floated in front of her, right in between the both of us.

It was a beautiful swirl of three colors, a rarity in itself, but the scars on her SOUL scared me to the point of tears.Blue patience, green kindness, and spring green empathy were dancing around like acrobats with ribbons.

The scars were silvery marks, spots of black glittering among the gashes.They were obviously old scars, years old, a couple might have been over a decade worn.

I silently beckoned the SOUL closer, staring with mouth agape as it timidly approached me.I could swear I saw it tremble.

“shit...” I mustered, covering my mouth with my hand. “sweetheart, can i... touch your SOUL?”

She nodded, looking about as nervous as her SOUL.

“okay,” My hand shook as I reached out. “ya might feel something.”

I encased the SOUL in a soft blue, carefully moving it closer without having contact.

My magic released the SOUL, then I stroked a thumb over the front of it to get a feel.

A hand flew over her mouth, and her legs crossed tightly.Her SOUL pressed up against my thumb with a timid shiver. 

The body reaction I expected, SOULs did have an emotional and physical connection to one’s own self, and delicate contact could be... pleasurable.

But the way her SOUL attempted to cling to my thumb, needy for more pressure, was odd.

When a SOUL would attempt clinging, or when it would search for warmth like hers did, it usually meant the person was a bit touch-starved, or a bit affection-starved.Another possible explanation, though probably less likely, was that their SOUL trait had been shamed so many times that whenever they were allowed to express it, they were scared of being too excessive.Or,

trait-starved.

“sweetheart?” I asked quietly, watching as she bit down on her hand. “doin’ okay?”

She nodded furiously, but no audible answer was offered.

I gulped, and gently grazed one of the scars that looked a decade or so old and was one of the deeper ones.She let out a soft sound, and I had to try to contain the blush burning a blue onto my bones as I focused on the beauty of her SOUL.

I did my best to be as delicate as I could as I stirred my magic up to my fingertips, and stroked a phalanx across the scar.

Secondhand emotions rushed through my body quicker than I could comprehend, and a memory rocked my SOUL.Flashes of the prolonged trauma flooded my brain, and feelings I hadn’t felt for years blasted at full force.

~~_ Despair _ ~~

~~_ Grief _ ~~

~~_ Anguish _ ~~

~~_ Dejection _ ~~

It took a toll on my SOUL as little mumbles of old conversations, isolation, and anger bled from her to me.

Tears streamed like waterfalls down my skull, but I couldn’t stop.

I felt the years of pain, of misery wail on me in a split second, and I almost screamed in agony.It felt like my SOUL was splitting in half.Like it was going to shatter under the pressure.

It was the loss of a younger brother.

~~~~~~~~~~

_You tried not to think about it since it had happened, but when Sans brought it out, you felt everything all over again._

_The heartbreak, the disbelief, the denial, the anger, the grieving, the despondency..._

_All of it._

_It forced itself back into your body like it was the day it happened._

_~~~_

_You should have known there was something eating at your brother, especially after you noticed he began eating less at breakfast.It wasn’t anything too big, but you were able to pick it out.Eventually, he skipped breakfast altogether._

_“You aren’t hungry?” You asked skeptically. “But you love waffles!”_

_“No, I don’t,” he muttered, hugging his arms over his stomach. “They don’t taste good to me anymore.”_

_You huffed, rather upset. “Alright.”_

_~~~_

_You grew worried after months past.First it was little things, but after a bit, it became any sort of social outing.He didn’t want to leave his room, let alone the house.Sometimes he wouldn’t go in to school, but you knew he wasn’t sick._

_His shirt sleeves stayed by the end of his wrists, and you hadn’t seen his bare arms for a long time._

_But every time you tried talking to him, he insisted you leave and that he was perfectly okay.That you had no idea what you were talking about._

_One day, the day after you had gotten a couple fresh bottles of your sleep and anxiety medication, you went to the bathroom, but something was wrong._

_You had gotten four new bottles.Your parents trusted you with the pills and said they would help you remember taking them, and would assure you wouldn’t take too much.However, there were only three in the cabinet.Two were antidepressants, and one was a sleep medication, Temazepam, a couple pills down from being full._

_You thought it odd, as there was supposed to be another full bottle of the sleep medication, so you made a note to tell your parents._

_After you had finished up in the bathroom, you quietly stepped into your brother’s room.You had to sidestep piles of clothes that you would most likely be cleaning later.You gently sank onto his mattress, right next to him.You looked over his face._

_His lips looked slightly paler, noticeable, but not alerting.You nudged him with your hand, and that usually did the trick as he was a light sleeper.He didn’t budge._

_You rested both hands on his cool arm and rustled him a bit, whispering his name.Surely, that would wake him up._

_He still didn’t budge._

_Your expression faltered._

_You started shaking him, a lot harder than your past attempts.You had a harsh grip on his cold arms, jostling his body forward and back and calling his name right in his face._

_He kept sleeping._

_You started hyperventilating._

_You called your dad in the room, tears pricking your eyes as you fearfully explained to him that your 13 year old brother was still sleeping._

_Your dad tried to wake him up..._

_to no avail._

_You called 911._

_An ambulance was at your house in about twenty minutes, but it felt like two hours.You paced back and forth in his room, tears rushing down your face until your dad told you to refresh yourself in the bathroom.You nodded, and recklessly made your way to the small room down the hall._

_You splashed water in your face, still gasping for air as tears continued spilling down your cheeks.You grabbed a towel to dry your face off, and went to hang it on a hook._

_The trash can was nearby, and you caught a glance inside._

_Something orange peeked out._

_Your breath stopped._

_You took two heavy steps towards it._

_You reached down into the trash can._

_It was an empty pill bottle._

_Temazepam._

_You almost passed out._

_~~~_

_Your brother laid still on the hospital bed, lips blue and chest rising and falling alarmingly slow._

_Your eyes were burning, a result of crying for hours on end, but you still felt tears cling to your lashes._

_You were so irresponsible, leaving your full pill bottles in such an accessible spot.This was all your fault.You couldn’t believe yourself.You were terrified for your brother’s life, and you were the cause._

_But it was shocking.It didn’t feel real.You didn’t want to believe it.Your brother should’ve still been at home, safe, and cared for more._

Why didn’t you show him you cared more?

He must’ve felt pretty damn unimportant to overdose.

_You kept looking at him, but it felt... like it wasn’t true._

_He’d be fine._

** Right? **

_~~~_

_The funeral was somehow worse than waiting in the hospital.The dazed state you were stuck in as they lowered the coffin into the ground soon morphed into heartbreak.A kind of heartbreak you couldn’t even think about all too hard, because if you honestly put your mind into what you were feeling, you would probably cry until you went insane._

_Your head dropped, and you covered your mouth with a hand._

_Your father wrapped an arm around your shoulders, rubbing your bare arm soothingly._

_He didn’t say a word, but you could hear his light sniffling every so often._

_You leaned against him, trying to quiet your cries into your palm._

_That was possibly the worst trauma you had gone through._

~~~~~~~~~~

You gasped for air, tears surfacing as if it was the same day, and you pressed your hands to your eyes, sobs yanking out of you harshly.

“I-I-It was my f-fault... A-All my fault...” You cried.Your hand pressed to your chest, almost like you could feel a gash internally.Like your heart was literally breaking.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sans watched with hazy blue lights as the scar shined a bright green for kindness, then returned to its original soft glittery silver.The green meant that her kindness was challenged, and that said trait grew in fear of another tragedy that the scar left.She grew kinder in fear of reliving something akin to her younger brother’s death.She couldn’t see it happen again.

Her SOUL refused to let it happen.

Of course she would put what others wanted before what she wanted if she feared that anyone would leave because they felt unloved.

Sans watched her SOUL tremble, and glanced up to her face.

She had a hand over her mouth, eyebrows angled up inwardly, and shoulders shaking with her wails.Her hand balled up, and her knuckle pressed into her lips.When her hand moved, she revealed the splotchy rose color that mantled over her cheeks.

Sans delicately moved her SOUL aside, just enough to get to her without harming it.

He pulled her into an embrace.God, he felt everything.All of it.It hurt more than he knew.To feel like you weren’t enough to keep someone alive.That they didn’t have enough reason to stay alive and you could’ve prevented it.

He felt her sobs shake her entire body.He felt shivers in her joints and across her limbs.He felt her dampen his jacket.Her felt her hands cling to him.Like if she let go,

she might lose him too.

He shook in cries with her, fear tangled in his bones.

oh, stars.

~~~~~~~~~~

“do ya really think ya can go through another memory like that?” he asked.The trauma you had allowed him to put yourself through terrified him.He didn’t want to know that.He didn’t want you to have to show that horrid event to him like that.

“I can do it,” you assured him. “but can you?”

He hadn’t thought about that, but once the idea grazed the tip of his mind, he nodded.If you had gone through such things earlier in your life, he would go through them for you too.He wanted to understand exactly what kind of nightmare you had had to live in in the past.He would help you get through it.

You would do it together.

“for you,” he said.“i’d go to hell and back.”

An embarrassed yet sad smile stretched across your mouth, and you looked down.

“You might think it is,” you muttered, throat sensitive from the sniffling and crying. “and I’m... scared to... scare you off.” The drum of your heart was like thunder in your ears, booming through your body.You could feel the loud pulse down in your fingertips.

“hey,” he caught your attention, not that it had strayed too far. “hey, hey, hey, don’t worry about me leavin’, don’t worry about that.i’m not ditching ya.ya know i’m here for ya.always.i’d never leave ya for something like that.”

A lump formed in your throat as he lavished you with reassurances.You bit your lip to hide its quiver, but it still showed how you tried to repress your reactions. 

You found it especially hard to not start crying again after crying for so long.

“oh, baby, c’mere,” he cooed, gesturing to his lap.You crawled over to him, a bit awkwardly, and sat yourself on his legs.He pulled your legs around his waist, allowing you to hook your ankles around him to secure yourself.

“there you go, ‘s alright... cry it out, babe.” He embraced you gently, rubbing small circles around your back like he always did when you broke down.It was a habit at that point.But, to be fair, it soothed you.The shaking in your shoulders died down, and your grasping on his hoodie became less erratic.Your breathing evened out, matching up along with his. “there we are.”

He leaned back from the hug, but there was still a lack of proximity.He brought a hand down your jawline, tracing up to the tear trickling over your cheek.You leaned into his palm, his firm, smooth, and gentle palm.It felt like you both were constantly connecting through tears.Through heartbreak.Through rants.It felt like whatever traumas you had gone through were always spoken.You always put them out into the open.There was never much anything left unsaid.

Goosebumps flared down your back, a tingling blush burning your cheeks as his eye lights flickered down to your lips.

They fixed back to your eyes, a different sort of light emanating from them.

“whenever ya need me, i’ll be there,” he whispered, albeit throatier. “promise.”

“Sans, you don’t have t—”

“i know.but i promise that to ya.”

You held his gaze, finding a redder blush kick into your cheeks.

You leaned forward, eyes closing as you melted against him.

The kiss was soft.Well, as soft as teeth could be.But they were light on your lips, and his hand stayed cradling your cheek, gently.

His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling a soft sigh from you, rather embarrassingly.Goosebumps, again, raced across your skin, down your back, tingling all the way to your ankles.

His phalanges traced up your scalp to the thick of your hair, deepening the kiss with slight pressure.

You obliged, hooking your arms around his neck like it was where they belonged.Rib cage pressing into your chest, he moved closer.You cheeks flushed with heat, affection and traces of lust turning you tomato red.

Sans tilted his head slightly, angling up in a way that caught you in a depth of his passion.A tug on your bottom lip courtesy of his chompers had you gasping, mainly out of surprise, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t hot.

The kiss slowed down to the pace it held when it started, with his teeth barely grazing your lips and his phalanges holding your chin up to angle with his.

His teeth finally drew from you, albeit only by an inch.His breath still rolled heat over your cheeks and caused a brighter blush to flourish on your face. 

Foreheads still touching, you opened your eyes just barely to his.

Raw emotion circled the atmosphere between and around you both.

“i love you, (y/n).”

~~~~~~~~~~

...

And there it was.

Frozen in time with the words, you hardly felt your breath stop, or your eyes widen like full moons.It was so... so...

You didn’t know.

The word, from his mouth, sounded like waterfalls, like fulfilling natural feelings born from his SOUL.Your name attached to the sentence sent a numbness that ripples through your body.Your chest tightened; your hands practically ripped the seams of his clothing with your grasp; your limbs seized up, paralyzed.

But, most prominently, you felt the strongest instinct, the most welcoming comfort of saying it back.

“I love you, too.” The words, heavy like honey on your tongue, filled the silence that drew on when you processed his confession.A hot, searing blush surely covered the whole of your face, even up to your ears.You were terrified to admit such a huge emotion to him, especially after only a couple days of dating.

_ Holy shit.You were only dating for a couple days. _

** No way. **

** No _fucking_ way! **

It felt like you had been together for forever.Like it’d been months.Like you’d known each other for so long.

It was so weird.Why did you feel comfort in admitting such a thing to an SO you had dated for not even a week, yet you felt like you were shoving needles into your tongue whenever you said such a thing to Henry?

You... You liked admitting it to Sans.

“I love you,” you repeated. “I love you so much.” The words spilled from your mouth, and although you had to get used to the feeling, it felt nice.

“god, you’re adorable,” he hummed.You giggled, an overjoyed smile itching up your lips.Your hands slid down to his jawline, and an uncontrollable smile pulled your face up as you laid kiss after kiss all over his skull.

Faint lipgloss marks scattered over his head, but you couldn’t hold in your ecstasy.You could admit you loved Sans.You could finally say it out loud.

“I love you!A lot!A whole hell of a lot!” You squealed.You loved saying it.The word floated like bubbles off your tongue.

“i love ya, too,” he replied, chuckling. “i love ya a whole helluva lot.” He sounded casual, but the occasion felt as big as a wedding day. 

After your last relationship that left you in ruins and in a husk of yourself, someone loving you felt impossible.Henry made that clear to you.And you believed him for so so long.You felt disgusting.You felt like an empty piece of shit.Like dirt on the bottom of a shoe.

But Sans...

he just told you he loved you.

He **loved** you.

That word made your insides go fuzzy.

You hugged Sans close to you, giddy elation fueling your movements.

“I love you so much, slippers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m in love w all of you!!!!! so please stay safe!!!!! <33 corona is getting scary and i hope you all are well!!! side note - i’ve been getting into minecraft again????? weird. well, anyways, i’m having fun w it. wash your hands, use hand sanitizer, but pick up some hobbies !!!!! <333 love u guys!!!!! i’ll try to get another chapter out by.... next saturday??? maybe???? sorry if that seems like a long time i’m trying :///  
> and hey! shoutout to @Underfell_is_pretty_cool who has commented on almost all of my chapters since day one and is just an amazing person. not that all of you aren’t amazing !!! and thank you to those who have also been commenting on like all my chapters!!!!! i love you guys!!!!!!! but yeah they just are super sweet and incredible and definitely deserve some love!!!!! you’re amazing!!!!!! <3333


	27. DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love Again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another memory and roller rink!!!! sorry for the month and a half delay :(( also you guys should totally watch the netflix original (i think it is) Russian Doll. it is incredible. i’m using it for a paper in lit.

“okay, it’s gonna happen again,” Sans prefaced you with a warning.Your SOUL was out and his magic was buzzing on his fingertips, blue and cold.You nodded, feeling ready for another past trauma to slap you in the face.As much as it fucking sucked.

He focused on a scar that was newer.Definitely fresher.Black dots glittered inside like crystals, and as he stroked the cut, the black crystalline glitter shined a darker blue.It was darker than the blues that made up your SOUL, but it was lighter than Sans’ integrity trait.

It was trust blue.

Oh, shit.

_** Heartbreak ** _

_** Loneliness ** _

_** Fear ** _

_** Violation ** _

_** Violence ** _

_** Helplessness ** _

_** Terror ** _

Your younger brother’s suicide was terrifying, and much scarier than the emotions with this one, but this one... there were so many more feelings.Fear seized up his limbs, betrayal sat heavy in his heart, isolation surrounded and suffocated him, and he felt wronged.Trust seeped out of your body.Someone you knew and loved was purposefully hurting you.Sans couldn’t breathe as he understood.

You were raped.

Over and over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~~

His hands wandered over your body, first on your arm, then past your shoulder, lingering over your chest.

You had told him before.You were a virgin, and losing that part of yourself was scary.You wanted to be ready for it. 

He had already taken that from you, painfully.Doing it again was downright _terrifying_.The grabbing, the slapping, the pushing, but mainly...

... the discomfort.

You hated being so vulnerable, so naked in front of him.You thought you could feel him judging you silently as his eyes raked over your body.It scared you.

His hands groped at your chest, and he stole a kiss from your lips, unmatched aggression fueling his motions.You felt out of place, you didn’t want it, you wanted him off, _please get off—_

“Henry—“ you tried, drawing back.

He forced himself back on you, ignoring you and any attempts of yours to move him off. 

A wave of fear paralyzed you.No, _not again, not again, **not again—**_

You hadn’t even realized his hands had moved until one pulled your bottoms down.

“Henry, please, wait, I don’t—”

**Slap!**

Your head turned as his hand came in contact with your cheek.The pain set in, a dull stinging that brought tears to your eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re fine.Don’t make this hard for me.”

The words made more tears sting your eyes, but you muted yourself.Your lips sealed, and as much as you wanted to scream for help, you shut up.

Henry slid himself inside, but all that was running through your head was: _I’m not ready, it’s gonna hurt, **I’m not ready, please don’t do this—**_

It squeezed inside, pushing deeper and deeper.It _burned_.It burned like a fire.It rubbed so wrong, it hurt so much more than you thought.

“Someone’s fucking tight, and I thought you weren’t gonna like this.”

You didn’t.You weren’t aroused.You were dry.There was no lubrication and it fucking stung.You wanted him out of you.Oh, god it fucking hurt.

He thrusted in and out, rubbing you raw and you used your lip to bite down on to shut yourself up.

“P-Please...” Stop.Your voice trailed before you could say that, though, and so you just screamed internally instead.

“Please what?” His pace grew.You thought you felt blood.

“Slow... please...” your voice was frail, quiet, and watery with tears that ran down your cheeks.

“You’re doing fine, now shut up and let me have this.You love me, don’t you?You want me to feel happy, right?”

You covered your mouth with your hand to stifle a cry.Your other hand reached around his back, clawing at his skin.It hurt so fucking much, oh god, you wanted it to be over, holy shit, just finish already.

His hand was around your throat.

“You love me.Don’t you, bitch?” You couldn’t fucking breathe.Let go.Fuck, oh please, just _let go—_

“Hen... Henry...” you choked. “L-Let... go... c-ca... n’t breathe...” Your hands were pulling at his, tears running free down your face.

“You love me.Say it.”

“L-Lo... ve y-...you.”

He released your neck, but you didn’t get much of a chance to breathe before he was thrusting back into you, rutting into your cervix like a punching bag for his dick.

Fucking finally he pulled out, jacking his cock off a couple more times before cumming all over your chest and your face.

The white and sticky semen got in your hair, over your cheek, on your lip... you felt disgusting.

You shoved him off you, and rushed to the bathroom.

“HEY!” he shouted, but you were already at the toilet.

Vomiting.

~~~

You were in the shower again, in the middle of the night, washing the stench of sweat, the stain of blood, and the remnants of cum from your body.You hated it.You rinsed the blood off from down there, wincing when you realized you were still sensitive.

You started crying.You hated this.What was the point?It was so fucking painful.

You lathered soap gently over your body, touching your still aching cheek that he slapped.There would definitely be a bruise.It was so sore, and his force was shocking.

Your shoulders shook, and you put a hand up over your eyes, almost like that would help you block out how bad it had gotten.

You fucking hated sex.

~~~

You looked in the mirror, eyes fixed on your neck.

“Wear a scarf,” you heard him say from the other side of the room.

So you did.Those hand marks weren’t invisible.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sans was speechless, mouth agape, and body frozen.

You were sobbing, knuckle pressed into your mouth, and tears falling like rain.

He had no idea what to say.He didn’t know how to process that.You were taken advantage of, beaten, and you were used for your ex’s pleasure—his alone. 

Should he hold you?Would you want that?Were you okay with that?You were probably petrified... he didn’t want you to be afraid of him.Did you need space?Oh, god, he had no fucking idea...

“s-sweetheart?” he asked, fear pulsing through him as if his heart was made of it. “is it... d-do ya want me to... can i h-hold you?” You were shaking like a leaf, hands clutching your sides, head curled in on yourself as you cried.It was heartbreaking, and to Sans, far beyond scary.

Your head raised to meet his eyes, and yours were ones he’d never forget.

Thick walls of distrust, of betrayal, of mountainous pains were built in your irises.Walls secured as boundaries, a personal safety that allowed you your own space.

Those walls had been broken.Henry had destroyed them, singlehandedly, using your own love, kindness, and trust against you to leave yourself vulnerable.He tore you apart with your own beautiful traits, he used yourself against you.He overpowered you and silenced you, he left the walls in crumbles and then he sneered at you for building them.You were left, just as your walls were: broken, ridiculed, and violated.You were no longer safe in your once safe space.

Whispered at a volume that Sans only saw as a miracle for why he heard it, you answered him finally, “ _Please_.”

Shattered, frail, and subdued was your voice.A combination that resulted in the delicacy of a feather: a feather ripped to shreds in hopes of using its beauty.Only to be left in pieces, and rejected because of the new appearance.

Sans forgot how fast he moved to hold you.He couldn’t remember if he took his time or if he scrambled, for all he remembered was your body close to his, and the shudders that rippled through you like pebbles in a pond.

~~~~~~~~~~

You and Sans had an unspoken rule about reliving your old traumas.You would take a break between each one.He said something about telling him if you didn’t want to go through another, or if you needed more time in between them.You agreed, and thanked him.

You had decided to go to a roller rink.You used to roller (blade/skate) a lot when you were younger, and the suggestion of it brought up a few good memories.Your older sister brought you to the roller rink a lot when you were little, with a bit of parent persuading.

When you and Sans had gotten your roller (blades/skates) on, you took your stuff to a locker to keep safe.

For a minute, you forgot you were dating Sans.

“y’know, with ya looking like such a snack, ya practically a _meal on wheels_ ,” he winked.You groaned. “what? can’t blame me, that’s just how i _roll_ , sweets.”

You couldn’t fight the smile that shined through at that one, but you could ignore him enough to try and make him stop.

“aren’t ya gonna take the _roller bait_?” You rolled your eyes.He probably used your annoyance as fuel.

“How many of these do you have?” You asked, finally looking over to him.He was wearing a shit-eating grin, eyes hopeful that you’d finally respond.

“why?am i _irri-skating_ you?is it _fru-skating_ how good i am at these?”

“Why did I bring you.”

“are ya saying it was a _mis-skate_ —“

“Sans, I swear to fucking god, you say one more pun and I’m leaving.”

“... are ya gonna _confi-skate_ my pun privileges—“

“Alright, see ya.”

“wai— heheheh... wait, don’t *snort* go.”

You rolled off, going to find the entrance of the rink, when Sans rolled in front of you, skating backwards so he was facing you.

“Someone’s showing off.” You crossed your arms. 

“i’m tryin’ so you’ll forget about the puns and focus on how charming i am,” he smiled half-apologetically.You smiled in return, albeit still annoyed.

“I’m swooning,” you rolled your eyes.“Now hold my hand so you don’t run into someone.” He chuckled, slowing a little so he could skate next to you.

You got a phone call, so you shifted, and stopped by the wall, mouthing “one sec” to Sans. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” Flutter spoke up on the other line. “How are you?”

“Hey, Flutter!It’s so nice to hear from you!” you responded eagerly.Her voice wasn’t shaking as much.“I’m doing well!How are things back there?”

“They’re good... You left a couple things at work before you left, um, should I drop them off at your apartment?”

“Oh!Damn!” you slapped a hand to your forehead. “Can’t believe I did that—yeah, if it’s no trouble!But if you don’t want to, or it’s too much then you can just leave them there, don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, n-no it’s alright!I have a lot of free time, so I can just... drop by really quick.It’s just a few things.Where should I put them?” She was so sweet.Watching Flutter step out of her shell was a treat, even if it was just baby steps.You loved talking with her when she was feeling up for it.

“I can tell you my room number, and... my landlord will probably let you drop some stuff off... I don’t know.She’s kinda lax.If it doesn’t work out, then you can just leave it at work.And, Flutter, thank you!”

You could hear some jittering and flustered sounds on the other line.

“Oh, well, it’s really, um, no problem.I hope that your trip goes well... W-We miss you!”

“Miss you too, Flutter!I’ll see you in a couple days!” You smiled as you said goodbye once more, and you looked to Sans, sitting on a high of bliss from talking to Flutter.

“flutter called?” he asked.

“Yeah!She seems a lot... more comfortable, y’know?I don’t know, she seems happier.”

“that’s really good.whimsums were always a bit shy in the underground.nice to hear she’s getting more sociable.” His hand laced with yours as he spoke, and he skated a few inches closer.The smile on your face brightened as you listened to him.

“Yeah, I thought so too.Hey!Maybe we could invite her over for dinner one night?Hang out?I want her to feel welcome!” You were already following a train of thought on what to cook that night when Sans responded to you.

“yeah, we’ll have to invite her over.‘m glad she’s stepping outta her shell.” 

“Mhm,” you smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~

Roller rinks were so underrated.Hell, the songs were all early 2000s pop; the food was just greasy enough to be between good and shit; and it smelled a mix of sweat, plastic, and pizza.Fuck yeah.

The song playing at that moment was Usher’s “DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love” and you were going fucking wild.You only knew a few lines, but damn, did you sing them.

You were off the rink for a small snack, and you ordered a piece of pizza while Sans got a hotdog. 

“ya should go pro, sweets,” Sans taunted. “seems like ya gotta future in singin—“

“‘Cause baby tonight!” you belted, effectively cutting him off. “DJ got us fallin’ in love again!”You pointed to him, silently telling him to sing the next line.He chuckled.

“yeah, baby tonight,” monotone was still singing, “dj got us fallin’ in love again.” You nodded along, biting your bottom lip to keep the giggles in.

“So dance, dance, like it’s the last, last night of your life, life, gonna get you right.” You pointed to him again, faking a microphone near his mouth.

“‘cause baby tonight, dj got us fallin’ in love again,” he sang with a little more enthusiasm that time, and you squealed in excitement.

You clapped for him, giggling as he bowed.Well, you were seated, so he bowed as much as he could’ve without his head hitting the table.

“thank ya, i’ll be here all night.”

“Hey, do you wanna try the arcade for a bit?That way we can wait for our food to settle before we get on the rink again.” He nodded, and stuffed a couple more bites of hotdog in his mouth.You left the table, finally finishing off the rest of your pizza and heading over to the arcade area where they kept the prizes.

“sure, and ya gotta point out what toy ya want so i know what t’ win for ya.” You grinned at his offer. 

“You’re gonna win me something?” you asked, almost skeptical.He gave you a look as if that was even a question.

“hell yeah i am.gonna win ya the biggest damn thing they got.” You laughed.

“Well, then I’m gonna win you something, too,” you smirked. “So, order up, slippers, because I am about to get you the nicest prize in here.”

Sans grinned, eyeing up the items.

“how about that alien dude?i knew a guy that looked like him in college.”

“Really?”

“no, we don’t have anyone that looks like that.”

You snorted.“God, you’re so annoying sometimes.”

“only for you, babe,” he winked.

“Just win me that teddy bear,” you said, fighting your smile.

It was good to get your minds off the nightmare you had gone through earlier, and you were, once again, very grateful that Sans was helping you through it.The rest of the night eased you into mindless fun, and you ended it by getting into bed and almost immediately falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i swear i have an excuse  
> it’s not a good one - but it is one.
> 
> i am thinking up the plot for A NEW BOOK!!!!
> 
> this new book WILL be about undertale (again), but it will not be in the undertale au. it will be in the underfell au! i am a whore for fell sans.
> 
> i have a lot of it figured out (chapters prologue-22) and i have a lot of depth in the characters. i’m very excited and i hope you guys are too!!!! anyways sorry for this shit chapter. i have had a hard time motivating myself as usual but i’m hoping i can do better. idk. love u guys!!! <3333

**Author's Note:**

> hey! my first story so go easy ’:) love whoever ends up reading this!! <3 love ur comments!!
> 
> 400.... kudos........ i’m......... speechless <3
> 
> 5000 hits?????? 5000 HITS?!?!!?! since WHEN DID I DESERVE THAT!!!!!
> 
> i’m literally in tears this has 70+ bookmarks, 5000+ hits, and 400+ kudos..... i can’t even w you guys 😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺😘😘😍😍😍😍😘😘😘💗💕💕💘💞💘💖🥰🥰❤️🥰❤️💖🥰❤️💘🥺😭😘😘😍🥰😍💞😍🤧💖🤧🤧💖🤧💖💞😘 honestly you guys keep me going and i am so happy to be writing for all u


End file.
